"Do you like him? He's our new son": 31-year-old gets his girlfriend a German Shepherd puppy that she doesn't want for her birthday, she asks him to return it, he says she has to keep it because of how much money he paid for it

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Sep 5, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

If you are anything like us, then you have spent a good chunk of your life wanting to adopt a dog. For the longest time, we couldn't do it. Adopting a dog comes with responsibilities. It takes time to take care of a dog, time that we didn't always have. It takes a certain level of maturity to take care of another being, something that we accepted that we didn't have during certain periods of our lives. It takes financial stability, because taking care of a dog is not cheap, and once you have the dog, you have to take care of it. 

So, it took us a long time to finally take that step and adopt the doggo that we always wanted. We waited. We made sure to do it when we could handle it - when we could actually be good dog owners. But not everyone does that. And the man in this story certainly didn't. He wanted a dog - one that he himself couldn't take care of. And he used his girlfriend's birthday as an excuse to get one - a dog for her to take care of alone, a dog that she did not want and was not willing to keep. 

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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for not wanting the puppy my bf bought for my birthday present?"

    photo of a German Shepherd puppy
    via Unsplash / Alexander Naglestad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So… getting a dog as a gift to someone is a horrible decision. It is and has always been. It's one thing when a parent does that for a kid, knowing that if the kid doesn't take care of the dog, the dog will be taken care of by the rest of the family. It's a completely different thing when you do it for a partner. 

  • 02
    For context: I (27F) have always had pets dogs, cats, even birds that fell from their nests I also rescued and re-home tons of animals But I've never kept a male pet. My mom didn't like them because of the whole "peeing everywhere" thing, and I guess I just got used to only having girl pets. Plus, I love using my dogs like pillows, and I'll admit the doggy boy parts that are always a little too present makes me uncomfortable.
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 03
    Anyway, I've had my dog let's call her luna since I was 17. She's my baby and she 100% rules my life. She's not really friendly with kids, other dogs, or most men, but she at least kinda likes my boyfriend (31M) of two years. So, my birthday was a couple weeks ago.
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 04
    My boyfriend told me he had a "surprise" but it wasn't ready yet. Last Friday, I came home from work and found him in my apartment with a two month old-ish German Shepherd male puppy that he Bought, complete with a balloon tied to its collar that said "Happy Birthday." He smiled and said, "Do you like him? He's our new son."
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 05
    I was shock the only words that came out were: Where's luna? He had locked MY dog in the bathroom because she growled at the puppy. I was furious. We argued for about two hours. I told him to take the puppy back with him and not to come back he yell some more and called me a "misandrist" before leaving because apparently not wanting male pets = hating men. He also said I was "weird" for being uncomfortable around dog peepees.
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 06
    When I told my friends and family, everyone sided with me however my boyfriend keeps sending me videos of the puppy, saying he doesn't know what to do with it since his apartment doesn't allow pets especially one that would grow so much and begging me to take it "just until he finds accommodations." He says I owe him because he spent so much money on the puppy and was planning the puppy to live with me anyway.
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 07
    But I don't want the puppy, my current dog definitely wouldn't accept him, and in the videos I can already see how destructive he's becoming in the other hand the poor puppy is innocent in all this should I just suck it up and keep him with me until my boyfriend (we technically didn't broke up yet) finds somewhere else to take him?
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 08
    Also the puppy represent everything I don't want in a pet, I feel like he just bought himself a dog but don't really want to take care of it so he acted like the puppy was my birthday present. So, AITA for refusing to accept the puppy? Should I just take him in for a while?
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 09
    Edit to clarify some things: Some people seem to think I'm obsessed with dogs genitalia and lol I'm not the issues with the puppy ranking are:
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 10
    1. I don't want another dog because I have a dog 2. I don't want to raise a puppy ever again 3. I don't want to own a dog that was bought 4. I don't like large breeds 5. I don't want a male dog because | prefer female dogs
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 11
    homelyhaddock825 nta. Pets are not "gifts" and for him to be so irresponsible and think he can just buy a living being FOR SOMEONE ELSE is insane. He's clearly impulsive and selfish. At his old age? Run lol
    via homelyhaddock825
  • 12
    photo of a German Shepherd puppy
    via Unsplash / 12photostory

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Honestly, we don't know if it is for you, but this would be a deal breaker for us. This just shows that this man knew nothing about you. Or he knew and he didn't care. This pet was just about the worst thing that he could have brought you for your birthday, and he did it anyway. 

