Penny-counting wealthy woman asks 20-year-old college student sister to watch her puppy for 3 weeks for free, then refuses to pay for her groceries during her stay: ‘[I] will otherwise be losing money’

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    [Am I wrong] for expecting my sister to pay for our groceries while we watch their dog for three weeks?

    'When they realize how much a pro would charge... they will probably reconsider being stingy about the groceries.'
    via Rockaa
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    My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) are currently watching my sister (35F) and her husband (39M)'s dog for three weeks during summer holidays while they're away. We stay in their house for the time. The dog is adorable, but still a puppy, so he's quite a
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    handful. We have to walk him (according to their schedule) every 2/3 hours, he needs mental stimulation and we have to watch him closely the whole time as he will otherwise eat/jump on anything.
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    My bf and I are both students with resits at the beginning of August, so we both are trying to study a bit while we are here. We live on our own, so while we are staying here, we are still paying the bills for our own
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    apartment. I work 10 hours a week, he's still looking for a job after he got laid off beginning of May. So at the moment, we have quite some expenses (university tuition and books, our own apartment (rent, gas, light, etc).), and neither of us is supported by our parents. We have watched their dog before and never asked for any money.
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    Puppy playing with dog toy
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    While it would be nice, we're not doing it for money and genuinely just to help them out. We love the dog, I love my sister, so I don't mind doing it at all. There's some frustration here and there, but we always manage to figure it out. Now to the issue.
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    Due to the dog being a bit of a menice, we can't go out longer than 1, and tops 2, hours. So doing groceries at the nearest store is not doable due to the time, and weekly groceries isn't doable for one person (carrying drinks, etc for a long way). My sister offered to order groceries
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    for us, (and also told our parents this would be the case). We assumed that meant for the entire stay, as we're not asking for anything else and we don't get anything out of this, while we're watching their dog and house. However, she just placed
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    our order and send me a message asking me to pay her back for the groceries. I didn't include anything in the order I wouldn't have done otherwise, however the shop they order from is over twice as expensive as the shop my bf and I go to at home (they also have a store here).
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    Additionally, both my sister and their husband work full time and have a high position at a bank. Their garden is bigger than the entire apartment that my bf and me rent, and their house would easily be considered a villa. It's not a secret that they have quite a bit of money.
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    So, A A for expecting them to pay our groceries? She said they would (apparently only meant the first time, which totalled up to about 20 euros as she said we can always order more), and also I feel it would be fair as a small thank you for doing this?
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    Woman training dog outside
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    EDIT: we're not being paid anything, we do this, and have done this, because they're family
    via Straight_Leg_5243
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    SoMuchMoreEagle 13h ago • NTA But you all really should have worked this out beforehand more clearly.
    via SoMuchMoreEagle
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    Hote... 13h ago Edited 13h ago . . NTA. Show your sister the responses you get on this post. You are doing her a MAJOR favor and she should have at least paid for that round of groceries, if not a couple more.
    via HotelPuzzleheaded514
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    Most pet sitters cost 30-100 a day. Nobody would put as much work as you are putting in for this for the amount of time you are.
    via HotelPuzzleheaded514
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    It sounds like you're in a pattern of people pleasing, and she isn't behaving in a thoughtful way. Next time I would tell her no for something like this, or lay down clear boundaries about what you deserve. Lesson learned. But... Next time she won't get this much help again from you.
    via HotelPuzzleheaded514
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    walkinwater • 13h ago . Hi! Professional sitter here! What the other sitters aren't seeing is this isn't a typical sit. This is different than a professional sit, it's for a family member and you're not charging them.
    via walkinwater
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    1. They ordered from a more expensive store. 2. They aren't paying OP for staying with them.
    via walkinwater
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    OP you need to get that spine nice and shiny and let them. know that choosing a more expensive store is not okay with you, that they know you are students and can't afford to pay that much.
    via walkinwater
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    Then you need to tell them that since they are not compensating you with groceries as you had expected them to (poor communication aside), you will need to charge them for your pet sitting services as you will otherwise be losing money.
    via walkinwater
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    While you have sat for them in the past and you would have loved to just helped them out as before, they have shown that they are not appreciative of your time.
    via walkinwater
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    When they realize how much a pro would charge for the same service they will probably reconsider being stingy about the groceries.
    via walkinwater
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    And for everyone saying that's not how professional sits work, you're right! It's not a professional sit! My friends and family either: pay me, reciprocate with watching my pets, and/or stock up their kitchen for me.
    via walkinwater
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    NTA - Send her the total cost of pet sitting for 3 weeks and tell her you will subtract the cost of the groceries. (And that she's a j for buying more expensive groceries when she knows you're on a budget).
    via walkinwater
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    mydogrulesall • 13h ago NTA. However you should have discussed your expectation before you agreed to petsit. Perhaps do it next time.
    via mydogrulesall
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    Right now, based on your dynamic with your mom, you should tell how you feel plus the exact situation you described. In my experience, Moms usually have a way of passing on the message to the other kid and making sure there's fairness all around.
    via mydogrulesall
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    Just FYI your sister is either very unaware or very selfish. If my little sister was looking after my pet for so long, I would happily pay her in some gift cards and groceries too if that's what she needed. May be your mom can help her see your side of things.
    via mydogrulesall
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    Some-Silver2985 13h ago . ESH. All of the backstory about your job situation and the dog are irrelevant. Your sister is the a hole because you are doing. her a major favor - saving her hundreds if not thousands of dollars - she should compensate you in some way. YTA because you didn't bring this up before agreeing to dog sit.
    via Some-Silver2985
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    Willingness590 • 13h ago For 3 weeks, we would pay a house sitter over $1000 or the dog kennel just under that. NTA in any way, shape or form. Having pets comes at a cost. Plus, it isn't like you just get to enjoy their home and relax with some older dog. You both are actively having to work your bat off with this dog.
    via Willingness590
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    Known-Fly6490 · 13h ago . If OP is not being paid to dog sit, sister should at the very least provide food for her. I have a dog, we always boarded and it's expensive.
    via Known-Fly6490
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    ImLittleNana • 12h ago You should've negotiated a price for your time BEFORE agreeing to this. And I also don't understand why one person can't go buy groceries. How do you buy groceries when you're not at her place? Do you have to go together? ESH
    via ImLittleNana
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    LLD615 13h ago Having someone you trust to care for a pet when you're away is HUGE. I would have stocked the fridge and left some gift cards for dinner delivery.
    via LLD615

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