42-year-old mom refuses to dogsit brother's elderly dog, he returns the "favor" by being unavailable to babysit for her: "I ended up having to send her to a pet hotel"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 5, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

We've all heard the phrase, "It takes a village," when it comes to raising kids. It is true that a child raised in a loving and supportive community has more of an opportunity to thrive. When parents know that they can depend on others for help when needed, it takes pressure off of them enough to perform better as parents. However, the village cannot do the parents' job for them all of the time, and the parents cannot expect to receive help if they never reciprocate. 

In our story today, a sibling squabble is started when one sister refuses to help the other take care of her dog while she is away. Our protagonist ends up putting her doggo in a pet hotel, costing her money when all she needed was for her elderly dog to get fed and walked twice a day. When her sister finds herself in a similar position, needing a sitter for her children, our protagonist gives her a taste of her own medicine. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to babysit my sister's kids after she refused to dogsit for me?

    Cheezburger Image 10501445632
    via skynesher

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Sorry for any errors, English isn't my first language. I (35M) have a dog. She's an old girl (going on 12 now but she was a rescue so we don't know exactly) and very sweet. I've had her for a decade. she's really well behaved - she doesn't get on furniture,
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 03
    she doesn't bother anyone. She's old and tired and just wants to hang out at her spot, eat her food, go on her walks and get her pets. She's practically a piece of furniture, but one that needs to be fed and walked. It's probably her age, sure, but she's been
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 04
    that way for a good while. Even when she was younger she wasn't super energetic. All that to say - she requires some work, but she's not a menace or poorly behaved in any way. Previously, whenever I went out of town, my dad would come over and take care of her. He loved her and it was a really great arrangement for everyone involved.
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10501445120
    via AMSW Photography -Alisha Smith Watkins from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    3 years ago my dad passed away, and since my mom passed a few years prior, it left me and my sister (43F) alone - me more than her, since she has a family. I had a girlfriend at the time, but we have
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 07
    broken up since. Still - a few months after my dad's passing, we wanted to go on vacation, and I asked my sister to take care of my dog. My dad usually did it by coming over, and I offered the same deal. H I, I offered alternatives too.
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10501444864
    via Valerii Honcharuk

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    I offered she come over. I offered her older kid (16F, 14 at the time) stay over. I offered to bring my dog over to their place, or h I, even for them to just come over twice a day to walk her and to refill her food and water. My sister refused outright, she had her hands full with her house and her family and flat
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 10
    out refused to dogsit, even as her own children begged her to let them since they really love my dog. Nothing helped, she wouldn't compromise, and I ended up having to send her to a pet hotel. I wasn't happy about it, and it cost a pretty penny, but fine whatever. Still, I never quite forgave her.
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 11
    Now, my sister asked me to babysit, as she and her husband want to go on a trip for their anniversary - it's something my dad (and my mom too) used to help them with. Her oldest, as mentioned, is 16 and her youngest is 8. The older girl can be left alone,
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 12
    but she obviously wants help taking care of her son, and her daughter doesn't wanna do it, since it's a lot of work over the course of almost a full week. I wouldn't really mind, and I get along well with both kids, but... she wasn't willing to take care of my dog when I needed her, so why would I agree to take care
    via u/GrowingUnder

  • She was so against helping her sister that she even refused to let her enthusiastic children help. It's no wonder our protagonist is so unwilling to lend a hand.

  • 13
    原
    via HbrH

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    of her children? So I flat out told her no, and now she's upset. She says with our parents gone we have no one to rely on but each other, and I told her this was true when I asked for help with my dog as well.
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 15
    She tells me it's not the same thing, since she has a household to take care of, and I just have myself. I told her no, I have my dog as well, and she needs care too, and she was being condescending and hypocritical. She hasn't really talked to me since, and it's been a few days. So am I just being an AH?
    via u/GrowingUnder
  • 16
    Niccon43 NTA. If she was asking you to watch the kids in an emergency, I would say you were a ah. But as it's so they can go on a trip, they can pay a babysitter, like you had to pay to board your dog when you went
    via u/Niccon43
  • 17
    away. It maybe petty and childish, but sometimes it's what it takes for some people to realise that they can't expect someone to bend over backwards to help them out, when they're not willing to return the favour once in a while.
    via u/Niccon43

  • If our protagonist had to put her dog in a pet hotel during her trip, it goes to follow that her sister would have to hire a sitter for her kids. 

  • 18
    Tigerzombie It takes a village to raise a child. But you also have to help in the village too and not just expect the village to help you.
    via u/Tigerzombie
  • 19
    Clean-Patient-8809 So many people who say, "It takes a village!" clearly think that they are the ones who run the village and everyone else is an unpaid worker.
    via u/Clean-Patient-8809
  • 20
    pineappleshampoo Yeah this is where I fall. OP, you can decline a request to babysit for any reason, any time. NTA to not wanna babysit. Regardless of reciprocity with your dog.
    via u/pineappleshampoo
  • 21
    Rainbowbright31 So really what she means by "all we have is each other" is "all I have is you but you are on your own for help because I am too busy" NTA
    via u/Rainbowbright31
  • 22
    PrincessPerky666 This is so true, especially because she has a husband and children. Her brother had only her to reach out to, her kids wanted to help, but she decided that he wasn't worth the effort. You reap what you sow.
    via u/PrincessPerky666
  • 23
    81optimus Nta. I would have done exactly the same. Your sister sounds so self centred though, there's no way this isn't going to impact your future relationship. I wish you and your dog all the best
    via u/81optimus
  • 24
    Chatauqua NTA - I hate it when parents think that their time is more valuable and they're the only ones with responsibilities just because they have kids. Childfree and childless people have lives as well and your sister's time is not more valuable than yours.
    via u/Chatauqua

Tags

family drama dogs babysitter entitled parents AITAH pets adulting sisters siblings motherhood parenting babysitting family sister Reddit mom entitled people
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