Incoming college student wins local scholarship, cousin reprimands him for not reminding her to apply: 'She told our aunt that I was being sneaky'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 2, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

As with most things, going to college is an experience where you will get out of it as much as you put into it. Most of the time, those who go the extra mile to find the opportunities that are going to make their time in higher education easier and better are the ones who get rewarded for it, not those who spend their time ignoring this and hoping for the best.

This may be bad news for those who want to attract and not chase, but it has been the rules of the game for some time. While it is possible for other people to jeopardize that, more often than not, it is the individual complaining about missing out who is at fault for not making the effort to take steps towards their goals. It is a lesson a lot of people have to learn, and college is often a good time for that.

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  • 01

    AITA for not reminding my cousin to apply for the scholarship we both qualified for?

    I just finished my first year of university. Before the school year started, I applied for a local scholarship that's awarded to incoming freshmen who meet a certain GPA and live in our county. It's not huge, but it helped cover books and some living expenses.
    via Worldly_Brain6180

  • One girl didn't feel like this when her cousin won a scholarship that she had wanted to apply for, but didn't. The scholarship had been advertised at the career center of the high school that they both attended.

    She felt that he had been sneaky, but he maintained that he thought she already knew about it. He wanted to know if he had done something wrong.

  • 02
    POTBALL
    via Alex Lujan

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    My cousin and I graduated from the same high school and were both eligible for the scholarship. I found out about it through a flyer at our school's career center and applied a few days later. A few weeks after the deadline passed, my cousin found out I had won the scholarship and got upset. She asked why I didn't tell her about it or remind her to apply. I said I assumed she already knew or had seen the same flyer since we went to the same school.
    via Wordly_Brain6180
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10537406464
    via Juli Kosolapova

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    She told our aunt that I was being "sneaky" and "competitive" by keeping it to myself. Now a few family members think I should've helped her out, especially since we're close in age and it wouldn't have hurt me to remind her. But to be honest, I didn't think it was my responsibility. I handled my own applications and deadlines. She has a phone, a laptop, and the same access to resources that I did. Everyone, AITJ?
    via Worldly_Brain6180
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10537406976
    via Martin Adams
  • 07

    Other people reassured him that it wasn't his responsibility.

    CottonCandy76548 Not the J OP - You said it. You both go to the same school and have access to the same things. It might have been nice to let her know, but you are not her parent or her school counselor. What do your parents think of all this?
    via CottonCandy76548
  • 08
    tiax2 OP's not responsible for her academic planning. they're classmates, not co-managers of each other's lives.
    via tiax2
  • 09
    pixel_master619 For real! it's not OP's job to babysit someone else's deadlines. Like yeah, giving a heads-up might've been a nice gesture but at the end of the day, this is college-level responsibility we're talkin' about. Everyone had the same access and same opportunities. If the cousin missed the boat, that's kinda on her. Blaming OP just feels like misplacing frustration, y'know?
    via pixel_mater619
  • 10
    rosespitvenom classic case of "you didn't fail with me so now I'm mad." she's embarrassed she missed out and wants someone else to blame. don't take that on, she's someone to blame not you.
    via rosespitvenom
  • 11
    frstoe fr some ppl hear "you didn't remind me" and turn it into "you sabotaged me" like girl what?? we had the same info lol.
    via frstoe
  • 12
    common_sense_daily Congratulations on being sharp, And fast. An opportunity presented itself and you jumped on it. She had the same opportunity and you are not her parent... you are not responsible to advise her of everything you see and experience.
    via common_sense_daily
  • 13
    redditexplorer787 NTJ You're not her minder and there's no obligation on your part.
    via redditexplorer787
  • 14
    Spirited-Ad6144 The fact that she couldn't even bother to apply and didn't give it the importance it deserved, shows that she actually didn't deserve the scholarship.
    via Spirited-Ad6144
  • 15
    Skeggy- NTA. I'd be mocking her by reminding her in front of the aunt everyday that tomorrow is a school day and to make sure her homework is done. Don't wanna get blamed for not reminding someone of their deadlines again.
    via Skeggy-
  • 16
    Right_Cucumber5775 If you're asked, remind everyone you're both the same age, entering adulthood, and she was just as capable of seeing what was available and applying as you. You are not her parent.
    via Right_Cucumber5775
  • 17
    Perfect-Day-3431 Just ignore them, you are not your cousins parent so it's not up to you to take on the parents role of reminding them to do things.
    via Perfect-Day-3431
  • 18
    Aggravating-Pin-8845 You are not there to hold her hand. She needs to look into these things on her own. Tell her to grow up
    via Aggravating-Pin-8845
  • 19
    FlashyHabit3030 NTJ. It's not your responsibility to make sure your cousin is aware of everything. Cousin's upset because she missed the deadline which is not your responsibility.
    via FlashyHabit3030
  • 20
    Swedeinne NTJ. You were showing why you deserve the scholarship and she did not. You were proactive responsible and took care of things. She wasn't she expected help. she showed a lack of independence that will not help her when she gets to college. At some point, you need to grow up and be an adult and independent you are, she is not.
    via Swedeinne
  • 21
    LibraryMouse4321 How were you supposed to know that she didn't apply for the scholarship? If you saw it and applied, you could have assumed that she did as well.
    via LibraryMouse4321
  • 22
    Existing_Radio9103 If the scholarship was meant for everyone with a certain gpa and that was it they would have raffled it at the school and entered every student with a good gpa. The point of applying is that most people can't remember let alone be bothered, she is mad because she didn't think she would win, she probably didn't think you would win and it wasn't important to her. Till you won and she then realized she could have just applied and had a chance to win. This gal lacks accountability
    via Existing_Radio9103

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family drama aita family reddit thread Reddit application college college student entitled people cousin scholarship
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