Coworker brushes her hair at her desk every day, coworker calls her out for being unhygienic: 'She's been super cold and barely says a word to me'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 28, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Sharing a desk with someone is a lot less dramatic than sharing a room or a house with them. When you live with someone, you're exposed to all of their habits. All the secret things they do when they're home, you'll find out about. You'll know that they keep their peanut butter in the fridge and their ketchup in the pantry. You know that they never clean out the lint tray in the dryer and that they use dish soap to take off their makeup. You know that they clip their toenails in the living room, and they can't stand when you let a banana go brown. 

These are all the weird little quirks you discover when you start living with someone. But on at least some level, you chose to live with this person. You have some stake in making it work. You don't usually choose your coworkers. So you hope that you're not forced into the same level of intimacy as you would with a roommate. This isn't always the case, though. Sometimes they will expose all of their habits to you, too. 

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  • A woman plays with her hair at her desk.
    via 戸山 神奈

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story, where one coworker was totally fed up with their coworker's behavior. But when they tried to call it out, they found that their relationship was put on the rocks. So they reached out to the internet to see what everyone else thought of this situation. Read on for details. 

  • Am I in the wrong for asking my coworker to stop brushing her hair at her desk?

    I work in a shared office space with about 10 people, and most of us sit in pretty close proximity. One of my coworkers (let's call her Anna) sits directly across from me, so we're basically face to face all day.
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • Anna has this habit of brushing her hair at her desk, not like once in a while after coming in from the wind or something, but every single day, usually in the late morning or after lunch. She takes out this big paddle brush and just goes to town, brushing her hair for several minutes while still sitting at her computer.
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • It kind of grosses me out, not gonna lie. I don't think brushing your hair in the middle of a shared workspace is super appropriate, especially since her hair ends up all over her desk and sometimes on the floor. I've definitely seen a few strands floating near my space too.
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • A couple weeks ago, I tried to make a light joke about it like, "Haha, you're shedding again," hoping she'd take the hint. But she just laughed and didn't change anything.
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • Yesterday, I finally just asked her (politely) if she could maybe do that in the bathroom instead. I kept it calm and respectful, just said something like, "Hey, would you mind brushing your hair in the bathroom instead of at your desk? It's a little distracting and I think it'd be more hygienic."
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • She didn't say much, just kind of nodded, but now she's been super cold and barely says a word to me. The vibe is definitely off. I don't think I was ride, and I tried to bring it up in the nicest way possible, but now I'm wondering if I overstepped or embarrassed her. I'm not trying to be the office hygiene police, I just don't want to deal with loose hair floating around while I'm trying to work.
    via u/ForwardEquipment1137
  • A woman combs her hair.
    via Unsplash+ (Ramsés Cervantes)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had varying opinions about this behavior.

    kronikid42069 • 2d ago When you say something negative to a person whether it be about their appearance or habits they will take it personally
    via u/kronikid42069
  • DrakeFloyd • 23h ago But also it's fine. She's upset but dealing with it like an adult and will probably accommodate the request. She'll get over it. That's the price of asking someone to change their behavior though, they may get a little irritated for a bit. NTA but there's no way to make that request without risking that someone may be a little irritated by it, just gotta decide what matters more to you
    via u/DrakeFloyd
  • saraTbiggun • 2d ago I'm a janitor and being grossed out by this is genuinely wild to me when there is MUCH grosser stuff all over every single office. Men's room got 10 gallons of pee under every urinal and dudes step all in it and track it everywhere. Someone near
    via u/saraTbiggun
  • your desk who you aren't looking at all the time is biting their nails and spitting them. all over the floor. Someone is licking chip dust off their fingers and then touching the door where you touch it (so many people think that if they don't touch handles, they're avoiding germs, but you all
    via u/saraTbiggun
  • touch the same spots on the doors, anyway). Something is rotting in the break room fridge. The Kureg never gets cleaned. Chicks are all kicking their heels off and touching their feet to things. Buncha people dropping crumbs everywhere under their desks and that's why the place gets roaches and
    via u/saraTbiggun
  • mice (and don't say there. aren't roaches and mice because I GUARANTEE your office has pest traps). Like, hair on a desk and floor is the least gross thing I've cleaned up in an office.
    via u/saraTbiggun
  • meash-maeby 2d ago . The manager that sits by me clips his nails at his desk all the time. I would take hair brushing over that any day!
    via u/meash-maeby
  • Adelucas 2d ago I must be old. I've seen no end of people brushing their hair at work. Men and women. I don't even think about it. This is a you problem I'm afraid.
    via u/Adelucas
  • mac2020 2d ago "Light hearted joke" Passive aggressive dickish intended comment. She's not a shedding dog..... Told someone what to do because you dont like it. Why is she cold to me? Lololol. Seriously cant grasp why?
    via u/mac2o2o
  • Luxodad 2d ago . YTA. Have you never run your fingers through your hair while thinking, or just for some stress relief, or just because? Your colleague prefers a hair brush to fingers. Do you know for sure all the hairs on your side are hers and not yours? It is normal to lose between 50 to 100 a day.
    via u/Luxodad
  • jennid79 • 2d ago . I keep a brush in my desk myself. No, it wouldn't bother me at all to see someone brush their hair anywhere. People do it all the time
    via u/jennid79
  • BiscuitsPo · 2d ago "Goes to town"... please. Get over yourself
    via u/BiscuitsPo
  • Fres... 2d ago Edited 2d ago • Im not sure brushing your hair at your own desk is violating anything regarding code of conduct. You suggesting she was unhygienic may not be compliant with code of conduct and she may go to HR about it. If she was flossing her teeth and then threw the floss on your desk, ok.... But brushing hair. Come on man, if that grosses you out don't have a baby.
    via u/Fresh_Traffic_8186
  • Pancakesandbooks 2d ago • Lmao your life must be genuinely super boring if this is what you have to nit pick at. YTA. Don't be a creep and look the other way
    via u/Pancakesandbooks
  • glazedspacedonut ⚫ 2d ago • This strongly sounds like a personal problem. You have been watching her walk in routine for weeks to nit pick on something SHE was doing in HER space? Even fact that you're exaggerating her brushing her hair and making jokes of shedding like shes a animal makes you definitely TA.
    via u/glazedspacedonut
  • Then want to pikachu face when she dont acknowledge you when apparently she never really did nothing but sit across from you and brush her hair and minding her business....and you were the only one watching her routine nowyoure a creepy AH
    via u/glazedspacedonut
  • Pebbles197053 · 2d ago . So basically she's sitting at her computer and brushing her hair minding her own business. If it bothers you so much don't watch her.
    via u/Pebbles197053
  • lern2swim. 2d ago "I've definitely seen a few strands floating near my space" speaks volumes to me here. That feels like very deliberate phrasing to try and make this sound like it affects you when it probably actually doesn't. Because, if you'd
    via u/lern2swim
  • ever found a single hair on your space I think you would have explicitly said so. Is it weird that she's always doing this? Sure. But it doesn't actually affect you and you seem to have some weird hangup about it. There's nothing inherently gross about what she's doing. You're the a hle.
    via u/lern2swim
  • Altruistic_Yellow387 2d ago Is her hair dirty? Why would it be unhygienic? I see why she's cold to you, she thinks you're being weird and doesn't want to have any additional negative interactions with you
    via u/Altruistic_Yellow387

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boss antiwork workplace-stories hair brushing toxic-workplace job desk bosses work coworkers hair brush working reddit story toxic-boss workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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