Dad promises $15,000 towards a down payment on his 28-year-old daughter's first house, but when he changes his mind at the last minute, she refuses to give the money back: 'We lose the house and thousands in fees'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 15, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

When this dad promised to pitch $15k towards his daughter's downpayment, the idea of parental generosity burned in his heart. But after initiating the wire transfer and giving his daughter the go-ahead to move forward with escrow, he suddenly changed his mind. Instead of helping his own biodaughter with her first home, he took back his offer to help pay for her downpayment so that he could use the money for lawyer fees for his dirtbag, teenage stepson. 

However, the transaction had already been completed, and the deal was done. Dad was too late to back out of his promise this time…

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    via Juanmonino

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • AITA for refusing to give my dad the down payment money back after he pulled out of helping us buy a house? My fiancé (30M) and I (28F) have been saving for a house for years. Back in February, my dad (58M) offered to gift us $15,000 to help with the down
    via lilacwhisperbloom
  • payment. He said he wanted to see us in our first home while he's still around and made a big deal about how it was no strings attached. We found a place in April, put in an offer, and it was accepted. As part of the process, I transferred my savings and his $15k
    via lilacwhisperbloom
  • into our joint account so the mortgage broker could see proof of funds. Everything was on track until last month, when my dad suddenly said he needed the $15k back. Apparently his girlfriend's son, whom I barely know, is in legal trouble and needs help more
    via lilacwhisperbloom
  • urgently than we do. He said we are young, can keep saving, and family comes first, meaning his girlfriend's kid. Problem is, the $15k is already tied up in closing costs and deposits. If we give it back, we lose the house and
    via lilacwhisperbloom
  • Cheezburger Image 10541257216
    via Juanmonino

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • thousands in fees. I told him we can't return it now without ruining our deal. He blew up, saying I'm choosing a house over family and that he only gave us the money because he thought we would understand if something came up. Now half my
    via lilacwhisperbloom
  • extended family is calling me selfish, while the other half says a gift is a gift and I don't owe him anything. My fiancé is furious and says we shouldn't give in, but I hate that this could permanently damage my relationship with my dad. AITA for refusing to give back my dad's down payment money?
    via lilacwhisperbloom

  • Generosity always seems like a wonderful idea on paper, but in reality, the hit to the bank account and the cobwebs growing in our wallets sting a bit. While parents love the idea of financially helping their kiddos into their adult lives, sometimes that reality is far more expensive than they initially expect, but with empty promises come burnt bridges and fiscal burden. This 28-year-old daughter, however, wouldn't take a loss at her father's expense, and because she'd lose her dream home and a couple of G's, she refused to pay him back a gift she'd already spent. 

  • Isolde Rune NTA. My uncle did this, promised my cousin tuition money, then took it back last-minute for his new wife's shopping spree. Some people just love the idea of generosity more than the actual commitment.
    via Isolde Rune
  • Beautiful-Report58 The answer is no. It was a gift for a down payment and it has been used for such. It's now part of a contract that I cannot undo. There's nothing more I can do for you.
    via Beautiful-Report58
  • Uglym8s. ΝΤΑ Your dad has now permanently ruined your relationship between I the two of you. I wouldn't worry about you playing a part in this, because you're innocent. Family comes first? So why is he choosing a non-family member over you?
    via Uglym8s
  • Financial_Freedom970 ⚫ NTA the money is spent and you are locked up financially now. He insisted it was a gift and if he didnt have the means he shouldn't have offered. If the relationship suffers thats on him
    via Financial_Freedom970
  • FitzDesign So he'd rather help his gf's son than his own flesh and bl d. What a great dad........ Keep the money and move ahead with your family.
    via FitzDesign
  • Chilling_Storm ⚫ He gave you the money, the deal is DONE. The money is YOURS, not his. You've had the money for 6 months it is all yours. - The ONLY one damaging the relationship is your father. And as for the rest of the extended family, IGNORE them, it does NOT concern them. Do not lose your home over this.
    via Chilling_Storm
  • BerneDoodleLover24 NTA - you simply can not return the gift. You would be losging the house and more money for the fees. You can not give somebody a generous sum but expect it back, if you need it. Especially if the money was ment for a specific purpose like the house. You simply don't HAVE it.
    via BerneDoodleLover24
  • 9ScoreAnd10Panties The family who says you're being selfish can cough up the money if they feel so strongly about helping the fleabag stepson.
    via 9ScoreAnd10Panties

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