28-year-old refuses to help mom with rent after she lied to him about bio dad bailing, turns out he would have loved to be a parent if he only knew: "I feel cheated"

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 7, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. We all have white lies we tell. Maybe it's telling your mother-in-law that her homemade meatloaf is the best you've ever had. Maybe it's telling your boyfriend that you love when they wear their perfectly white shoes outside. Maybe it's lying to your friend about their dating life when you can see they're a complete mess. Most people tell little white lies that cost nothing to either party, like bailing on someone or lying about food preferences. It really becomes a problem when the little white lie is actually a really big lie that hurts people. 
 

In the story below, the protagonist is subject to a big lie that shook his world. He always thought his mother was a single mom raising him. Turns out he has a dad, and this man would have gone above and beyond to be a father to him. How would you feel if you found out your mother was lying to you? Read the full story for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not financially helping my mum after finding out a secret she kept from me for over 20 years?

    "It's a lot to take when your own mother lied to you your whole life”
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (28M) just learned something that completely reversed my relationship with my mum (54F). I always thought we were close. She was a single parent who raised me on her own after my "dad" left us when I was just a
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222

  • I have no idea how this kid can get past a lie like this. It really crosses boundaries, and reveals so much about his mother. He must feel like she's a stranger now. It can be so dissociating to find out about a big lie like this, and it could affect their relationship forever. 

  • 03
    baby. She told me he had nothing to do with us. We were not rich when I was a kid, and I've always had a lot of respect for what she did for us. I took money to pay for uni, worked part-time, and
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 04
    now that I have a decent job and some savings, I've been helping her every now and then with groceries, bills etc.
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 05
    Anyways... a few weeks ago, I got a message on (my very active) Facebook from a man who I didn't know. First I thought it was a joke or scam or something when it read "I think I could be
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 06
    FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE HB 39109172 R B2 Thom Cabedestal 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NO FG 72897301 G7 TO STATE RENT PAYMENT Anne Lacobel's Behal M00 UNITE DO CDCD 48 D 100 DO L 82621250 C 田 100 ED DOLLAR
    via pixelshot / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    your dad". But he sent me photos of him and my mum when they were younger. My resemblance to him was close too.
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 08
    I confronted my mum, to which she started to cry and admitted that, yes, he was actually my father. She never told him she was pregnant, so he left. He had
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 09
    no idea that I existed at all until recently when we probably saw my baby pics on FB or our old mutual friend's statuses put together. Idk if/when to meet him though. He seems nice, stable
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 10
    and I assume married with kids. Our text messages were quite long and detailed, and personal hence excluded them from this post. He says how he would've
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 11
    been there, would've raised me. I get emotional thinking about it in my head,
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 12
    but this is where the conflict starts my mum just got fired prior to my dad messaging me. She asked if I could help pay her rent for a few months, and I said no.
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 13
    I told her I needed space, I mean it's a lot to take in when your own mother had just been lying to you for your entire life and kept me from a father who loved me.
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 14
    Obviously, no mother is perfect, but I felt cheated. Ok, she was young and maybe in over her head, but she stole a relationship with my dad from me. How can she expect my help like nothing has happened?
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 15
    I'm not cutting her off forever though!! Just don't think I owe her money now, especially not when I still need to try and make sense of it all.
    via u/Delicious_Arm8222
  • 16
    23:13 App Stor Microsoft Teams Welcome to Microsoft Teams! A happier place for teams to work together. Sign-in address Sign in Get help with signing in Sign up for free
    via Natee Meepian / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 17
    Moon-berry-Splas... • 20h ago Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair. Take the time you need.
    via u/Moon-berry-Splash16
  • 18
    Sparklingwine23 • 20h ago NTA, you definitely deserve time and space to process all of this. Aside from denying you a right to have a dad in your childhood and life, her secret also kept
    via u/Sparklingwine23
  • 19
    medical history from you that could have had a huge impact on your life. She also deprived your dad of knowing he had a child for nearly 3 decades!
    via u/Sparklingwine23
  • 20
    Lambsenglish • 20h ago From what you've written though give her more time. to explain herself as well.
    via u/Lambsenglish
  • 21
    She went through this alone for a reason. There's a reason she didn't tell him. It might be a better reason
    via u/Lambsenglish
  • 22
    than you think, and she now has to juggle whether to double down and tell you, or let it pass.
    via u/Lambsenglish

Tags

family drama drama toxic lying family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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