27-year-old revokes her invitation for high school friends to stay over at her place during their visit to Japan after they refuse to include her in their trip: ‘It’s not our job to keep you from being lonely’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 28, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

If you lived abroad, away from all your friends and family, you would probably jump on the opportunity to see them whenever you get the chance, and you would think that they would feel the same.

For example, if your two best friends from high school were planning a trip to the country you now live in, wouldn't they want to see you? Even include you in some part of their trip, ensuring they have a good time while they have you around?

Well, when it comes to the friends in the story below, the answer is no, they do not want to see their friend who lives thousands of miles away from them. All they really want is free accommodation while they are staying in Japan, and they pretty much said that to their friend to her face.

Not willing to act as a hotel, this friend told them that they were no longer welcome in her home and even cut contact altogether, good for her!

Scroll down to read the full story and let us know what you would do in the comments below.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10546974720
    via JGalione

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for telling my friends they aren’t welcome at my house in Japan?

    I've been friends with a group of girls since HS. One M (F27) I was particularly close with. Also in our group was her best friend E (F27) who I never was fond of because I found her dramatic.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 03
    After finishing my undergrad I moved to Rome to do a masters. While there they told me they would be visiting Italy and wanted to do stuff with me.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 04
    I assumed they were staying in Rome for a while and said great, and asked them to fill me in on their plans so I could see if it worked around my school schedule.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 05
    They didn't, and ended up staying in Rome just 2 days and then traveled across Italy. I was hurt that they had implied they took this trip with me in mind, but then didn't account for me, but said whatever as it was ultimately their trip.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 06
    After Italy I moved to Japan. I got a job on the northern most island. They already had a trip to Japan planned before I moved so I wasn't expecting them to change their plans to visit me, but said I can fly down. to Tokyo (where they said they would be staying the whole time) over a weekend to see them.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 07
    They said great, but when it got closer to the trip they told me that the only weekend I could see them they were going to USJ Osaka. For me to go to Osaka would have been vastly more expensive and take more travel time so I passed.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 08
    I was hurt again but said whatever. Finally, M texts me in December and tells me she and E are coming to Japan in April and going. to Tokyo and Kyoto. I happened to move to a prefecture between these two cities and offered to let them stay at my house for a few days.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 09
    I also said multiple times that I was free (unemployed) and wanted to go around Japan with them. I just asked they kept me in the loop so I could plan things out for myself.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 10
    M said she was super excited and said of course. I made the mistake of then saying I had extended family visiting around the same time who also wanted to visit Tokyo and Kyoto and joked I'd be an expert after these two visits.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 11
    Months go by with no new info. One day E texts me and says bluntly "we'll be staying with you for (one night)." Then M texts me about tattoo coverings. I ask them what's going on with the trip and M says they booked everything already.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 12
    I said I thought I was joining them, and E responds bluntly again. with the dates they will be in Kyoto. M says she thought I didn't want to come because I was going to Kyoto with my family already (I wasn't) and to book at their hotel would cost me over $500.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 13
    Tokyo , Japan
    via kitchakron

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    I said nvm, and that this was the third strike. I told them I wasn't a hotel and they were no longer invited to my house. M apologized and said she always tried to account for everyone's emotions, and she had assumed I was going to Kyoto with my family and wouldn't want to go twice so soon.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 15
    I said I was tired of being led on. I later apologized for reacting so strongly, and said I did so because I miss my friends. E said it's not their job to keep me from being lonely, and that they always try and account for me. I cut contact after this.
    via Top_Acanthaceae_9714
  • 16
    hopingtothrive Those are not very nice people and not your friends. Don't look back. They left you out several times, haven't kept you in the loop and
    via hopingtothrive
  • 17
    were only going to use your house if it was convenient. The assumption about your family was 3. You made it very clear you wanted to join them on their travels. NTA. Probably should have cut them off sooner.
    via hopingtothrive
  • 18
    piglady82 They don't like you, they're not friends
    via piglady82
  • 19
    Numerous_Arrival_158 You did the right thing by cutting them off. M is a joke. She tried to account for everyone's emotion?? Clearly everyone means herself and E and you are always excluded. They don't see you as a friend and good for you to recognize that.
    via Numerous_Arrival_158
  • 20
    MaroochyRiverDreamin E&M "We are coming to your house." Any sensible person. "No you well are not."
    via MaroochyRiverDreamin
  • 21
    OfAnOldRepublic NAH You seem to misunderstand the nature of your relationship with these two. You seem to want it to be much more than it actually is, in spite of how often they have gently tried to show you the reality.
    via OfAnOldRepublic
  • 22
    It hurts, and can be very awkward when this happens, but I suggest that you listen to what they are trying to tell you. If you want to, take the time that they are offering you, and have fun. But don't try to push for more.
    via OfAnOldRepublic
  • 23
    Or, if you think that would be too awkward or painful, then just wish them the best for their trip. Either way, you sound like a nice person, so I hope that you can find real friends that want to spend time with you as much as you want to spend time with them.
    via OfAnOldRepublic

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