25-year-old California single mom of 4-year-old, fed up living with messy 19-year-old roommate and her boyfriend decides not to renew the lease without them: ‘I know I can’t evict them or anything, but they should be the ones to move out’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Sep 24, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Roommate roulette has a way of revealing who learned life skills in an actual apartment and who still lives like the world is a never-ending group project at their parents' house. The current lease is a daily parade of ignored chores, a boyfriend with VIP squatter status, and uncaring food delivery logistics that leave groceries stranded in plain sight while utilities balloon like the landlord's headache. A full-time single parent manages work, split custody, and apartment basics while the supposed cohabitants treat dishes and trash as spontaneous phenomena, refusing to interact with shared space unless prompted by direct request or public shaming.

Advertisement

  • How to tell my roommate I don’t want to renew my lease with her and she needs to move out

    Cheezburger Image 10556594944
    via Srdjan Randjelovic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Throwaway because my roommate knows about my main. So I (25F) am not sure how to tell my my roommate (19F) that I don't want to renew the lease with her but I don't plan on moving out (I've been here two years and found the place, and she replaced my previous roommate when they moved in with their girlfriend last year).
    via Plastic-Spirit6410

  • The setup is almost comedic in its predictability: the person who actually found the place, owns all the furniture, pays the bills, and built a relationship with the landlord now faces the prospect of telling a barely present nineteen-year-old and her lounge lizard boyfriend that the next renewal will be happening without their signatures. Everyone else in town would fight for this unit, having survived nightmare landlords and learned what responsible adulting means, but the current duo remains blissfully unaware that basic roommate etiquette even exists. The dilemma isn’t about fairness, it’s about reclaiming quality of life, setting a gentle deadline, and letting the search for functional roommates begin while everyone else figures out the price of independence one eviction notice or new lease at a time.

  • Her and her boyfriend (18M - he's not on the lease but basically lives here cuz he's over ALL THE | TIME) are roommates.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Her boyfriend doesn't do ANYTHING to contribute besides help pay for utilities because they've gone up A LOT since he's over all the time.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • They don't clean and pretty much stay in their room. When they do clean it's to take the trash when I ask her to (because I've done all the other cleaning in the house), and I have to remind her several times to do it.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410

  • get packing roomy!

    Cheezburger Image 10556606976
    via gpointstudio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • They sometimes cook food but don't clean their dishes after. I have split custody of my 4 year old and work full time (my bedroom is big so my kid has their own bed to sleep in when they're here), so I'm also not the best at keeping up with the dishes, but I'm still the one to do them and other chores around the house like clean the bathroom and vacuum and stuff.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • They also just leave my packages or groceries that have been delivered on the doorstep when they get home or leave, like literally step over it.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • One time I had a lot of groceries delivered and it got delivered sooner than I thought so I wasn't home, but they were, and they left to get food shortly after the delivery and saw the groceries (it was mostly soda - like six 24 packs - and snacks for a bday party I was helping host at the apartment clubhouse) and just walked by them.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Her boyfriend even pointed out how much stuff I'd gotten. I know this because we have a doorbell camera and got notified that the groceries had arrived and then saw them leave like ten minutes later.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Work had also been busy so I didn't even see the doorbell alert or groceries until like an hour after it all happened.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Cheezburger Image 10556607232
    via goodluz

