‘You see what’s happening, right?’: 31-year-old professional calls out a totalitarian manager's workplace retaliation in front of HR, then she quits on the spot and reports him to the California Employment Bureau too

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  • Reported manager to HR. Manager retaliated with HR in the same room. I quit on the spot and reported the retaliation to the state. Let's see what happens!
  • Been at a new job for 3 months. The first two months, I literally had ZERO projects. Whatever, right? Some places are slow at times.
  • Not whatever. Got a manager who wanted me to perform like a scared intern when I am a 31-year-old woman with 10+ years of work experience.
  • When I asked him questions, he took this as a challenge. I believe because I wasn't into his "iron fist" type of management, and I asked questions and pushed back, he didn't like this and began to set me up to get fired.
  • After reporting to HR, HR seemed to actually take my side. They said, "we assigned him manager training. He needs to speak nicer to you. He needs to not single you out."
  • I thought, wow, a promising sign. Maybe he will take the training and clean up his act. Wrong.
  • For my 90-day performance review, he tells me, "let's meet in person to go over this." I told him I would like someone else present for this meeting. He said ok, and he invited HR himself.
  • I thought, there's no way this will go badly. If he's too harsh, it'll look like retaliation. I underestimated how little he thought this through.
  • In the 90-day performance review, IN FRONT OF HR, he gives me almost all poor ratings, insults my skills, and says, "we tried to train her, but she keeps making mistakes over and over."
  • I said, "I was only assigned a project two weeks ago. I think it's interesting that the last time we spoke in person, you didn't have anything to say about my work, but now, after I reported you to HR, you have all these negative comments."
  • Then the kicker - he LIED to them. - He said "I have caught Aries rolling her eyes at me several times." And gave me 1 star on interpersonal skills.
  • He had not even SPOKEN to me, in person, at all, since the HR report. This was a straight-up lie.
  • I recognized what was happening, thank god, and looked at HR: "you see what's happening, right? This looks really bad. This looks like retaliation." HR was silent.
  • I leaned back in my chair and realized it was time to quit. I said, "you know what... we can finish this 90-day review, but after, I'm done. This is my last day. I can't work with someone who micromanages and who LIES to HR. My character is being insulted and I will not stand for it."
  • That was pretty much the end of the performance review. I told HR I was going to consider an EEO. They said "you gotta do what you gotta do." Lol. K.
  • I told the manager that I thank him for the opportunity and wish things could be different. He said, "I wanted things to be different too, and I'd really like to work with you."
  • I said, "I don't want to work with you." He's red in the face and trying to stay calm, and I'm smiling and calm.
  • In the exit interview with the SAME HR ladies, I ask, "is he going to take his manager training?" They said, "yes, we're going to coach him. We see the issue. We're going to email his manager too."
  • So HR took my side both times, but only in front of me. I left with my pride intact, but I still reported these a h_les to the state (California) for retaliation. We'll see if anything comes of it.
  • The best part was watching him lose his cool in front of HR. He clearly didn't expect me to stand up for myself. He thought he was going to put a young woman "in her place" and put her in line.
  • Nope. Year 31 is the year of not taking this sh anymore. Thanks for reading!!
  • ErraticPhalanges Just for future reference for anyone that ends up in a similar situation, refer to the interaction as "creating a hostile work environment" and you're golden. That phrase gives HR a lot more leverage in building a case etc.
  • pareidoily ⚫ also recommend to record all meetings with your manager whether or not other people are present.

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