  • 13
    PinkPaintedSky NTA. Get got "you" a puppy that will be "both" of yours. But you are the one that had to house, feed, and train it. He wanted the dog and wants you to do all the work. He can easily find a great home for the dog. Don't let him guilt you.
    via PinkPaintedSky
  • 14
    Loose-Zebra435 He bought the dog. He can take it back to the breeder
    via Loose-Zebra435
  • 15
    tiffi_333 Wow. First NTA. Noone should surprise anyone with a pet ever. Pets are huge responsibilities and to drop one on someone without any discussion is a lot to expect. This also isn't how to bring another pet into your home when you have a pet already, of course your dog freaked out. So he locked your dog in the bathroom? Don't take this dog back and deal with a puppy and your dog fighting because their introduction was awful.
    via tiffi_333
  • 16
    He totally wanted a little boy puppy and tried to force one on you as a disguise as a gift. Meanwhile the dog is living at your apartment because he can't actually have one himself like he wants so you're paying for everything and doing all the work. Being a dog owner is a ton of work, especially with a puppy. If you take this dog in he won't be searching for a new home for that dog, he will be hoping you get attached and the more you push for it the more you will fight and when you finally find
    via tiffi_333
  • 17
    cicada_supremacy OP When I got Luna she was so little I had to wake up every two hours to feed her and give her meds, luckily I wss on break from school so I have the time to do it all and although it was worth it I swore to never raise a puppy ever again and he knows that story
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 18
    photo of a German Shepherd puppy
    via Unsplash / 12photostory

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    New_Improvement9644 I am having trouble getting past the part of locking Luna in the bathroom. Didn't her behavior toward the puppy mean anything to him? He didn't see that as an issue? Did he expect Luna to stay locked up? These thoughts make me think your BF is only an animal person as the stand-by person, meaning not as the person who feeds, walks, takes care of the pet but the person who comes over often and gets to enjoy all the good parts of the pet. He has no clue what it means to be a do
    via New_Improvement9644
  • 20
    cicada_supremacy OP He said we will work on their relationship with time and he would get the puppy a crate, I never own big dogs so I don't know how that work but that sounded so sad too
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 21
    New_Improvement9644 He can work on their relationship when he brings the puppy to visit. He has a lot of work (like 2 years worth) to get the puppy past all the hard parts and into dog-dom. And he needs to move to a pet friendly apartment to make all this work. It's the assumption he made that you would do all the hard parts while he gets the fun parts that has me concerned.....like, would he be that way with a kid?
    via New_Improvement9644
  • 22
    cicada_supremacy OP I didn't asked much because I was so angry but it seems like yeah, he would pay for some stuff but I'll be the one taking care of the dog, and idk about kids because I'm child free and we agreed on zero kids
    via cicada_supremacy
  • 23
    photo of a German Shepherd puppy
    via Unsplash / Alexander Naglestad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 24
    Gigglemage The fact he called it "Our son." And expects you to do all the work while he gets the fun parts speaks volumes. Good thing you agreed on no kids. Yes the puppy is an innocent in this. But it wasn't YOU who chose to intentionally bring the poor thing into a place it was knowingly not welcome, and the fact he did this to you and called it a gift is horrible. The puppy doesn't need to stay with you because it needs to go back to the breeder. If he's adamant on keeping it then tell him he
    via Gigglemage
  • 25
    cicada_supremacy OP Nothing this big but I always thought he was just impulsive when we were talking about making plans and sometimes he just booked something he liked better that my thing before talking to me, it lead to arguments before but I thought we resolved that
    via cicada_supremacy

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