Woman cuts off sister financially after finding out she’s besties with the younger woman her husband of 20 years left her for: 'She said it wasn't a big deal'

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Jul 13, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Sisters have a sacred bond. It can be rocky; there are definitely a lot of petty fights, jealousy, and the more-than-occasional "borrowed" sweater that never makes its way back. But no matter what, when it really counts, you always have each other's backs. Especially when it comes to men. It's practically an unspoken rule that you take your sister's side against any man who wrongs her, whether it's a clueless boyfriend, a terrible husband, or, in this case, a cheating ex-husband who left her for a much younger woman.

Imagine finding out your own sister wasn't just in contact with your ex, but was actually best friends with the very woman your husband left you for. The same 24-year-old woman who played a role in ending your 20-year marriage. Ouch. That has to hurt. 

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  • This story takes betrayal to a whole new level, and you’ll want to stick around until the end because we’ve got an update on where her and her sister stand today.

  • DO
    via Marek Studzinski For Unsplash+

  • "AITA for financially scr*wing over my sister after finding out she’s close with my ex and his wife?"

    Usually, I wouldn't take personal advice from strangers online, but everyone in my life seems to think I'm a petty, scorned, bitter woman (which I probably am), and I need objective advice.
    via pettywoman_
  • My ex-husband (currently 43M) and I (43F) were college sweethearts. For me, life felt perfect. I trusted him completely.
    via pettywoman_
  • That's why it was so shocking when I found out he was in love with his much younger colleague. She was around 24 at the time. I won't get into the details of how I found out, but
    via pettywoman_
  • the affair was well-known at his workplace. When I confronted him, all he said was, "I'm sorry. I tried really hard not to fall for her." He didn't seem sorry at all. It felt like he wanted
    via pettywoman_
  • me to leave him. So I did. That was six years ago. Our son was four then, and it was the worst time of my life. I honestly don't know how I got through it. And because I was
    via pettywoman_
  • desperate, I wanted him to fight for me, to fight for our family. But he didn't. He was quick to sign the divorce papers and didn't even fight for custody. It was as if he
    via pettywoman_
  • had started a new life and completely erased the old one. It took years of therapy to feel normal again, to stop checking that woman's social media and comparing myself to her.
    via pettywoman_
  • The fact that she's very pretty and charming didn't help. His family loved her. And as disgusting as it sounds, one of our common friends even said it out loud, 'I don't support
    via pettywoman_
  • cheating but I mean, look at her', when I told her about the cheating. I guess that's what everyone was thinking, this one was just stupid enough to voice it out. So
    via pettywoman_
  • I had to cut off that group of friends too. They got married three years ago and now have a daughter. A picture- perfect little family.
    via pettywoman_
  • The current arrangement is that our son stays with my ex on weekends and holidays, which works fine for the most part. Last week, I found out my sister (28f) has been in
    via pettywoman_
  • touch with my ex all these years. That would've been forgivable, since they were close when we were married and she saw him as a brother. But she's actually best friends with his new wife. And she
    via pettywoman_
  • kept it from me for six years. I only found out because she left her phone at my house, and I saw several texts from the wife. When I asked her about it, she just brushed it off and said it wasn't a big deal.
    via pettywoman_
  • Cheezburger Image 10528301312
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her she can do what she wants, but I will be cutting her off completely (I was helping her pay her college loans lol). and going no contact. She called me unreasonable and said I'm being petty
    via pettywoman_
  • and unable to move on from something that happened a long time ago. She also said the wife is a lovely person and a good friend. She said she will be f ed, financially speaking. I told. her to go f herself.
    via pettywoman_
  • Somehow, my parents agree with her. So, AITA?
    via pettywoman_
  • PrincessBella1 NTA. Your sister has the right to be friends with whom she chooses to and you have the right to do with your money as you wish. Take the money you
    via PrincessBella1
  • have been contributing to her and put it in your son's college fund. Let your ex, his wife, and your parents pay for her school loans.
    via PrincessBella1
  • Fire_or_water_kai So your sister only cared to have you pay her loans. That's why she kept it a secret, and that's why you! shouldn't feel bad cutting her off. She needs to ask
    via Fire_or_water_kai
  • your lovely ex and his wife to foot the bill from here on out. NTA
    via Fire_or_water_kai
  • This is my first and last update. So I spoke to my sister again.
    via pettywoman_
  • She apologised for reacting that way the last time. Also for keeping it from me all these years. She said she didn't tell me because she knew I would ask her to choose, and
    via pettywoman_
  • she didn't want to be in that position. She said she never wanted to hurt me, but at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to walk away from the people who had been there for her.
    via pettywoman_
  • She said it never felt fair to cut him off completely. Growing up, our parents were barely around. They were always busy with work. And for a long time, it was just me and my ex
    via pettywoman_
  • who were actually present in her life. He was like family to her. Then she brought up the accident she was in around five years ago. I knew about it, of course.
    via pettywoman_
  • She had multiple fractures, hematomas, and internal bruising. She was in the hospital for a while and bedridden for weeks. I always assumed our parents were taking care of her. I never asked,
    via pettywoman_
  • and I never really checked in. I was too busy trying to manage a recent divorce, a small child, a career, and whatever was left of my mental health.
    via pettywoman_
  • She said it was my ex's wife who stepped up. She took her to every appointment, picked up prescriptions, brought food, helped her move around, stayed with her when she couldn't be alone. And at one point
    via pettywoman_
  • she said, "I know it hurts you, but she was there. He was there. You weren't. You didn't even come to the hospital. I thought I was gonna di e, and you didn't even show up."
    via pettywoman_
  • She cried while telling me all this. She said she still wants a relationship with me, but she's not going to cut them off. She also said she's fine with me not helping her with the loans anymore. She's
    via pettywoman_
  • planning to get a part- time job and figure it out herself. She told my ex and the wife about our conversation. Apparently they offered to help her financially, but she turned it down too.
    via pettywoman_
  • I just listened. Then I told her she's free to do whatever she wants. And so am I. And to never call me again. So that's where we are.
    via pettywoman_
  • groovymama98 I commented nta on the first post. And I still think nta. But the hospital info wasn't in the first post. I still
    via groovymama98
  • think taking the money and hiding her relationship was purposely deceptive, and she is a dishonest and manipulating person. You don't owe her financial subsidiation.
    via groovymama98
  • But any relationship of substance obligates people to check on hospitalized people. Especially if they have bedrest after being released. No matter what's going on in your own life.
    via groovymama98
  • It's all part of that love thing where we care about people because we love them. So, therefore, love causes us to be concerned and interested in the problems of those that we love.
    via groovymama98
  • Even with all you had going. on, your lack of interest in your sister's hospitalization implies you aren't really that close. So it doesn't seem as if there is a relationship to salvage.
    via groovymama98
  • SEcouture NTA People are missing the fact that the ex was there for the sister but couldn't be there for his child? hmmmmm
    via SEcouture

Tags

family drama student loans sibling rivalry affair wife petty revenge husband cheating divorce work wife sister financial support betrayal
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