'I felt blindsided': Frustated son confronts parents' favoritism towards sister, after they prioritize dog-sitting for her over coming to support the birth of his newborn baby

Advertisement
  • 01
    "Dad acknowledged that my sister and I were treated differently, but brushed it off"
  • 02

    AITA for telling my parents they’ve shown favoritism, and now being essentially disowned after the birth of my second child?

    My wife and I just had our second child. Leading up to the birth, we had asked my parents to come support us a couple weeks after
  • 03
    the due date because our older daughter is starting kindergarten, which we knew would be a major transition for her.
  • 04
    My mom had been in communication with my wife earlier in the year about when they'd be most needed. It was
  • 05
    clear their presence that week would mean a lot. Then in June, my mom casually dropped that they had forgotten
  • 06
    they already committed to watching my sister's dogs while she and her husband took a vacation and they couldn't change it. I got upset and said I
  • 07
    felt blindsided. It kicked off a months-long back-and-forth where I tried to explain that this felt like another instance of my
  • 08
    sister being prioritized, something I've felt for most of my life, even if it was never explicitly acknowledged.
  • 09
    I tried again just recently to explain why this was painful and that it felt like I was being told, again, that I was less important. Dad acknowledged that my sister
  • 10
    and I were treated differently, but brushed it off as, "well, she was a girl and you were a boy" adding that I'd learn this as well (implying it was normal for different
  • 11
    treatment to reflect gender). As if that justified everything. My father eventually exploded in anger during the call and hung up on me, as I tried to explain a
  • 12
    few other circumstances that occurred and how it made me feel. Also pointed out that if things were reversed I would have received a "f no" and
  • 13
    knowledge of that alone would preclude me from even requesting they watch my dogs in lieu of being there for the birth of my siblings child.
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10548845312
  • 15
    Now I have no idea what to do. I feel like unless I completely accept their version of events, that they've always treated us equally, that this was just a
  • 16
    scheduling issue, then I'm effectively out of the family. So... AITA for not just letting it go, especially now that they're older and time with them is limited?
  • 17
    DrTeethPhD ΝΤΑ They've made their choice, let them accept the consequences. Don't call them. Don't text them pictures. Let them embrace being grandparents to your sister's dogs.
  • 18
    McflyThrowaway01 NTA With family like that, who needs enemies?
  • 19
    Coercitor My wife's parents are like this. Her mom will fly across the country to visit her son's kids, but can't be bothered to drive 45 mins to see ours. They blame us for not bringing our kid by so they don't have to drive. They don't even call on our child's birthday. We ended up just writing them off completely, it's not worth the trouble.
  • 20
    AlexiaBabi NTA. Your parents literally chose dogs over supporting you with a new baby and kindergarten transition. That's messed up, favoritism is favoritism and you calling it out doesn't make you the problem.
  • 21
    starchy2ber NTA. It sounds like this really bothers you, so you may find that not being part of your parents lives is freeing. They are not going to give you he validation your looking for, so its best to focus on your own growing family. You dont have to cut them out if that feels too much. Just drop the rope.
  • 22
    elizasees Too much drama. Let it go. Don't count on them for stuff. There is no cosmic justice for real or imagined favoritism.
  • 23
    Shdfx1 You told them, in words they understand, what the problem is, and how badly this pattern of behavior has hurt you. They are fully aware of what they are doing. They just don't care, and will not change. I suggest taking a break to clear your head, and then come to a decision with your wife after a few months.
  • 24
    downwardnote292 I'd say put the same amount of energy in your relationship with them as they do with you.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article