Teen son refuses to apologize for his ‘part’ in his father missing the birth of his half-brother, who was born while the teen and his dad were having quality bonding time away from his stepmom

Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10531560448
  • "AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother?"

    When I (17m) was 9 my momd d from c er. Six months after mom d d my dad met Laura and they moved in together and got
  • married 7 months later. My dad forgot about me in all of this. Before Laura he was depr sed all the time and almost never left
  • the couch. Then once he "got out there" and met her he focused on marrying her superfast. It made me resentful because I felt like he didn't care about me, just himself. It took him and Laura
  • telling me she was pregnant and me storming out of the house when I was 11 for him to start questioning stuff. He followed me
  • all the way to my uncle's house and asked me why I stormed off and wasn't excited. I ranted at him and took out all my frustration on him in the walk back to the house.
  • He promised he'd do better but then his focus was on Laura and the new baby and Laura was about ready to give birth when he told me he hated me pulling away
  • and not being excited and said he'd do anything to fix our relationship. So I told him he needed to give me time where he didn't talk about Laura or the
  • baby r cancel because of one of them. I said he needed to prove he meant what he said. I told him one time wasn't enough either.
  • Our first two were days weren't great and he answered several calls from Laura. The third time I told him it was his last chance and he ignored a couple of calls
  • before reading a text from her that she was gone into labor. He asked if his third chance would be up if he went to the hospital and I said yes. So he stayed for a
  • while but then he said I'd need to forgive him at some point and he left me with my grandparents and uncle and got to the hospital but Laura had given birth by then.
  • Laura hated me for it. I didn't get over it like dad expected me to and I saw that our relationship would never be the same and that he wasn't the same person
  • as he was before mom d d. I know losing someone you love does that. I changed when mom got sick and when she did too. But my dad turned into someone
  • so different. He stopped reading the room and just acted so naive or even dumb. Like when all he would talk about was Laura and the baby and even when I never engaged he still wouldn't ask if I
  • was okay. And after missing the birth and what I/we had talked about about him bailing on me, he acted like everything was fine. He kept trying to make me hold
  • the baby and would ask me why I wasn't excited and talked about the baby but never addressed the fact I said if he left I wouldn't forgive him and he left early anyway.
  • Cheezburger Image 10531565056
  • He also acted like he had no idea why Laura was so angry at me and why she refused to interact with me after that. He'd say we were a family and that I was the
  • best big brother. He told her he was the happiest he had ever been and he never loved anyone more than her or my half brother.
  • I was standing right there when he said it and when I stormed off he played dumb about why that would be.
  • I distanced myself more while Laura wanted me around even less. Then at the end of last year she told dad to send me to live somewhere else and dad decided we all needed therapy. We
  • started in March and only dad talked for months. The therapist would ask me and Laura questions but we didn't answer. She broke first and a month ago
  • she talked about her issues and how angry she was that I had made dad choose between saving his relationship with me and being there for her and my
  • half brother when my half brother was born. She said at some point she had hoped and expected me to be remorseful but I never was and I was the reason dad missed
  • the birth. The therapist asked why she'd blame me instead of dad and she said because I manipulated dad to ignore them because I was hurt he'd moved on.
  • It took me a couple more weeks to say anything but when the therapist asked me if I would ever apologize for what happened I said no and when she asked why I said because I didn't feel bad
  • about it. I said that day just showed me that nothing was going to change and dad wasn't the parent I knew before mom d d. And that I didn't feel bad that he missed the birth. That he
  • was the one who decided when we spent time together. I was just the one who said he couldn't cancel on me a bunch because he was always acting like Laura and the baby were the only two who mattered. Laura told me at
  • 11 I should have known babies need more time and that becoming a parent is exciting and that dad needed to be there more than he needed to fix things with me.
  • When I refused to apologize she said she did not want me living with her or her kids because she doesn't want them becoming like me or picking on my hatred for her and dad and my indifference to them. She said I'm almost an
  • adult and should feel guilty and apologize but clearly I'm without a conscience. My dad sat through all of those discussions over two weeks and still acted naive and dumb. AITA?
  • kirinspeaks NTA. You're a kid, he's the adult, this is entirely on him.
  • Comprehensive Put5569 NTA - Laura is a selfish, immature ah le to hold a grudge against a child. She's a person and I'm sorry your dad didn't protect you better.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article