‘Get a job or I’m putting you on an allowance’: 34-year-old working husband forces stay-at-home wife to get a job due to frivilous spending, she considers divorce in retaliation

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Divorce rates are so high that half of marriages end in them. In this story, finances are the posit to this couple's marital struggles. The wife is a stay-at-home mom, which isn't necessarily the problem. The problem lies in her frivolous and frequent spending of their money. The husband is frustrated because he feels like she spends all of his money on things she doesn't need. I could understand where he's coming from. It's difficult to be in a relationship or marriage where you're not on the same page with finances, especially for the husband who's the bread winner. 

He tells her to stop spending so much of his money, but maybe he could have been a little more tactful with his words, and he tells her he'll have to put her on an allowance. Talk about demeaning, huh? They have an argument, and it gets to the point where she even threatens divorce due to his words. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my wife either she gets a job or i'm putting her on an allowance?

    Woman on a shopping spree.
    via freestocks.org from Pexels / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My 34m wife 34f is a sahm/sahw and she likes to spend frivolously. After the kids go to school on the bus she usually goes back to bed,
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612

  • Money is an easy point of contention in marriages or long-term relationships. If the two people don't completely see eye-to-eye, then it's easy to fight over money, especially when one is the worker and supporting the whole family, and the other sits at home all day. 

  • 03
    then wakes up goes to starbucks to have a coffee and bagel and browses her phone. Then she goes to the gym and after goes. shopping.
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 04
    She doesnt always buy things sometimes its just window shopping, but she's spent 1,500
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 05
    by herself some months on clothes, nails, hair, makeup, eyebrows, buying eyelashes in
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 06
    packages called things like "baddie" or "boy" etc.
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 07
    I told her we need to get on a budget and stick to it and if she can't i'll have no choice but to put her on an allowance or she can
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 08
    get a job. She was furious and said if i wanted a working wife i should have married a "hardworking girl" instead of her.
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 09
    I reminded her that when we first married she did have plans to work, and had all these big plans on becoming a "business
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 10
    woman", yet never acted on anything. She called me an ungrateful a hle and said "then divorce me".
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 11
    I don't know what to do. AITA for telling her to either get a handle on her spending, get a job, or i'll put her on an allowance?
    via u/Hot-Principle-5612
  • 12
    Fancy bag
    via Billion Photos / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    lyrical_llama 11h ago You needed to put her on an allowance yesterday if she has no respect for the budget. Now is the second best time.
    via u/lyrical_llama
  • 14
    Only_Music_2640 • 11h ago I mean if you divorce her she'll be forced to go on a budget and/or get a job anyway.
    via u/Only_Music_2640
  • 15
    goodbabygirl444 • 11h ago NTA, I've been married for 20+ years and I am a sahm. Following a budget is necessary for long term
    via u/goodbabygirl444
  • 16
    success, she deserves an allowance, but it has to be within your means. Running a household has to be run
    via u/goodbabygirl444
  • 17
    like a small business for it to thrive. Plus you gotta save for retirement/illness, you never know what life is going to throw at you.
    via u/goodbabygirl444
  • 18
    Money
    via breeze393 from Getty Images / Canva

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    GigiGemini86 • 11h ago I would call her bluff and meet an attorney. It sounds like she lied about what she
    via u/GigiGemini86
  • 20
    was going to contribute to the marriage and took you for a ride. Congratulations, you got a golddigger.
    via u/GigiGemini86
  • 21
    GardenSafe8519 • 11h ago Tell her she lied about plans for the future and you cannot fund her lifestyle on your own. Close out a joint
    via u/GardenSafe8519
  • 22
    account and open your own account and put her on an allowance. If she don't like it she will get a job. If you
    via u/GardenSafe8519
  • 23
    divorce, tell the lawyer she worked before kids but refused to get a job after kids (try to avoid alimony).
    via u/GardenSafe8519

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