34-year-old mom forbids 13-year-old daughter from cutting her waist-length blonde hair to impress her 14-year-old crush: 'She called me an overbearing mom'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

There are so many moms out there who are incredibly controlling about how their daughters cut and color their hair. There's a particular valorization of long hair in our culture, with short hair being subsequently stigmatized. By and large, society views long hair as valuable and precious, writing off short hair as a hasty, unattractive decision that a girl will only make when in distress. Bangs are similarly stigmatized as a nefarious hair choice that should be reconsidered at all costs. 

I'm all for thinking a lot about what kind of haircut or color you want before doing it. If you still want to dye your hair red or get a bob after three months of consideration, I'd say go ahead and do it. Many parents don't want to lead their kids astray by letting them make hasty hair decisions, and I respect that. It's hard to know whether a teen has truly considered their choices or if they made them impulsively, like yesterday. 

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  • Caucasian woman portrait shoot in a studio
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The mom in this story is trying to stop her daughter from making an impulsive decision that she'll regret. Her daughter wants to get a pixie cut to impress her crush, which concerns her mother. This teen also has way longer hair than the average girl, and the people of the internet are wondering if there's more at play than a mere crush.

  • AITA for telling my daughter she can't get a new hairstyle to impress some boy?

    I (34f) have a daughter (13f) who wants to cut her waist-length blonde hair. Cut it to less than an inche. All this to impress her crush (14m). I said no and she called me an overbearing mom.
    via u/Ambitious_Carrot3747
  • A young boy holding a basketball in a park
    via Mariela Ferbo (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My husband (35m) says he understands why I did it but my tactics were bad. He said that maybe our daughter wouldn't tell us when has dramatic plans. Am I the a hole?
    via u/Ambitious_Carrot3747
  • A woman sitting on the floor looking out a window
    via Mathilde Langevin

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • curly_spy NTA. I was a stylist for 40 years. This is a drastic change for anyone especially someone so young. She has no idea how linked she is to that hair. I've seen girls who thought they wanted a big chop sob hysterically once they saw their hair cut. Please allow her some autonomy though. I used to tell clients who didn't have to listen to what a parent had to say to do it in stages.
    via u/curly_spy
  • Let's cut to above the shoulder and you live with that for a week or two and if you still want that pixie we will do it! I'm saying NTA because I've seen too many young girls regret their decision. But you also need to let her grow up. Choose your battles because they will be tough going forward and yo will wish you were dealing with something as easy as a haircut.
    via u/curly_spy
  • Mmm_lemon_cakes Thank you! No one in the comments seems to be acknowledging haircut regret. Pile 13 year old hormones and angst onto that, and it's a recipe for disaster. Honestly... I'm not convinced this isn't a dare that could go horribly wrong. Teenage boys aren't known for their love of pixie cuts.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
  • There's a very real chance this whole thing is bu ying, and the daughter doesn't realize it. They're suggesting it because she's likely the only girl with hair this long, and she stands out. They want to see if they can get her to cut it. She's going to cut her hair, and they're going to laugh at her.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
  • greymisperception I think you're exactly on the mark, could be other girls hinting that she should cut it, especially if she's standing out in school, I don't think the boys mind
    via u/greymisperception
  • stiletto929 I used to HATE when hairstylists would try to talk me out of big changes. I liked my hair really long, or really short. I hated in between styles, and got really ticked off when hairstylists tried to talk me out of a big change.
    via u/stiletto929
  • If you are going to tell someone to come back in a week if they really want a pixie cut, I sure hope you are giving them the second haircut for free.
    via u/stiletto929
  • crocodilezebramilk At the same time though, it's usually the stylist who gets in some heat if a client doesn't like the cut they've chosen, so to protect themselves? They make quadruple sure that the client really does want a big chop, cause putting hair back on is more expensive than snipping it off.
    via u/crocodilezebramilk
  • annoyedCDNthrowaway YTA. This was a moment to have a conversation with your daughter about making choices to make others happy and whether she really wants short hair, or if it is just because the boy said he liked it. Also, about how she would feel if she does it and he still isn't interested. Instead you shut her down with no discussion and a dismissal. Your husband is correct. As a last note... It's hair. If she changes her mind she can always grow it back. Let her make decisions about her ow
    via u/annoyedCDNthrowaway
  • calvin-not-Hobbes Ya...as a parent whose kids are in their mid 20's now, hair isn't a hill to di on.
    via u/calvin-not-Hobbes
  • notsomuchhoney Everyone has had a bad haircut, better get it out of the way early.
    via u/notsomuchhoney
  • swissie67 Honestly, I'd let her get it cut in a heartbeat. Why would I lead her to believe that her hair is an essential part of her identity? Better she learn early that she remains the same person regardless of the length of her hair.
    via u/swissie67
  • Agreeable Tension2166 My guess is because the mom has made it part of her identity.
    via u/AgreeableTension2166
  • Extension_Low_1571 I agree, the more serious issue is about her changing herself in hopes of being more attractive in someone else's eyes. This is a slippery slope for teen girls even when it doesn't mean such a huge change. Encouraging a 13 y/o girl to believe she is good enough as she is, without molding herself into anyone else's ideal, is something I wish to heaven I had gotten growing up even once.
    via u/Extension_Low_1571
  • Burner442829 "It's just hair" That's prob a decade long investment to grow back if she regrets it. Over some random boy she just met.
    via u/Burner442829
  • snakpakkid To me it's not the hair itself. It's the second part. That's why mom failed her in shutting her down and not sitting daughter down and having a discussion and expressing concerns and giving her explanations as to why and talking about one's self esteem, value and self worth.
    via u/snakpakkid
  • esiotrotting NTA. Kids can be fickle. Tell her that if she still wants to do it in a month then she can
    via u/esiotrotting
  • [deleted] I think this is the best answer. Let her choose her own haircut, but force her to have time to think about it first.
    via u/[deleted]
  • xicor YTA. She's old enough to decide how she wants her hair. You are absolutely being an overbearing parent. Let her make her own decision and just let her know that she's gonna have to deal with the consequences of it on her own if she doesn't like it.
    via u/xicor

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hair parents of teens teens blondes entitled parents mother teenagers blonde haircut parenting raising teens daughter mom Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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