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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Sep 22, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

If there were a job where you got paid $300k annually, worked 1 day a month, and got to dump all of your workplace responsibilities on your underlings, that would be the perfect career path. Oh, wait—that job description already exists, you just have to become a CEO!

Failing to attach a PDF to an email may be a job requirement for a CEO, but achieving the ultimate seat at a company is tougher than it looks. That pesky glass ceiling has proven to be the greatest barrier for underling workers to pierce into their dream job's hiring market. How does one become a CEO? Beats me, but it seems like every C-level employee has something in common: Loads of charisma, an arsenal of immaculately tailored suits, and a whole slew of CEO friends. Perhaps the key to your dream job isn't working harder in the workplace, slogging through paperwork, and staying to work overtime. All you need to do is befriend some other CEO's, buy nice clothes, and work on your elevator pitches. 

Once you've mastered that, forget everything you know about basic computer use and the entire G-Suite, and you'll be on the fast track to greatness in your career. Until then, however, you can join the rest of us in the workforce, commuting on trains, making sandwiches for lunch, and dreaming of the vacation we planned with our meager PTO accrual. 

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