'He immediately snapped, “I told you no,” in a raised voice and basically kicked me back out': Worker in shared office refuses to let coworker in to retrieve their bag, lashes out at them

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 17, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Sharing a space is not always easy. You know this if you've ever had a roommate. Maybe in your freshman year of college, you shared a room with someone you didn't know. You had to learn how to be respectful of each other's space. You learn not to be loud at night or turn the lights on when they're sleeping. You shift your habits to keep the peace. It might not be fun, but it beats a hostile roommate situation. Then you carry these skills into adult life, and they will serve you well. Maybe you end up with roommates as an adult. Maybe you move in with your significant other and have to negotiate that. Or maybe you end up with an office mate. 

It's important to keep up those rules of kindness and not sabotage your shared spaces. Even if it means making some compromises now and then, it's worth it in the long run. But not everybody internalizes these rules, and that can sometimes lead to major conflict. Like in this situation, where an office worker didn't know how to share the space with his coworker. 

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  • A male employee holds his face in his hands at his desk.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When his coworker got permission to leave early and came back for her belongings, she found that her coworker had put up a “Do Not Disturb” sign. The problem was that she needed to be in there. Read on to see how it played out and decide what you would have done.

  • Am I wrong for entering my coworker's office after he told me not to?

    I've been working in this office for 3 months, but because of space shortages, I currently share it with a coworker who just started last week. Even though he's new, he's technically my supervisor.
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • Today, I was told I could leave early because I'd finished all my work. I stepped out for about 5 minutes to see if anyone else needed help, but nobody did. When I came back, there was a "Please Do Not Disturb" sign on the door. Usually that means there's a meeting or conversation going on, and they can last close to an hour.
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • The problem was, my bag- with my wallet, water, and food- was still in there. I didn't want to wait almost an hour to get it, so I asked another coworker for advice. She suggested knocking. I waited another 5 minutes, then knocked. He said, "Not right now." I knocked again to show I wasn't there for chit-chat, but because I actually needed something. Still: "Not right now."
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • So I opened the door just enough to explain that I needed to grab my bag- it was literally one step inside. He immediately snapped, "I told you no," in a raised voice and basically kicked me back out. I shut the door and left, but I was so shaken I ended up crying in the bathroom.
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • When his meeting was finally over, I went back in to collect my things. I was still upset, and he told me I had no right to be "ped." I said I only wanted my bag and that I have the right to access my own belongings. I suggested that if he's planning a meeting in our shared office, he could at least let me know so I can grab my stuff beforehand. He said he doesn't see it that way and doesn't need to tell me anything, and he kept pushing the point.
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • At that stage, I was trying not to cry again, so I told him it's harder for me because I'm au tic. The second I said that, his tone changed- he softened and said he didn't know, and now it was "fine." But it really bothered me that I had to disclose something so personal just to get basic understanding.
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • Now I'm worried this could hurt my reputation. He's well-liked, and I'm scared it'll get spun as me causing drama- especially since I've been socially excluded before because of my au sm. Until now, this was the first workplace where I felt genuinely safe and included, and I'd even considered staying long- term. Now, I'm not so sure. So... AITA for going in after he told me not to?
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • TL;DR: Shared an office with a new supervisor. He had a "Do Not Disturb" sign up during a meeting, but my bag (with essentials) was inside. I knocked twice, explained urgency, and still got told no. Opened door to grab it quickly, got yelled at. Now worried it'll damage my work relationships. AITA?
    via u/Level-Bid4516
  • A male employee checks his watch at his desk.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters agreed that this was out of line.

