43-year-old mom spends 20-year-old daughter's college tuition on gambling debts, pressures her to not tell her dad about it: 'If my tuition isn't paid by 6 PM, I lose my slot'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 26, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's of the utmost importance that you know exactly where your money goes. You might be able to save a little here and there and manage not to go into debt, but if you're spending more of your take-home pay on tickets to sporting events than you are on groceries, you might have your priorities mixed up. If you don't have a specific plan for exactly how much you're spending every month on which item, you can go a little out of control and start spending money that's needed for necessities on luxuries. 

It's one thing to spend your own money carelessly, but spending money that was set aside for your kids' care or education is lowkey diabolical. Spending money that's not yours is stealing, even if the money goes through you. There's no good reason to take money meant for important things, like education, and spend it on gambling, which is often equivalent to flushing money down the drain.

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  • The mom in this story does not respect her husband, nor does she care enough about her daughter's college education. She took the $1000 reserved for securing her daughter's spot in her class and used most of it to repay old gambling debts. Not only that, but she lied to her husband about it and pressured her daughter to do the same. She told her daughter that if she told her father the truth, their marriage would be in significant jeopardy, and it'd be her fault.

  • Cheezburger Image 10546764544
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy if I expose my mom’s money problems to my dad after she spent my tuition?

    I (20F) have always supported my mom (43F), even financially, and I usually try to understand her side. My dad (44M) works overseas and sends money twice a month for groceries, bills, and school. He usually sends it to my mom, who then distributes it.
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Earlier this month, my dad came home after working abroad for six months. He had all our expenses mapped out, including my tuition since I'm an incoming second- year aeronautical engineering student (which is really expensive where I live). He gave my mom around $1,000 for my enrollment fee (and that is like 60% of the whole tuition fee).
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • What my dad didn't know was that I still had a $350 balance from my previous semester. My mom used part of the $1,000 for that balance, and I agreed not to tell my dad because I trusted she'd figure out a way to cover the rest.
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Fast forward to last week: | finished my documents, reserved my enrollment, and was waiting for the tuition payment. That's when I found out my mom had already used the remaining money for reasons she won't explain. She's been trying to
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • recoup it, but nothing has come through. Prior to that, she told me she'll never touch my enrollment money since it'll be hard to recover.
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Today is the last day of late enrollment. If my tuition isn't paid by 6 PM, I lose my slot. I've already missed two weeks of classes (including major and lab subjects) and I completely broke down. I told my mom I'm tired of always having to compromise because she borrows or misuses money. I told her if this continues,
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • A woman sitting at a table holding a stack of money
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'll have no choice but to tell my dad everything: not just about my tuition, but also about her gambling and borrowing habits I've helped cover up for years.
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • The problem is, if I tell him, my parents will have a huge fight and he'll never trust her with money again. But I'm exhausted, and now my education is on the line. AITA if I finally tell my dad the truth?
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • TL;DR: Dad gave my mom $1,000 for my college enrollment. She used part of it to pay my previous semester's balance and spent the rest for unknown reasons. Now I'm about to lose my slot because tuition isn't paid, and I'm considering telling my dad the truth about her money mismanagement and gambling, even though it'll cause a huge fight. AITA?
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Totallyfreekingout Tell your dad. It sounds like she may have a gambling addiction. Either way, it's financial ab e imo. Your dad has a right to know what's happening with their money and to not be lied to.
    via u/Totallyfreekingout
  • MinnLovesTheSceneryy OP I actually considered telling him multiple times, but I'm just afraid of what the consequences will be as the last time this happened, they had a huge fight and dad wanted an itemized list of expenses. It was only recently he went lax and this is what happens
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Huntress145 They should have a fight, she should provide a list of expenses because she can't be trusted. Stop giving her money. Tell your dad right now to see if he can pay your tuition. Stop enabling your mother's bad decisions. This is on her, not you.
    via u/Huntress145
  • Ok-Raspberry7884 The consequences would have been a huge fight and your tuition paid.
    via u/Ok-Raspberry7884
  • MinnLovesTheSceneryy OP Update: my mom threatened me by saying if I tell my dad, there would be a huge fight and they might separate. And that dad won't want to see mom again
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • MinnLovesTheSceneryy OP Another update for y'all: Dad was doing his medical earlier and contract signing hence why I wasn't able to tell him (didn't wanna talk about it on the phone).
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • The moment he got home, I immediately told him about the situation, and while he was not mad at me, I could sense his disappointment which I understand. I explained the whole situation and after that, he went to confront my mom via call (since we're in the city and my mom is at our hometown). After a bit of grilling, mom eventually confessed that aside from using the money to pay back the money she owed other people, she did use some for gambling in hopes of having a higher return (which unfortu
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • 22 4 2 8 6 1 7 21 23 $ BAR PAY LINES LINE BET 22 BAR BAR BAR BAR BAR WIN PAID 7020 CREDIT TOTAL BET 75 25
    via Wesley Tingey (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They had a talk about it (I could sense that dad was holding back) and dad is now requesting a list of all the people she owed and how much though she has yet to reply. Dad also managed to find a way to get the funds for my enrollment. Fortunately, it didn't become a reason for them to separate though he has told me that he'd be sending the money directly to us (my siblings and I) from now on, especially our allowances. I have no idea regaridng the bills and groceries.
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • Anyway, thank you all so much for your insights as it helped me make the right choice (which I did and hopefully it helps mom to overcome her gambling and tendency to borrow from other people). I'd be reporting to school tomorrow and appeal if they could still slip me in an available slot and will update!
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • TrashyCat94 Covering for her is enabling her. If you want to help her, tell your father and both of you can get her into gambling or shopping addiction therapy. Going forward your father and you should be in charge of money.
    via u/TrashyCat94
  • MinnLovesTheSceneryy OP Already told dad about it, and I think they'll have a long talk once he goes back to our hometown (I study in the city 3-4 hours from there). But yeah he decided he'd be sending the money directly now instead of letting mom handle it (aside for groceries since my siblings are still young to do so, and he's back to work next month)
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy
  • AtmosphereLife503 Were you able to get the money to go back to school?
    via u/AtmosphereLife503
  • MinnLovesTheSceneryy OP Yupp
    via u/MinnLovesTheSceneryy

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family drama tuition money problems college student problems gambling parenting dad family mom money Parenting Fail college budget college student mother Father
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