Boss invited new hire to a 'casual dinner' at his house with him and his wife, confused employee contemplates whether they should accept: 'Is this weird?'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 17, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Is it just me, or dinners with bosses are something we used to see quite a lot in old TV shows and movies? It's not a strange concept for a boss and their spouse to invite a new hire over to their house for a get-to-know-each-other dinner. It sounds completely reasonable to me. 

That being said, if my boss were to ever invite me over to dinner at his house, I would probably look at him as if he had just grown three heads. Not only would the offer sound bizarre coming from him, but I legitimately do not want to spend three hours in a strange house, awkwardly making small talk with my boss and his spouse, whom I have never met. We do enough bonding in the office; there is no need to involve our personal lives as well. 

But what can you do if the boss invites you over? It's not like you can actually tell them no… Getting an offer like this from the boss is not something anyone can ignore, which leads employees like the one in the story below into a spiral.

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  • This employee was not sure if the offer from their boss was something they should worry about, so they decided to ask the internet. This led to a whole discussion about people's relationships with their bosses, so keep scrolling if you want to find out more.

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    Cheezburger Image 10530749696
    via Robert Kneschke

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    My boss invited me to a “casual” dinner at his house… with just his wife and me. Is this weird?

    I recently started a new job and things have been going pretty well. My boss is friendly, maybe a little too friendly at times, but nothing super off, until now.
    via Erolialuie
  • 03
    He invited me over for a "casual dinner" at his house. Said his wife would be there too and that they "love getting to know the
    via Erolialuie
  • 04
    team personally." Thing is... I'm the only one invited. No other coworkers, just me, him, and his wife.
    via Erolialuie
  • 05
    I don't know if I'm overthinking it, but it feels off. I'm pretty new, and this just doesn't seem normal. My gut says it's
    via Erolialuie
  • 06
    weird, but I also don't want to burn bridges or seem rade. Has anyone been in a situation like this? Am I being paranoid or is this actually sus?
    via Erolialuie
  • 07
    Bongalolo I still remember my first boss. cooked dinner for me after I was there a week. It cemented our working relationship which lasted many years even after I move to 2
    via Bongalolo
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    more countries. I thought it was incredibly kind too. And I still remember the invite, the drive there and the dinner. It was in 1976.
    via Bongalolo
  • 09
    Psycho_Pansy Have you asked coworkers if they have ever been invited to dinner before? Could be just a good way to get to know you outside of work.
    via Psycho_Pansy
  • 10
    iceterminal What you're experiencing is old school class.
    via iceterminal
  • 11
    hiroism4ever Not uncommon, I think you're overthinking unless you're leaving info out
    via hiroism4ever
  • 12
    bluewing_olive I feel like I saw this in a lot of movies from the 70s 80s and 90s. It's a kind gesture and a way to see what you're all about
    via bluewing_olive
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    Cheezburger Image 10530750208
    via JillWellington

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Pbtomjones How many people work for your company? I'm a partial owner of a really small company and my wife and I invite our new employees over from time to time and do larger groups dinners on big holidays.
    via Pbtomjones
  • 15
    We're in a smaller town and most of our employees are seasonal / temporary so we invite them over to make them feel welcome.
    via Pbtomjones
  • 16
    jpatt My dad was like this growing up. Except for new hires I think he'd usually take them out to a restaurant for dinner as a greeting after their first month or so.
    via jpatt
  • 17
    Eventually he'd maybe give you an invite to one of the backyard cookouts where things got wild...
    via jpatt
  • 18
    Its YourCousinArnie I had a boss that insisted on being friends outside of work. Then he judged everything about me. So there's that
    via ItsYourCousinArnie
  • 19
    Oceanbreeze871 Yes it's Normal. Yes it can be annoying. Personally I'd rather be taken to a restaurant during work hours for a "get to know you" and I don't care about
    via Oceanbreeze871
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    meeting a spouse. She's not part of the company...just there to get you to volunteer personal info. Treat it like you're at work cause you are. But yeah it's kinda old school
    via Oceanbreeze871
  • 21
    Monthra77 Not unheard of in a mom and pop operation. Had dinner with my old boss and his wife many times.
    via Monthra77
  • 22
    Intelligent-Mail-386 It's not weird! It happens sometimes, especially if your boss is of certain cultures, where dinner invitations are a sign of respect and appreciation.
    via Intelligent-Mail-386
  • 23
    If you feel weird about it, you can cancel or ask to bring somebody with you (a friend or a family member). I highly doubt there is a weird ulterior motive to this dinner, but obviously be careful lol
    via Intelligent-Mail-386

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boss workplace-stories employee manager job tales-from-the-workplace new hire reddit story ceo advice dinner workplace Reddit company business
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