    mega512 · 22h ago NTA - Nah f that. Talk to HR. That is completely inappropriate.
    via u/mega5126
  • au... • • 22h ago Edited 18h ago NTA - but he is one. Talk to HR because au tic or not, its a shared space. I would have walked in despite the sign and quietly gathered my things. Are you hourly? If he locked you out and you can't leave then he has to pay for that time you were detained by his holier than thou attitude.
    via u/auesomemom
  • Safe_Ability3437 • 22h ago NTA. When you share an office, you are allowed to enter and exit as you see fit. If he had a meeting that couldn't be disturbed, he should have either notified you in advance, or had the meeting elsewhere.
    via u/Safe_Ability3437
  • quincebush • 21h ago NTA Firstly, your officemate had zero business scheduling a meeting in your shared office without informing you, it's a shared space. Your au sm has nothing to do with misreading the situation, they were in the wrong. Secondly, your officemate didn't changed their tune because
    via u/quincebush
  • you explained. They did because their a would be in the sling since au sm makes you part of a protected class in the workplace. You need to log this incident and any others and if it continues to be a problem, notify human resources. Human resources protects the company from legal exposure in the work place and you have protections under the ADA if your are in the US or similar laws in other countries.
    via u/quincebush
  • . Sleepwalker0304 • 21h ago NTA. Take it to HR. Make sure they know you couldn't leave because he wouldn't allow you to retrieve your belongings and (if you aren't salaried) you expect to be paid for the time you had to remain in the office and were not allowed to leave due to his actions. Make it clear that you'll be lawyering up if they refuse.
    via u/Sleepwalker0304
  • Ellumine 21h ago NTA. It's also your office, and his leadership style sounds atrocious. Like others are saying, this needs to go to HR. He either needs an office of his own in line with his title, or he should be sharing with other leadership, to start with,
    via u/Ellumine
  • but if you'll be trapped with him in that space, he has no right to deny you access to it. If he's doing something that requires that level of privacy, he can go find a conference room or empty office. Denying you access to your belongings or potentially to your own productivity for his own, singular convenience is unacceptable.
    via u/Ellumine
  • Glitch_Ghoul • 21h ago NTA. Next time just walk in and grab your stuff. Don't ask permission, just do it. It's your space as well, he can't kick you out of it.
    via u/Glitch_Ghoul
  • justmynamee • 21h ago Title is misleading, because its not just your co-workers office, its also yours. Regardless of superiority, that was an uncalled for reaction from someone who is supposed to be your superior. Personally I would start a paper trail with HR, because it seems like they want the shared space as their own, and will squeeze you out any way they can. NTA
    via u/justmynamee
  • Lucy_Nell ⚫ 22h ago . NTA. It's a share space so he should warn you about his meetings so you can organize your work properly. And you shouldn't have to disclose your au tic diagnostic to him for him understanding the problem. Do you have another superior? You should talk about this share office's problem with a superior to plan a better organisation.
    via u/Lucy_Nell
  • o2low 21h ago • NTA. You should speak to HIS boss or whoever implemented the space sharing. You are correct that he has no right to unilaterally decide to have solo access to the space. You are entitled to at least notice of the meeting or respectfully he should be having the meeting somewhere else
    via u/o2low
  • peakerforlife • 21h ago NTA. It's your office too, and he shouldn't be holding your stuff hostage.
    via u/peakerforlife16
  • ScarletNotThatOne 21h ago NTA. He doesn't get to keep you out of a shared space without first making arrangements.
    via u/ScarletNotThatOne
  • dabbin_mama 21h ago NTA "He doesn't see it that way" doesn't matter how he sees it matters how HR does. It's unreasonable to block access to a shared office without advance notice, full stop.
    via u/dabbin_mama
  • Graflex01867 • 21h ago NTA. When you share an office, you cannot just throw a "do not disturb" sign on the door and kick your co-worker out. Even if you had agreed to let him use the office, you needed your things to go home - that's an acceptable reason to interrupt a meeting, do-not-disturb or not.
    via u/Graflex01867
  • be... • 21h ago Edited 21h ago . NTA. You don't need permission to enter your own office. He sounds upset he's being forced to share this space with you. Regardless if you have au sm, which you shouldn't have needed to disclose that for sympathy from him, he was inappropriate.
    via u/beeedean
  • ExtensionRhubarb... . 21h ago NTA...go to HR immediately and get this remedied. He's creating a hostile work environment.
    via u/ExtensionRhubarb5811
  • • vegasbywayofLA · 21h ago NTA. I would have given a light knock to minimize the disturbance, then walked in and grabbed my stuff. It is a shared office; he can't unilaterally decide to kick you out. He should have warned you about his meeting as soon as he knew about it to see if it was ok for him to have the office to himself for that time period.
    via u/vegasbywayofLA

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