That’s It, I’m Haircut Shaming: 26 Styles That Made Me Gasp Out Loud

Author image for John Summers
John Summers • Contributor
Jul 6, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Look, I try to be open-minded. I really do. I believe in letting people express themselves however they want… but even I have a breaking point. And this is it. These 26 haircuts aren't just "bad." They're full-blown, follicular crimes against humanity. These aren't innocent oopsies from an overzealous barber. No, these are intentional. These folks walked into a salon, made direct eye contact with a licensed professional, and said something like, "Shave my head, but only from the back, then paint the front green and make sure both sideburns are knotted beneath my chin," or "I want a bowl cut in the front and I want the back to look like a purple rat" And then - then - they paid actual money for the privilege.

We're not talking about a cowlick or a tragic bang trim. We're talking green mohawks with a mullet tail, bowl cuts paired with sideburn braids, and things that might be trying to summon a demon. I don't know. What I do know is that we're all going to have trust issues with our mirrors after this.

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