Parents tell daughter that she is too lazy to make it on her own, she refuses to house them when they go into debt years later: '[They] still treat me like a failure'

For many, buying a first home is much more than just a financial milestone; it's proof that all those long hours, sacrifices, and penny-pinching finally paid off. For one woman, closing on her very own house was especially meaningful as she grew up being told for years by her parents that she'd never make it on her own. Instead of celebrating her accomplishment, they laughed in her face when she announced that she was officially a homeowner. They belittled her, calling her lazy, and told her that it wouldn't last long.

Now, less than a year later, the tables have turned. Her parents are facing evictoin and want to more in "temporarily" with her and her boyfriend. Despite literally begging for her help, they continue treating her like a failure, making her less than enthusiastic to come to their aid. However, her siblings are piling on the guilt, insisting that it is her responsibility to take them in because she's the most successful. 

In the culture that I grew up in, parents usually move in with their kids. There is something of a reciprocal relationship in this arrangement; the parents get taken care of in their old age, and they help with childcare, housework, or even passing down family traditions. My grandmother lived with my dad's brother and help raise my cousins. But in this woman's case, her parents aren't offering companionship or help. Instead, they're bringing the same negativity and disrespect that pushed her away in the first place.

Author image for Ely Bulnes Ely Bulnes
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relationship advice family drama entitled parents adulting relationships parenting dad adulthood entitled family daughter mom parents entitled people
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