Roommate's boyfriend does laundry at her apartment multiple times a week, roommate gets offended when asked to stop him: 'He takes over the washer and drier for hours '

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 19, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It takes work to achieve the status of being an acceptable roommate, particularly if you aren't that close with the people you live with. In theory, it is simple enough—don't be too dirty or loud, and don't make a habit of stealing food from the kitchen. However, there is a stunning number of individuals who seem incapable of understanding these basic courtesies.

Things get even more complicated when outside influences like romantic partners join the equation. Many a manageable roommate situation has soured because of an annoying significant other. 

It seems mean to demand a ban on somebody that a roommate is close to, but sometimes, it is the only way to get the problems to stop. Unless they are a part of the tenancy agreement, they are a guest in the house. It is important that they don't overstep the boundaries of this, no matter how convenient they may find it.

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  • 01

    AITA for asking my roommate’s boyfriend to stop bringing his laundry over?

    I (28F) live in a two-bedroom apartment with my roommate Kara (26F). We've been living together for almost a year. We're not super close friends, but we generally get along and respect each other's space. We both work full-time and split chores evenly. Recently, Kara's boyfriend Liam (27M) has been coming over more often. He doesn't live with us, but he's around about 3 to 4 nights a week. I didn't say much about it at first because he's polite and keeps to himself. But then I noticed our washin
    via Vibeey
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10531741440
    via Nik (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • For one woman, her roommate's boyfriend was clearly overstepping these boundaries with his habit of doing laundry at their apartment. Although he didn't live there, he visited several times a week and almost every time overtook the washer and dryer for hours.

    She addressed this with her roommate, asking that he stop with this behavior. However, the roommate became defensive and implied it was not her place to ask such a thing. She wanted to know if she had done something wrong.

  • 03
    At first, I thought it was just a one-time thing, but it became a regular occurrence. He brings over huge loads, takes over the washer and dryer for hours, and once even left his wet clothes sitting there for half the day while Kara wasn't home. So, I finally brought it up with Kara. I asked if she could talk to him about stopping this whole laundry situation since he doesn't live here and it's becoming a hassle for me. I even suggested that if he's going to keep using our machines, maybe he sho
    via Vibeey
  • 04
    Kara got really defensive and said I was being petty and overreacting. She said, "It's just laundry," and implied that because I don't pay more rent than her, I don't have a say in who uses what. I tried to explain that it wasn't just about the rent; it's the fact that her boyfriend is basically using our apartment as a second home without contributing anything. So, everyone? AITA
    via Vibeey
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    Cheezburger Image 10531741952
    via Elena Helade (Unsplash+)
  • 06

    People advised her on how to proceed with the situation.

    Fairmount1955 NTA. "Ok, Kara. How much rent does he pay? And where is his name on the lease? I understand he's your partner and you need to understand this is my home. It's disappointing you think a man who doesn't live here should take priority over a person who does." And then if made it weird back for them.
    via Fairmount1955
  • 07
    honeyblush210 OP sound super reasonable. She didn't say "he can't come over" OP just said, hey maybe don't treat our place like his dorm room laundry lounge.
    via honeyblush210
  • 08
    Just_Beautiful_69 Absolutely agree !!!You laid it out in a fair and thoughtful way.... Sometimes when personal relationships blend into shared living spaces, people lose sight of the basics: this is a home shared between the people who signed the lease and pay the bills, not an open space for third parties to use without any responsibility...... This isn't about being selfish or dramatic over a washing machine ...it's about setting healthy boundaries. IIf someone who doesn't live there is regula
    via Just_Beautiful_69
  • 09
    girlwiththemonkey Your power bill is definitely gonna go up, and I would just take his sh out of the machine when I found it. Kara doesn't pay more than you for rent and he pays none, so who's she to stop you? NTA
    via girlwiththemonkey
  • 10
    notthemama58 If he's using their supplies too boot, he needs to pay for that as well. If this convo doesn't take any effect, the detergent, fabric softener, dryer sheets, etc, won't be kept in the laundry area. That stuff alone is expensive as sin.
    via notthemama58
  • 11
    Few Arugula5903 if he's staying there more nights than not, he owes rent. Tbh I'd check your lease bc there's likely something in there about guests. Anyone staying that often would be considered breaking most leases and also u need to be careful be he could have legal residency if he tries. As far as the laundry, tell her the utilities are going to be split 3 ways now and she and her bf can pay theor 2/3 of the electricity/hhw. It's absurd tbh. Also, there needs to be days worked out bc you sho
    via Few_Arugula5903
  • 12
    Odd Welcome7940 Buy a 10 dollar trash can... next time he leaves clothes in the way take them out place them in the can. Set them in her room. Move on. Problem solved. NTA Also, if I had a partner staying over that often and the only complaint was that them doing laundry annoyed my roommate I would be grateful. That is a pretty tiny complaint for something that could get so much messier.
    via Odd_Welcome7940
  • 13
    sohereiamacrazyalien NTA. he is there half of the time and brings a lot of laundry. hours suggests he doesn't even do short cycles. so yeah that's an annoyance and money spent.
    via sohereiamacrazyalien
  • 14
    mcmurrml Nip this in the bud now.
    via mcmurrml
  • 15
    SapphireEyesOf94 NTA. If he wants to meet bringing laundry over, he picks one day a week (so that the actual tenants can still use THEIR machine), and he pitches in for the electricity, water and laundry detergent and conditioner. Otherwise no. It's no different to some random guy coming in off the street to use it.
    via SapphireEyesOf94
  • 16
    Vivid-Farm6291 Why do roommates think their partners have just as much say as someone who actually pays rent? I also wonder if the shoe was reversed if Kara would also get upset she can't use the facilities she pays for. OP read your lease and find out if the bf is even allowed to be there that often and tell Kara the utilities are now split three ways because her bf is another body in this apartment. NTA
    via Vivid-Farm6291
  • 17
    Hefty-Squirrel-6800 NTA. That is why they make laundromats.
    via Hefty-Squirrel-6800
  • 18
    Iliketo_voyeur Two things, one, restrict the time he stays there to no more than two nights, two, no more laundry as they are the most energy consuming machines running. Hence why he brings them over. Your electricity bill will increase noticeably so no you're not being petty at all. Your roommate is selfish.
    via Iliketo_voyeur
  • 19
    frenziedmonkey NTA at all. You can reasonably expect to be able to access your own facilities and to not have to pay someone else's utility bills. Added to this it sounds like he may have a key. All of this should have been discussed and cleared by you before it started. She may be breaching lease terms - hers and by extension yours.
    via frenziedmonkey
  • 20
    Itoka00 NTA. Dump his clothes in a bag next time you want to do laundry and put it in her room.
    via Itoka00
  • 21
    ShotBad5603 Start leaving your laundry in the washer before he comes over and then leave. Do it with Stuff you do not care about as it will be damaged.
    via ShotBad5603
  • 22
    irishstorm04 Pull his clothes out while wet, or unfinished. Tell him you have to get yours done and you have nowhere else to go to do yours because... this is YOUR home. If he is halfway decent, he may get it.
    via irishstorm04

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boyfriend laundry dryer aita relationships washing machine argument reddit thread Reddit roommates entitled people
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