New mom demands 21-year-old sister babysit her baby every day after work, sister stops visiting when new mom refuses to take no for an answer: ‘It's too much’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 22, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Anyone who is not a parent, but knows what it takes to be a parent is smart enough to be thankful for the quiet lifestyle they lead, having no kids. Even if you still plan on becoming a parent in the future (actually, especially if you want to become a parent), there is nothing wrong with enjoying the peace while you still can.

When you have nieces and nephews, you get to experience from extremely close quarters what it means to be a parent, while also having the luxury of returning to a quiet and clean home at the end of the night. And if you need a break from the chaos of the children, all you need to do is just… leave. They have their parents to take it from there; you owe them absolutely nothing.

Once you have a kid, peace and quiet become a rarity that is hard to come by, so it makes sense that parents latch onto those who are able to give it to them, like grandparents and babysitters. But they must remember that the responsibility is still on them, and not on anyone else, even if they really want it to be.

That is a reminder that the new mom in the story below gravely needs.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10529258752
    via Jayson Hinrichsen

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to help my sister with her baby every day after work?

    AITA for refusing to help my sister with her baby every day after work? I (21F) work full-time, every day except Sundays.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 03
    My sister (36F) recently had a baby, who is now five months old. I love my nephew and visit them whenever I can after work,
    via h4rpyhare
  • 04
    but it's usually a long trip and I get home around 9 p.m. when I go there. I live with my mom, and she doesn't like me taking showers after 9 p.m.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 05
    because of the noise. Even though I pay the water and electric bills, I try to avoid fights and respect that. My sister just returned from maternity leave and asked me to come help with the baby every day after work so she can shower and get things done.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 06
    I told her that it's difficult for me because of how late I get home and the problems it causes at home. I also mentioned that I'm usually exhausted after work and that going there daily would be too much.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 07
    She said it was fine, but then got really upset and started yelling at me. She brought up personal things, saying I can't keep a job and making me feel like I'm unreliable.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 08
    I was just trying to explain my situation, but she seemed to take it as an attack. Now I don't feel comfortable going to her house anymore, even though I care about her and the baby.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 09
    She has a husband and in-laws who could help her too, so I don't feel like it's fair for her to expect this much from me. Still, I worry that my family will think I'm being selfish or uncaring.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10529259008
    via Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    Victor-Grimm NTA-Where's dad? It's his job to help out. If he is not in the picture then that is your sister's problem.
    via Victor-Grimm
  • 12
    h4rpyhare OP Her husband works from 3 PM to 1 AM, so he takes care of the baby in the morning while my sister works a regular 9-to-5 job. But the baby's paternal grandparents literally live right upstairs. They could help her, but she says she "doesn't want to bother them by leaving the baby there for too long."
    via s
  • 13
    zaleli NTA. You did not have a baby. And, despite what she may say to the contrary, if it were you that had the baby, she would not adjust her life to
    via zaleli
  • 14
    accommodate your baby daily. And, if your mom can take your money for home expenses, she can allow you to shower when you need to. So much in this post...
    via zaleli
  • 15
    h4rpyhare OP I was going to explain even better, but my post would not be accepted. My sister was angry because my mother had promised that she would help clean the house and take care of the
    via h4rpyhare
  • 16
    baby, but she didn't. That's why she fought with me and said bad words to me. I have a borderline diagnosis and I don't work out at any work, but I try my best...
    via h4rpyhare
  • 17
    Useful Context_2602 NTA but time to look at moving out.
    via Useful_Context_2602
  • 18
    h4rpyhare OP Yes, I'm saving some money for this, but the rents here are very expensive, and the salary is very low.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 19
    Bouche_Audi_Shyla Yelling at someone while asking something as big as that really isn't the best plan.
    via Bouche_Audi_Shyla
  • 20
    h4rpyhare OP She yelled at me because my mother had promised to help her clean the house and take care of the baby, but she didn't. But I don't see the point in yelling at me or saying bad things, it's not my fault. I always helped when I could and gave clothes and diapers to the baby.
    via h4rpyhare
  • 21
    Designer_Camp_2269 You're an aunt. Not a free on-call babysitter for your nephew. You should be spending time with him because you want to, not because your sister is guilt tripping you. Where is nephew's dad in all this?
    via Designer_Camp_2269
  • 22
    Reasonable-Sale8611 Why do you need to go over there and help her? Why can't her husband help her? Also, if you have trouble keeping a job, then spending every evening
    via Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 23
    unable to have a shower is going to make it even more difficult for you to keep a job. Your responsibility to look after your own future is greater than
    via Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 24
    your responsibility to help your sister with hers. Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
    via Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 25
    Extension-Issue3560 NTA.....her ask is ridiculous, especially since she has a husband to help her. She is being very selfish of your time. Who cares what other people think.....let them go help her.
    via Extension-Issue3560

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family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting aunt family sister Reddit women parents children Father
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