Stepmother demands custody of her estranged 16-year-old stepson so she can have help babysitting his half-siblings; he refuses: 'She said she raised me for 9 years and should be allowed to 'keep me''

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jul 22, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

In a lot of families, being the oldest means that you're automatically the family babysitter. This stepmother, however, had an estranged relationship, not only with her 16-year-old stepson but with his father as well. Yet, regardless of her failed marriage and her poor relationship with the teen, she felt that 9 years spent helping raise the boy meant that she could garner full custody of a kid who isn't even hers. Why? Because she was really missing out on that free childcare with her two biokids…

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  • AITA for refusing to help my dad's wife with my half siblings now that he's MIA? My parents got divorced when I (16m) was 2. Until last year I split my time between them an equal amount. When I was 6 my dad
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  • remarried and had more kids with his wife. I never liked her much and we argued a lot. She hates my mom too, always did. Then last year a bunch of stuff changed. My dad was promoted and his base is
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  • now out of state. So he and mom agreed to change the custody schedule and she has me full time and I see him when he's "home". Him and his wife separated after that but they're still married and he
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  • goes to stay some weeks when he's "home" so I'm not sure what's going on there. But he's gone way more than he's there. His wife was pissed about the custody schedule with me
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  • changing and she tried to say she had raised me for 9 years and should be allowed to keep me in her and my half siblings' lives even if dad isn't always there. I didn't want to go so mom said no and dad was like whatever is fine by me.
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  • Since I turned 16 she's been more pushy about me being more involved in her household and not staying away when dad isn't around. She told me I should be helping out now because she's "essentially a single parent even if
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  • she's not". I really don't want to be around her and I told her I don't give a fuck about helping her. But she says I owe my family more and she's family whether I like it or not and so are my half siblings.
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  • I'm fine with my half siblings but not close and I don't need to see them more than I do. She's getting angrier at me and at mom because I won't help and
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  • won't spend a few hours or nights at her house when dad isn't there. She's even angrier that I told her she has no authority over me and my mom has custody now. When
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  • she brought up how she's been around most of my life I told her I never liked her and since it looks like her and dad are basically over I don't need to have anything more to do with her.
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  • She told me I'm disgusting for being so unhelpful and for turning my back on my family. I don't care what she thinks. But I know that this was harder on my half siblings and the last time I saw them they said they missed me. It was
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  • awkward because I don't miss them when I don't see them for months. But all they knew was me being there two weeks a month. Now I'm maybe there three weeks a year. AITA?
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  • South_Wrongdoer2... I'm guessing that she wants a co-parent, not even just babysitter. NTA
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  • Inevitable_Pie9541. She wants a stand-in husband, now your dad isn't around. You're 16, and that is not your job. I don't mean anything gross, more like chores, handyman stuff, watching her kids. What a husband/father would do. Not your responsibility, NTA.
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  • Wild_Billy_61 NTA.. She the parent of her children. You are not. I understand her struggle, but that struggle is not yours to share nor is helping parent/take care of you half- siblings or helping her with managing her home.
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  • Sad-Country-9873. NTA - but if she continues, it may be time to talk to dad or mom may need to get a lawyer or court involved. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for her and your dad's kids. You are a kid, not a babysitter. You are not the replacement daddy. She could have moved with your dad.
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  • Already, you probably get the sense that this family situation is a mess. And for someone who's always been the oldest in the family—with siblings, cousins, and whatever other kids decided to come to the family cookout—I'm no stranger to the obligatory babysitting. 

    However, this teen never even liked his stepmom, and from the beginning, she was never a parent to him. So when his Dad got a job out of state, he went to live full time with his biomother—only to have his stepmom breathing down his neck in response, hoping to get a piece of his free labor in return for her “hospitality” towards him during his childhood.

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