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AITA for not wanting to buy a house for my girlfriend under her name only?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Strip the names off and the pattern sells itself. Security is valid, but security that requires someone else to relinquish all rights is a control strategy, not a plan. Gifts are voluntary; ultimatums are contracts with bad terms. If trust is so thin that the solution is to remove the other person from the title entirely, the problem is not the form at the registry, it is the foundation of the relationship. Money clarifies motive. Title equals power, payments equal risk, and the person carrying the mortgage should never be an unprotected donor to an asset they do not own. The adult fixes are simple and boring. No sole title for one partner on the other partner’s dime. Consider a prenup, a cohabitation agreement, a fair down payment split, or a rent arrangement, but never a deed that turns love into a clean transfer. If the only acceptable proof of devotion is giving away ownership, the request is not for partnership, it is for patronage. Boundaries protect both hearts and bank accounts, and the right answer stays the same even when the story tries to make it sound unromantic.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Boyfriend refuses his girlfriend’s demand he buy a house under her name only, offers joint ownership instead and triggers accusations that reveal trust issues: ‘‘She told me only putting her name would make her feel safe’
A one year relationship gets upgraded to a real estate test when the girlfriend asks for a house bought by him, titled to her, and framed as love, while he's still in university lining up income and offering to pay for everything on a shared deed.
The pitch is safety by sole ownership for her, distrust amortized into paperwork, and precedent courtesy of a mom who holds property her dad bought, with anger on tap when joint title doesn't feel romantic enough. The dynamic is clean and unflattering.
He offers to fund the asset, she wants the asset without his name, and the ask comes wrapped in future cheating hypotheticals and a moral audit of how much he "really cares," because nothing says affection like testing a partner's willingness to make a nonrefundable gift at market value. It is not about houses so much as leverage, not about safety so much as control.
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