‘I’ve never had to deal with someone like this before’: Lead employee deals with a 40-something coworker who floods chat with emoji-filled pings and needless questions, so she sets strict boundaries

Leadership turns into digital daycare when a 40-something coworker treats chat like a playground, pinging nonstop with emoji riddles, ellipses confetti, and questions that answer themselves while draining the will to live. The work gets done despite the performance, not because of it, and every LOL lands like a fruit fly in your coffee. This is not collaboration, it is ambient noise with a headset.

Modern offices breed this character on contact. The overcommunicator who confuses volume with value, who forwards a screenshot instead of reading the sentence above it, who uses a shrug emoji like a legal disclaimer. They crave instant replies to vague prompts, create false urgency to outsource decisions, then declare victory when someone else solves the problem they staged. They vent as a hobby and call it transparency.

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Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • My 40-Year Old Coworker is Actually a 15-Year Old

    frustrated woman with her hands on her face in front of a laptop. next to a quote that reads: "I just don't have the energy to respond so I just leave her on read"
    via studioroman

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • They brag about past empires to distract from present chaos. They weaponize read receipts so silence feels like insubordination. They invoice first, seek approval later, and rely on the polite person in the room to mop it up. It is a dominance game wrapped in whimsy, a toddler routine in corporate drag. The trick is simple and cruel. Flood the channel until others surrender. Make your chatter their workload. Turn attention into tribute.

  • Sorry for the long post.. I (26F) am the lead over a coworker in her mid-40s. I've been at this company almost 5 years, and she's been here a little over 3.
    via talixxo
  • Every single day she pings me multiple times on teams (5-6+ messages) about different things. It's never just quick, simple questions.. it's huge paragraphs, screenshots, and a mix of venting and asking things she already knows the answer to.
    via talixxo
  • She overuses emojis and puts "..." after almost every sentence, which comes off condescending like she's dumbing things down for me. For example, she'll write things like:
    via talixxo
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  • frustrated woman looking at a laptop
    via Ahmet Kurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "Do we need to... invoice as a warranty... or do we need to... invoice... as a normal service call." Her questions are usually vague, but when I answer them, instead of just saying "okay" or just not responding at all, she'll say things like:
    via talixxo
  • "LOL I knew that, just wanted to confirm → Why ask me then?? And WHAT IS SO " | FUNNY? It feels defensive every single time and the overuse of the laughing emoji should be illegal at her grown age.
    via talixxo
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  • Not sure if it's because I'm 20 years younger than her but have a higher position so being condescending makes her feel better? A lot of the time, she'll also respond with "LOL" after I answer simple question of hers.
    via talixxo
  • It's bizarre to me. She also complains about every little obstacle she runs into. I get that work can be frustrating, but she vents to me CONSTANTLY then follows up with "I just wanted to vent... ." It's draining.
    via talixxo
  • frustrated woman looking at a laptop
    via GlassesShop

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • The antidote is boundaries with teeth. Batch replies at set times. Route approvals through systems, not vibes. Point repeat questions to the same document without commentary. Mute the circus. Treat LOL as spam. Write rules once and enforce them like a turnstile. If it is not in the ticket, it does not exist. Professional adulthood is not a reaction speed test. It is saying no to chaos with a straight face and a quiet keyboard.

  • For example, yesterday she asked me if I needed to review a work order a 2nd time (all leads have to review work orders over $10k). I didn't see her message right away, but when I went to review it later, she had already invoiced it anyway.
    via talixxo
  • When I replied, "well it's already been invoiced, but no, a 3rd review isn't needed," instead of just leaving it at that, she responded, "it was already reviewed 2 times though "Again... why even ask me if you were just going to do it anyway?
    via talixxo
  • I hate feeling like someone is waiting on me, so I usually stop what I'm doing to answer her right away. But lately I've started muting her notifications because it's giving me anxiety and distracting me from my workload.
    via talixxo
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  • I genuinely dread opening my messages now because I know it'll be her either complaining, fishing for validation, or asking me something she clearly already knows the answer to.
    via talixxo
  • I'm wondering if anyone has any methods to cope with something like this? I've never had to deal with someone like this before. Should I just ignore her unless it's a true work question?
    via talixxo
  • I used to answer every message she sent but lately I just haven't had the energy to respond so I've been leaving her on read and she can see that since it's on Teams.
    via talixxo
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  • Sometimes she'll send another message when she sees I don't answer. EDIT: I have ignored her messages and only answer at certain points of the day. When she asks me questions, I've tried asking her what she thinks she should do.
    via talixxo
  • I've also told her she should trust herself more. I'm just not sure if there's another way I should go about this. EDIT #2: She has made it a point to make sure everyone knows she has owned multiple of her own businesses before.
    via talixxo
  • She acts as a know it all and often time talks poorly about anyone that slightly inconveniences her. She's not at all insecure in the slightest.
    via talixxo
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