Boyfriend refuses to marry the mother of his 2 children who he's been with for 6 years: 'If he doesn’t propose before December 31st, I am leaving'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

I don't understand the idea of building a life with somebody that you refuse to marry. If you're on the same page about not wanting a big wedding or a whole to do, that's great, but you're not being smart if you neglect to protect yourself legally within a union. If you buy a house with your boyfriend and both of your names are on the mortgage, and you break up, it's going to be a complete mess. If he stops paying his part of the mortgage, you're going to be legally liable for the whole some. If the same scenario happens with your husband, the law will protect you more and make sure marital assets are split in an even way. If you're merely boyfriend and girlfriend, you're on your own, kid. Not to mention, a mortgage can be a 15 or 30 year commitment. If you can commit to that, you can commit "till death do us part."

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  • The boyfriend in this story has a house and two kids with his girlfriend, and can't commit to marry her. They don't need to go on the Netflix show The Ultimatum, they need to break up because they clearly want different things.

  • 01

    WIBTAH For leaving my boyfriend of 6 years for not marrying me?

    For context, we have been together for 6 years. We have two children, a mortgage, the works. I've stressed how much I want to get married and he keeps saying "well get to it" or "we've been so busy" etc. I work full time, make sure all of the housework is done, all bills are paid, do everything with/for the kids and dogs. I've
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10536059392
    via Kübra Arslaner (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    literally cried to him about feeling sad that he won't marry me. I even offered to go to the courthouse and get married (which is never what I wanted, but would've settled for) instead and he said we would, but would never take a day off to do it. I feel embarrassed when people ask me why we are not married or when we are going to get married.
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 04
    Would I be the a**hole for leaving him over not getting married? EDIT: Just wanted to clarify a few things. We already share finances. I don't want a big fancy wedding so the issue isn't money. I don't want any of his sh, I make plenty of my own money. The only thing
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10536056832
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    I want and ever wanted is to be his wife. I won't propose because I know that if I did he would say no. He always told me that. If it was "just a piece of paper" like so many of you are saying then why is it such an issue to just go sign it?
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 07
    Edit #2: He has been saying lately that he does want to get married, but still hasn't proposed, bought a ring, or made any plans. He told me the other night that we should go to the courthouse and get married so that I can have health insurance. His work also
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 08
    asked me to sign something stating we are common law married but I refused. I feel like we can either be married or nothing. I feel like I am starting to resent him for this. I have decided that if he doesn't propose before Dec 31 I am leaving. Enough is enough.
    via u/Realistic_Heart_2744
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10536035072
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    No-Gain4575 He will not marry you, yet he will marry someone else about 5 minutes after you leave. Once you understand and accept this as a fact, leave.
    via u/No-Gain4575
  • 11
    Actual-Offer-127 This is 100% true! The first person he dates after she leaves his a he will marry after a couple months.
    via u/Actual-Offer-127
  • 12
    ADerbywithscurvy Gotta lock the next one down so she doesn't escape. Three of my exes did that... I don't make babies I make husbands. Probably mediocre ones, but still.
    via u/ADerbywithscurvy
  • 13
    JariaDnf NTA - Sorry but, he doesn't want to marry you. Move on and find something real with someone willing to commit to you. This man isn't going to.
    via u/JariaDnf
  • 14
    Edit: For all of you guys on the "BUT HE'S COMMITTED" train... Spousal legal protections is a real and important thing. There are rights and legal protections that spouses have that cohabitating partners do not. Why do you think the LGBT community has fought so hard for the right to marry?
    via u/JariaDnf
  • 15
    All that aside though, to OP this is a deep need, deep enough that she would leave him if that need is not fulfilled. If her partner is truly committed and marriage is "just a piece of paper" (it's not), like some of you say, then he should have no hesitation about fulfilling this need of hers.
    via u/JariaDnf
  • 16
    Aunt_Claira Please see an attorney BEFORE you say anything to him. You own a house, you have children so now it's real complicated. Once you've gotten the attorneys advice, let bf know you're done. Be prepared for love bombing and him getting friends and family to accuse you of breaking up a family. He may try to convince you to get married now, right away. Do you really want to marry someone who had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the altar? This is not love. You deserve love. Real love.
    via u/Aunt_Claira
  • 17
    Aimster0204 Agree with this. A good lawyer can help you prepare to leave too - financially. My guess is this guy doesn't want to marry you (I'm sorry about that)but he also does not want to pay child support or wants to pay to live on his own. Preparation is key here.
    via u/Aimster0204
  • 18
    ellefleming I have an "uncle" who played this game with my aunt for years. He was taken care of, loved her I guess, but did not want to pay child support. He would threaten to take the children to be raised by HIS mother if he and my aunt couldn't get along because he did NOT want to pay child support. Your common law husband is finking out of being a husband to get all the benefits. Consult an attorney and move on from him cause he's a child enabled by everyone.
    via u/ellefleming
  • 19
    AchievementBlocked Yeaaaahhhhh this is what I was thinking because I was with a guy like this (we had no ties other than a lease, thank f ). I was with him for 7 years. Didn't even get a cheap ring out of it. Practically begged him. Of course that all changed once I kicked him out of the flat and he came crying to me saying he had it aaaall lined up for my birthday (pppffffttt!!!!) And all the that would have worked before, but by that point, I was completely over his bulls
    via u/AchievementBlocked
  • 20
    Humoresque8 YWBTA to yourself if you don't leave him. You have literally begged this man to marry you and he still hasn't. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "why buy the cow if you're getting the milk for free?" You have to stop sacrificing your self-respect and love you more than you love him.
    via u/Humoresque8
  • 21
    He isn't going to marry you because you're providing him with all the benefits of the married life without the legal commitment. You should leave altogether and not pursue this relationship any further, because honestly, why would you want to marry a person who does not want to marry you?
    via u/Humoresque8
  • 22
    Traditional-Ad2319 What I don't understand is how any woman would be happy marrying a man she has to beg to do it? What's the point of that?
    via u/Traditional-Ad2319
  • 23
    ranchojasper I've never been in this position but I imagine it's just deep, deep denial. I imagine she just keeps convincing herself that there's some "reason" that he won't marry her, and if she could just find the right equation to solve that reason, he'll want to marry her. Because facing the fact that he is literally just waiting to find someone better so he can leave heris too much to face when you've spent this many years with a person and had children with them and are on a mortgage with
    via u/ranchojasper
  • 24
    RedneckDebutante Women need to stop doing this bulls. Why on earth would you have children or buy a house before he married you if marriage was your goal? You gave him all the benefits of marriage without any of the obligations. There's no undoing kids or a mortgage and there's no leaving and never seeing him again with kids. NTA except to yourself. Take your stand.
    via u/RedneckDebutante
  • 25
    State_Of_Franklin Not just women. Not a person in the world should consider a mortgage with a partner they're not married to. How can you commit to a 30 year mortgage but not a marriage?
    via u/State_Of_Franklin

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boyfriend marry me marriage married couple kids mother getting married reddit story girlfriend mortgage couples little kids Reddit mom married children couple
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