Creepy landlord schools 19-year-old female tenant on etiquette and body language against her will: 'Bro, you’re not my father, you’re not my teacher, you’re just my landlord.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Landlords are some of the easiest people to complain about. For those of us who aren't yet homeowners, they are the ones who have the most influence on whether we live in a nice place or not-so-nice place. It's one of those professions where the good ones are good, and the bad ones are so bad it can't be overstated. The best landlords don't raise your rent for years and don't throw a hissy fit when little things need to get fixed around the house. The worst ones refuse to fix even the most devastating problems, like a totally broken toilet or a lack of hot water. Whether the landlord or the tenant has more power has a lot more to do with the city you live in than anything else. Sometimes you have to deal with a shady landlord for a year because you can't afford to break your lease and move elsewhere.

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  • The landlord in this story isn't a bad landlord because he won't fix the leaky ceiling. He's an evil landlord because he won't stop giving his young female tenant unsolicited advice about etiquette and body language, despite her evident reluctance to hear it.

  • A man with glasses
    via Maxim Mogilevskiy

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 27-year-old landlord lectures me (19F) about tone, body language, and etiquette. I had enough.

    So I (19F) live in a rented flat. My landlord is 27/28 and acts like he's some guru of manners. For the last three times he's cornered me with lectures about my "etiquette, tone, body language". Like bro, you're not my father, you're not my teacher, you're just my landlord. I pay rent, that's where our relationship ends.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • He loves to talk in this fake low voice like it makes him sound wise. But the reality? Speaking bulls quietly doesn't make you deep, it makes you pathetic. Then the second my voice is louder than his, suddenly I'm disrespectful. No, what's really disrespectful is a man old enough to know better trying to police a 19-year-old girl's tone like he owns her.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • Woman wearing blue and white floral spaghetti strap dress
    via Leyli Nova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He even drags in random people saying "others said things about you". I literally don't talk to anyone here. If they have an issue, they can come to me directly. Not whisper behind my back to him like kids in a playground. Then he tried scaring
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • me by saying he kicked out another woman tenant because of her behavior. Yeah right. I'm 99% sure it was HIS behavior, not hers.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • A woman with curly hear wearing a tank top
    via Meg Aghamyan (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • And let's talk about the bills. When I moved in, I barely used anything (just a ceiling fan), still got slapped with a 600 electricity bill. Meanwhile he runs a fridge + every appliance, but somehow I'm the issue? Then he suddenly decided there's a water bill from the start that he never mentioned. And when I asked
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • how much, he called it a "useless question." Like dude, how the f am I supposed to pay if you won't even tell me the amount?
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • Butterscotch|l|1523 The guy sounds scary. I'd start documenting everything, and I would also talk to the building owner. There's also tenant rights groups around to get advice. What he's doing is beyond inappropriate.
    via u/Butterscotchlll1523
  • Additional-Appeal400 Exactly documenting everything is key and reaching out for advice from tenant rights groups can protect you. No one should feel intimidated in their own home.
    via u/Additional-Appeal400
  • Butterscotch|||1523 Get Screen shots of all texts. Print out emails. Keep a file. I'm not sure where you live, but if your state has one party consent, you can actually record him without him, knowing. Just turn on your phone recorder and get audio recording every time he makes his comments.
    via u/ButterscotchIII1523
  • fifthstumpball OP Yeah, literally he said to me. Word for word: "Education makes you easy, it lowers your tone, makes you easier to talk to. But it's the opposite for you. I'm not judging, but this will decide your future."
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • Like, imagine the arrogance. He's basically saying my "tone" cancels out my education and will ruin my future. Bro, you're a 27-year-old landlord lecturing a 19-year-old girl about her voice frequency as if you're my career counselor. That's not wisdom, that's condescension.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • And the “I'm not judging" line? Please. That's the oldest trick,he literally judges me the whole time, then hides behind “I'm not judging" to sound noble. If you're not judging, why are you monitoring my tone, my body language, my etiquette, and acting like it's your job to fix me? That's not education, that's obsession.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • OGrinderBoy Weird way of interacting. Can you easily move out?
    via u/OGrinderBoy
  • fifthstumpball OP I'd move if I could, but right now everything around here is fully booked. There just aren't enough available places.
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • johnnyclash42 Every time he approaches, start recording at least audio if not video. He has zero right to engage you in this way. Regarding the bills, is water in your lease? If not, it would seem it's not your bill to pay.
    via u/johnnyclash42
  • fifthstumpball OP Water is not in my lease
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • johnnyclash42 If it's not in your lease, I'm sure whatever local/city group has rent rules and enforcement will be glad to help.
    via u/johnnyclash42
  • FunnyAnchor123 The landlord is definitely misbehaving here; I suspect he's prejudiced agains any single women living there, or is looking to force them to give him favors. (Yes, those kinds of favors.) Since I can tell from your currency you don't live in the same country as I, all I can suggest is to find someone local who can advise you how to respond to this j. Maybe you have legal recourse, maybe your only option is to move out.
    via u/FunnyAnchor123
  • lun4d0r4 Make sure there are no payments made for ANYTHING with cash. Transfer or bank cheque only so you have proof of payments.
    via u/lun4d0r4
  • Dildo_Emporium I don't understand why there is space to interact with him. Are you renting a single room from him or sharing an accommodations somehow? Is there some reason that you feel compelled to even be in his presence long enough for him to lecture you, or that you can't leave when he begins?
    via u/D****_Emporium
  • fifthstumpball OP I rent the top floor of the building, and my landlord lives downstairs, so sometimes there's unavoidable interaction. It's not like I'm hanging out with him, he just makes it a point to stop me, start conversations, or comment on my tone/etiquette even if I'm just passing by. I don't seek him out, and I don't owe him my presence, but when it's your landlord you can't exactly slam the door in his face every time. That's why it feels so intrusive and frustrating,im literally just
    via u/fifthstumpball
  • Dildo_Emporium You absolutely can slam the door in his face every time, and you should. 'Hey, sorry to interrupt you, is this anything related to the apartment or my tenancy? No? All right have a good day goodbye' and then leave.
    via u/D****_Emporium

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bad landlords landlord creepy tenant weirdo apartments bad landlord etiquette entitled education Reddit body language weird entitled people apartment
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