Selfish stepmother, Kathleen, and stepbrother refuse to eat anywhere due to their picky food requirements, 22-year-old stepson excludes them from birthday dinner: 'My restaurant didn't meet their needs'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 11, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Listen, picky eater's aren't our favorite types of friends…especially not for passionate foodies like ourselves.

But sometimes we can sympathize, when it comes specific allergies, or coriander…but other than that, when the people around us are constantly in complaint-mode about anything other than a dry, old piece of bread, it becomes a bit more of a drag!

Sometimes, I genuinely think being a picky eater comes with a lack of open-mindedness, and not just because my mom taught me to use chopsticks by eating capers at the age of six, but because the 'agh, but the texture' excuse can only be used so many times!!

When this stepmother and her 18-year-old son constantly try to control the family's food choices due to their own picky eating habits, the stepson refuses to let his birthday dinner turn into one of their trainwrecks with more requirements than one could count. So, when he tells them he'll be choosing the restaurant, whether they attend or not, and all of their out-of-state family suddenly want to attend, the family feud turns the milk sour and the bread stale. 

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  • Eventually, when a family member makes everything about themselves and their needs, someone will likely get fed up and start to exclude them and their ‘requirements’ from family occasions… 

    First it's the ‘cake is too dry, the milk is too wet' than it's, ‘the sky is too blue, the restaurant's too new!"

    Okay Kathleen! Than stay home?!

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    AITA for picking a restaurant for my birthday dinner that "did not meet the needs and requirements" of my dad's wife and her son?

    My dad got married to Kathleen when I (22m) was 15. Kathleen has two kids. A daughter I never met. I think she's in her late 20s or early 30s. And then she has son Benjamin (18m).
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    Benjamin is allergic to peanuts and shellfish. On top of that him and Kathleen are very picky eaters. His diet when I lived there consisted of pizza, fries and burgers and beef and cheese
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    tacos. He didn't eat fruits or vegetables. He didn't eat any meat except for beef. He'd eat chocolate and ice cream and stuff though. And he was SO bad at checking labels and he had a few
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    allergic reactions while we lived together. One time he had to be rushed to the hospital and spent a week in because he had such a bad reaction.
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    Kathleen's super picky too. I can't remember all the stuff she wouldn't eat but it included any kind of fish, any kind of potato, rice, pasta, bread and stuff like that.
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    This left us in a really weird position when my dad wanted to order takeout or take us out to eat. We had a couple of fast food places where Kathleen ordered salad and Benjamin ordered pizza
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    and burgers usually. The food was never great but could've been worse. I think the part that sucked was every time we ordered out for my birthday or went out for
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    my birthday it was one of the two places we had. Even a Taco place was out unless they'd remove all veggies and extras except for the meat and cheese. And some
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    places still put "gross s t" to quote Benjamin on them when they did seemingly comply. Anytime still they want to do a family meal out they expect us all to go to their chosen fast food
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    places that work for Benjamin and Kathleen and I'm tired of dealing with them (they're insufferable about how others eat too) so I never go.
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    A few weeks ago I had a birthday dinner with my girlfriend and some family and friends. Dad wanted to come and he expected Kathleen and Benjamin to be invited too. I told him that was
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    okay if they'd eat where I had chosen. I got an email from Kathleen and calls from dad where I was told my restaurant of choice did not meet the needs and requirements of Benjamin
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    and Kathleen and would me and the rest of the guests travel out of state for a dinner for my birthday so we could go to one of Benjamin and Kathleen's choices.
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    My answer was no and I told dad he could still come but I was not changing where I have MY birthday dinner. Kathleen sent another email asking why I was being so hostile like her daughter
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    and I should care about my family's health and interests. Dad and Kathleen were more upset to learn some of dad's side flew out to join us for dinner
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    when they typically won't accept plans from them to eat out. So now I'm facing more of their anger for my choice of restaurant. AITA?
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    Swampy_63 Kathleen sounds like A LOT.
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    Prestigious-Menu-128 OP She is. And I used to love people's reactions to her when they were first having any kind of meal with her. It was comical in the best and worst kind of way. Nobody comes close to her.
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    13surgeries The real allergies should be considered, but seriously, Benjamin can't be bothered to pick a few shreds of lettuce off a taco? He and Kathleen aren't just picky eaters. They're controlling.
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    Humblefreindly Was Ben kicked in the head by a horse during his formative years?
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    Prestigious-Menu-128 OP No but he apparently was kicked out of many restaurants.
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    Late-Judge8847 Your birthday, your choice of restaurant. If they can't handle a restaurant then they shouldn't go. Their actions, their consequences. Nta, happy birthday!
    via Late-Judge8847

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Tags

requirements step parents decisions step siblings allergies birthday eaters out-of-state controlling selfish restaurant parenting fussy stand-up-to dinner memebase family picky step mom step-brother
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