'He told me I was being unreasonable': Relationship crumbles when 42-year-old boyfriend skips family's July 4th barbecue because he can't bring his dog, then accuses girlfriend of never loving his pup

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Jul 9, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

When it's time for us to adopt another doggo, animal fam, it's going to be a tiny dog. We've always been "big dog" people our entire lives. We grew up with goofy golden retrievers, dabbled in the occasional bernese mountain dog, had a litter of labs, and lots of other big rescue dogs. Big dogs have their advantages - like they're usually smarter (usually), are more fun to play with (our pawsonal opinion), and better snugglers. However, they do have their disadvantages - they love to lie on your lap despite weighing more than 100 pounds and you can't bring them everywhere simply because they're too big.

One dog owner-boyfriend experienced just that. After facing criticism from his family over wanting to bring his dog to their family's Fourth of July barbecue, he skipped it, leaving his girlfriend high and dry. He then accused her of never loving his pup, and from there, everything just went downhill. Read through the full doggo disaster below!

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  • 01

    My boyfriend will not go anywhere without his dog.

    '[He] passive aggressively told me to "go have fun" with my family.
    via vgajic

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (41F) have been dating this guy (42M) for around 9 months and I'd say our relationship is pretty serious. In the beginning of us dating he seemed to have no problem leaving his dog at home for a couple hours to hang out with me. Sometimes he'd bring
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 03
    her along, but it definitely wasn't a constant. Something seemed to change a few months in to our relationship. He started to seem more and more hesitant to leave his dog (for simplicity we'll call her Tina) at home.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995

  • We've said it before, and we'll say it again: we love our doggo so much that we wish we could bring her everywhere with us. The reality is that we can't, and frankly, she probably doesn't want to. She needs her beauty rest at home, and it would be insensitive of us to try to force her to do everything we do.

  • 04
    Now, I've been very open and loving to his dog throughout the relationship, as I also have two cats that I love and wanted him to be involved with. He's always made side comments about how I don't love Tina as much as my cats, but I brushed them off as jokes.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 05
    This week he invited me to go with him to a 4th of July cookout that his family was hosting, and I was pretty nervous but also excited. I got up the morning of the cookout, did my hair and makeup, put on a cute outfit, only for him to not
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 06
    answer any of my calls or texts. He hadn't previously told me what time the cookout was so I had no idea if we were still on for our plans. He had also. agreed to attend my own family's cookout with me after we left from his.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 07
    At this point I get a text from him telling me that he doesn't want to go to his family's cookout because he can't bring Tina, as they do not allow the dog inside the house. I thought this was weird since he'd just
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 08
    confirmed the plans yesterday and this is something he would've already known. Tina is never allowed inside his family's house. Then he tells me that if I want him to come to my family's cookout then he will have to leave Tina on a leash outside. I told him I wouldn't have a
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10526493696
    via akchamczuk

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    problem with that but that Tina would 100% be miserable because of the fireworks that get set off in this neighborhood and I was worried about her well-being.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 11
    He then told me I was being unreasonable and that he knows I do not care about Tina. Never have I once done anything that indicates me not caring about Tina. I've bought Tina treats,
    via Beginning_Fruit4995

  • It sounds like she's actually really good with Tina! Some cat lovers wouldn't make any effort at all, but by the way she describes it, it feels like she's doing more than her part. This boyfriend has no right to complain at all, if you ask us.

  • 12
    new collars, she comes to work with me sometimes, she rides in my car. I don't even know where he's gotten this idea that I hate her or that I don't want her around. I spend time with Tina every single day.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 13
    I told him that honestly I didn't know how our relationship was ever going to work out if he was unwilling to leave Tina at home for even a couple hours at a time. Are we never supposed to go out on a date to see a movie? Or go to dinner? Or do anything
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10526495232
    via Antonio_Diaz

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    that prevents Tina from coming? He said that he was shocked and that me saying all of this "changed things for him". Then he went into a self deprecating paragraph about how he's tried to be good enough for me but he guessed he never can. Passive aggressively told me to "go have fun" with my family.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 16
    I dropped some of his laundry I had washed for him off at his house and all I said was "you're welcome" before getting in my car and driving away. Neither of us have reached out since.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 17
    I still don't understand what even happened. What changed? He's open about having some mental health struggles and I know having Tina around helped him through a lot of that. I very much understand how important pets are to people. My cats are my best friends too, but they don't come everywhere with me, they can't. I don't know what to do.
    via Beginning_Fruit4995
  • 18
    SnooRecipes9891 Sounds like he is using Tina as a way to prevent a true connection. You will always love your cats more than his - dog that is illogical.
    via SnooRecipes9891
  • 19
    Shivs_baby I can't get past the part about doing his laundry and dropping it off for him.
    via Shivs_baby
  • 20
    FinanciallySecure9 If you're looking for internet approval to break up with him, you've got it.
    via FinanciallySecure9
  • 21
    Severe-Dot-3319 It sounds like he's using her as an excuse to end the relationship.
    via Severe-Dot-3319
  • 22
    jmooremcc It's beyond your pay grade to fix your boyfriend's psychological problems. The best you can do is encourage him to start seeing a therapist and if he won't, it would be best for your own mental health to breakup with him and move on with your life.
    via jmooremcc
  • 23
    MindlessTask5206 I can see him wanting to be around his dog during fireworks, my dog was visibly shaking in fear last night due to them so I skipped out on firework festivities to take care of him BUT I was still at
    via MindlessTask5206
  • 24
    multiple pool parties during the day hanging out with people without him. I do on occasion use my dog as an excuse to get out of things or leave. "Gotta go check on my dog" He should be able to live life without his dog constantly by his side.
    via MindlessTask5206
  • 25
    YouKnowYourCrazy I was like "eh" about the dog but the text he sent is a huge ick. Manipulative and gross. Making you the bad guy without attempting to solve the problem with you. That's a giant nope.
    via YouKnowYourCrazy
  • 26
    He was probably on his best behavior the first 6-8 months, but now he's done with that and you're seeing who he really is. I think that's what changed. He's no longer playing at being a good BF.
    via YouKnowYourCrazy
  • 27
    I think this is already over, but you may want to send a text to finalize things.
    via YouKnowYourCrazy

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barbecue dogs pupper relationships girlfriend fourth of july animals relationship drama
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