‘People in the old days used to have pride’: Entitled parents insist daughter highlight her hair to attract a man, claiming it’s ‘dirty, dishwater blonde,’ she refuses

Author image for Molly Vincent
Molly Vincent
Aug 19, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Standing up to your parents isn't always instinctual for everyone. When it comes to them demanding you change your appearance, it's really a big ask. The story below highlights the difficulties of both living under stringent parental rules, and debilitating pressures of gender roles. The narrator's parents seem to be very old fashioned. A woman should be clean, pretty, and agreeable. They're going to fly on a plane, and she wears sweats. Even this feels like an act of rebellion to their tyranny. They try to instill in her the notion that going to fly meant dressing up. Who do they think they're dressing up for, the flight attendants? The pretzel snacks? It's a hilarious and ridiculous notion to think that that was a standard back in the day – to dress fancy to impress an aircraft. 

Since it's 2025 and people usually don't do that anymore, she brushes off their suggestions. But this transitions to them getting on her about her dark blonde hair, and encourages her to dye it blonder so it looks bleached. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not getting my hair highlighted?

    Woman with messy hair.
    via puhhha from Getty Images / Canva

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    Okay, I know. But, hear me out. So my parents & I are flying to see family for the week, and I am dressed in a t-shirt and grey
    via u/uiechy

  • Even reading this story had me shuttering at the idea of such intense parents. She stands her ground and dismisses their archaic notions of beauty, and social standards. Read the full story below to understand where the parents are coming from, even if you can't resonate with it. 

  • 03
    sweatpants. Because I want to be comfy... I thought that would be okay. Well, apparently that has been something that has irked
    via u/uiechy
  • 04
    my dad for a long time. He said that people in the old days used to have pride, and they used to dress up to fly. Like my mom was
    via u/uiechy
  • 05
    telling me that she used to have to wear pantyhose to fly. My dad said 'how are you going to meet
    via u/uiechy
  • 06
    a man if you show up looking like ?' (I am single for context, a lol)
    via u/uiechy
  • 07
    Now for what sparked this: my hair is a dark blonde, and has not been highlighted in forever. My folks have long called it 'dirty
    via u/uiechy
  • 08
    dishwater blonde' and they want me to dye it light blonde again. I used to BLEACH my hair, but it's
    via u/uiechy
  • 09
    all grown out now & super healthy. So I'd rather not.
    via u/uiechy
  • 10
    My dad says hair for a woman is her first impression, her best asset. I tried saying that I think I have better assets than just my
    via u/uiechy
  • 11
    Aisles in an airplane.
    via Sourav Mishra from Pexels / Canva

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    hair, like a stable job and a house. (Which I do own.) My dad says that's loser mentality to stop at that. He said only winners see the
    via u/uiechy
  • 13
    bigger picture. He says I need to do it to attract a 'mate.' But I have no interest. It doesn't bring me joy.... So...AITAH?
    via u/uiechy
  • 14
    MrsCakeakaJane • 19h ago Tell him if he wants to find a man then he has your full support and he has a safe space to come out when he's ready.
    via u/MrsCakeakaJane
  • 15
    honestly what century does he live in
    via u/MrsCakeakaJane
  • 16
    Initial Physics_3861 17h ago NTA, ever. Us dark blonds need to kick that "dirty blond" mentality OUT the door.
    via u/Initial Physics_3861
  • 17
    I prefer to think of it as a dark honey colour. Like buckwheat honey. I have never dyed my hair and I never will.
    via u/Initial Physics_3861
  • 18
    Plane window to the clouds.
    via bulletrain743 from pixabay / Canva

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 19
    JSungStudios • 19h ago I'm sorry but how are you in the stage in life where you own a house with a stable job and still asking whether
    via u/JSungStudios
  • 20
    or not it's okay for people to try to control your comfort clothing and hair?
    via u/JSungStudios
  • 21
    Opening Band_86... • 18h ago How old are you? I'm assuming you are not a teenager as you said you own your own home and have a stable job. Regardless
    via u/Opening_Band_8643
  • 22
    of how old you are, you don't have to listen to this absolute cr p. Sorry to say but your dad is a piece of work. I'd keep my distance
    via u/Opening_Band_8643
  • 23
    as much as possible. None of his opinions were asked for or appreciated. He needs to know this.
    via u/Opening_Band_8643
  • 24
    InternalPercentag... • 17h ago your dad thinks a woman needs a man or you're nothing without a man. CLEARLY he has the loser mentality NTA
    via u/InternalPercentage60

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hair family drama drama blonde hair dye reddit story family feud relationships parenting love family reddit thread daughter Reddit parents
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