24-year-old refuses to attend younger brother's wedding after he invites her cheating ex-husband: 'It's his wedding, and he can ask whoever he wants'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 10, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

One of the most important things that a family can provide for a person is their support, particularly when they are going through a hard time or have been mistreated. While there can be limits to care and generosity when they do not seem to be appreciated, most desire the security of knowing that if needed, their relatives will fight in their corner.

Sadly, this isn't always how it transpires. Many individuals wind up feeling betrayed by their loved ones when they act in ways that are not in the best interests of protecting them for no good reason.

A not uncommon way in which this happens is with relationships. Sometimes, when a romantic partnership ends acrimoniously, family members decide that they prefer an ex-partner over a relative. It can be a painful rejection, and one that easily upsets the family dynamic when it seems like there is no good reason to continue welcoming this individual.

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  • 01

    AITA for asking my brother to not invite my ex to his wedding?

    So for some background, Me (24 f) and my ex 'B' (24 m) got divorced last fall. It didn't end amicably or well as he was very ab ive and cheated. Fast forward to now, my brother G (21 m) has been dating his girlfriend A (19 F) since December and they are getting married soon. At one point i was discussing wedding details with G and asked him who he is going to have as his groomsman. He said the names of a couple childhood friends that he's always planned on having, but then he mentioned that he w
    via montanamountains406
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10527831808
    via Clem Onojeghuo

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman faced this unfortunate behavior from her brother after he told her that he planned on inviting her ex-husband to his wedding. The couple had divorced last year following her ex cheating on her and mistreating her.

    For obvious reasons, the woman requested that he not invite him, but her brother didn't want to listen. She was considering not attending the ceremony, but she wanted to know if that was taking things too far.

  • 03
    *side note, When i got divorced, my family came across the country to see where i lived and help me move back to be nearer to them. While there, my parents took my ex out to breakfast to hear his side of what actually happened and they made a deal with him that they wouldn't contact him for 2 years unless there was a major life event like a death or marriage.* I responded to G's statement with i don't know if he will come, especially with how soon after the divorce it will be. He wont want to fa
    via montanamountains406
  • 04
    Later on i brought it up again and asked if he was still planning on asking B to come to the wedding. He said yes. I asked him to not, i said it will be very uncomfortable to both B and I, Especially being a wedding. My brother just said its his wedding and he can ask whoever he wants and i should just get over it. So am i the a hole for asking my brother to not invite my ex to his wedding?
    via montanamountains406
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10527834368
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Commenters understood her discomfort.

    ThePurplestMeerkat What kind of goofy a h le invites his sister's cheating ab ive ex-husband to his wedding?
    via ThePurplestMeerkat
  • 07
    Plumplum_NL A better question is why a 21 yo is marrying a 19yo after only 8 months of dating?
    via Plumplum_NL
  • 08
    vitalesan Is your brother selfish, inconsiderate, shows lack of empathy?.... Probably yes to all the above. But he can choose who he wants and you can choose to be there or not. Why is your family so receptive to your ex?
    via vitalesan
  • 09
    Relevant-Read1286 why are you even asking if YTA??? your entire family sks dude, you're obviously NTA & i actually think you could be meaner.
    via Relevant-Read1286
  • 10
    NTA: YuansMoon I have to say that your family is fuct up. They took him out to breakfast to hear his side? Agreed not to contact him for 2 years? Your brother wants to invite him to his wedding and maybe be in the wedding party? It should be enough for you to say you don't want him involved with the family for them to cut him out 100%. Add in that he was ab ive and he should be scared of your family. Tell your family, your ex is person nongrata or else you need to draw boundaries to stay clear o
    via YuansMoon
  • 11
    girltuesday Hey so I wouldn't go to this wedding at all. Your family took your ex out to brunch to hear his side of the story after he cheated on & then abused you? Why? I'm glad you've gotten away from your ex, I would give myself some room from my brother too if this is how he feels. And also, maybe give the bride a heads up that your brother doesn't see a problem with ab ive behavior.
    via girltuesday
  • 12
    meggie_mischief Your brother is either very immature or the AH himself if he cares so little for how you feel about inviting your ex to his wedding; especially considering how it ended. Which btw, it's your brother's first wedding, skip it. He met his fiance last December 2024 and is already getting married after less than a year?! I know it's possible for quick courtships to last in marriage but your brother already comes across as very immature and impulsive. Hopefully he matures and you can g
    via meggie_mischief
  • 13
    Fun_Concentrate_7844 NTA. I would just tell your brother to please invite him so it can save you the time of attending his first wedding and getting him a gift. But you'll be sure to consider attending his next wedding as I'm sure there will be another one.
    via Fun_Concentrate_7844
  • 14
    jinxxed42 OP. you can't control your brother. He is making a AH move. you can only control what you can do. Don't go or if you go have a back up plan and an exit strategy. You choose what is right for you. Your brother wants drama. so do what's right for you
    via jinxxed42
  • 15
    Chehairazode NTA.... Your brother is obtuse.
    via Chehairazode
  • 16
    jamiekynnminer nta - your brother can invite anyone he wants to his child wedding but if it was me, i'd make my family choose. me or the cheating ex. if they choose him, dip out. they're all ahles.
    via jamiekynnminer
  • 17
    NerdyGreenWitch Tell your brother you won't be attending and will be cutting contact. Why is he excited about the man who hurt and abused his sister? Sounds like your family supports your ab er, not you.
    via NerdyGreenWitch
  • 18
    Osteojo NTA. Technically it is your brother's wedding so he can technically invite whomever he pleases. It you'd think having family members feeling happy and comfortable would any friend that may be an ex in status. Questions: do you get along well with you brother? Is he a sympathetic person, normally? How long has he known G? Is it a strong friendship? Would you feel unsafe and uncomfortable enough to refuse to attend the wedding? Not playing any games with your brother but truly baring your
    via Osteojo
  • 19
    zeugma888 Your whole family are treating you horribly. Perhaps you should go low contact. If you have to go to the wedding I suggest you plan to quietly leave early. And if you have any reliable family or friends there ask them (ahead of time) to help you avoid your ex as much as possible. I hope your brother doesn't seat you next to your ex.
    via zeugma888
  • 20
    serjsomi Tell him you'll skip this wedding, but will see him at his next one.
    via serjsomi
  • 21
    murphy2345678 He can invite anyone he wants. And you can decline any wedding invitation you get. At this point you shouldn't go at all, even if he doesn't invite him.
    via murphy2345678
  • 22
    Lisa_Knows Best Don't go to the wedding. Your brother has no consideration for you. It doesn't seem any of your family does considering they took him out to eat to hear his "side". Avoid all these people, they do not have your best interests in mind.
    via Lisa_Knows_Best
  • 23
    SinglePermission9373 I got divorced after 26 years simply because I didn't want to be married to him anymore. My parents didn't sit down and get his side much less invite him to any family weddings since. This is insane and disrespectful of your brother.
    via SinglePermission9373
  • 24
    Momof41984 Tell bro thar it is his event and he is can invite whoever he wants. But that you will be declining any invites to events that your ab er is attending. Protect your peace do not keep the peace. Don't get mad or negotiate. An invite is not a summons and actions have consequences.
    via Momof41984

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