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I probably should have let her know stuff was being delivered at some point in the day and to bring them in when they got there, but again work had busy and I wasn't even able to check my notifications or able to send a text or and they'd already left by the time I had a chance to look at my phone.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • The place I'm in now is a steal. Rent is way cheaper than other places in the area that are the same size, and the perks are great (new really nice washer and dryer in unit, neighbors are great (I'm friends with them but my roommates aren't), we have a pool and hot tub in the complex, and water and trash are paid by the landlord so we only pay for internet and electricity.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • My dilemma is that I'm not sure how to tell my roommate and her boyfriend that I don't want to renew the lease with them and would like them to move out when the lease ends (it ends in Feb so they'd have more than enough time to find a new place).
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • I know I can't evict them or anything, but I feel like since I found the place and have built a relationship with the landlord and have been here longer, that they should be the ones to move out.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • On top of that, I have some good friends who are looking to move to the town I live in (we work together and they want to live closer to work since they live over an hour away right now) and I was thinking of how much better of roommates they'd be (they're 25F and 28M) because they're responsible and know how to be roommates (current roommates lived with their parents previously), and was thinking of having them move in to replace my roommates.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • I can't afford this place completely on my own and they pay me their portion of rent and I just send a single check to our landlord, but the utilities are all in my name.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Everything else in the house is also mine (furniture, dishes, etc.) So how can I tell my roommates that I don't want to live with them anymore/renew the lease with them and want to possibly replace them when the lease is up for everyone?
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Sorry for such a long post, I just wanted to give as much context as I could and get stuff off my chest.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • EDIT: I am going to have a conversation with my roommate when she gets home tomorrow and let her know that I don't plan on renewing the lease with her.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Like many of you said, I don't need to provide a reason, but I'm prepared to tell her that my kid and I need our own space and would like to stay here and they can find a place of their own (which I know her boyfriend has talked to her about).
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Or they can always go live at her boyfriend's parents house where they stayed before living with me.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Weak-Assignment5091 You just tell them that at the end of the lease term that you'll be taking the whole apartment as your child is getting bigger and needs their own bedroom. Chances are damned good that they can't afford to keep that place on their own either and don't have the credit or income to secure the place on their own. Plus, they won't know one way or another if your child actually takes the room or if you get another roomate and frankly it's none of their business either. Just lie. I
    via Weak-Assignment5091
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 She's on the lease, but her bf isn't.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • sn000zy You're going to have to just sit them down and tell them. Sooner than later. Also, look at the laws in your area and find out what your rights are and what their rights are in case they give you a hard time.
    via sn000zy
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 We're in California.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • cheetach Roommate is on the lease. So you both have an equal claim. Ask her if she wants to move out bc you are not renewing with her. If she says no, tell her she will have to pay everything bc you are leaving at the end of the lease.
    via cheetach
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 Since the utilities are all in my name, they'd have a hard time getting that set up under their names since it all requires a credit check, which neither of them have, so that would be something they'd have consider if they gave me push back about leaving.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Xizziano I had a roommate too. I lied and told him I was moving out so he would have to lol
    via Xizziano
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 Lol. This might honestly work with them. She really wants to have a cat too but the landlord is allergic, so that's been something that she's mentioned before about wanting to find a place where cats are allowed.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • LovedAJackass This is it. You need the extra bedroom for kiddo. They can't afford the apartment. If there is a studio or 1-bedroom that they can afford in the complex, suggest that. But I doubt the landlord will rent to people their age; they are unlikely to have the credit.
    via LovedAJackass
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 They both have zero credit. She doesn't even have her driver's license..
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Similar_Cranberry_23 Tell the landlord first, then tell her the lease is ending on whatever saying is and they will have to find a new place to stay. Your kid needs their own room. Be prepared for her to leave early, she may not like it and try to screw you over
    via Similar_Cranberry_23
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 I know she isn't the type of person who would leave early, so there's that at least. My kid needing their own room would probably work though.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Vivid_Motor_2341 They wouldn't have any issues or utility companies, not gonna not turn on utilities because of lack of credit. I've actually never heard of a credit score being needed for utilities to be put in someone's name.
    via Vivid_Motor_2341
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 Not saying they wouldn't be able to get things set up under their name, just that it'd be harder. PG&E here does a soft credit check but because of their age and lack of credit history, they'd likely need to put down a deposit, which I'm sure they don't have the funds to do, or wouldn't want to do that extra thing. They're also both pretty..... incompetent (there might be better word but nothing else comes to mind), but they both have zero real world experience. Like she go
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • DaDuchess-1025 If you have a relationship with the landlord, why don't you tell him you're looking for another unit, possibly more affordable. I understand needing a roommate in a HCOL but like it was stated she has equal rights to the apt.
    via DaDuchess-1025
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 We're renting privately and the landlord only has this one property.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • Weak-Assignment5091 It's probably for the best then that they find somewhere as a couple because they'll have a higher income combined. Somewhere that knows they come as a pair and can figure out costs based on that. I'm sure that even if her and her mom were on good terms, she would understand, as a mom herself, that it's a valid reason and a growing child will eventually need their own space. And that's true and probably something you'll need to look in to soon enough anyway. Is there a way fo
    via Weak-Assignment5091
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 I don't think so since that'd be subletting. I could always ask my landlord if they're ok with doing something like that though, but that's also a whole other can of worms.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410
  • ohemgee0309 Talk to your landlord *first*. And I'd put in a comment to the office kind of offhand like yeah, I'm *always* cleaning up after them. Bc leasing offices would rather have clean tenants than messy ones. My brothers work for management companies so they give me a lot of info. Mess can equal pests: mice, rats, insects that can adversely affect the entire complex. Plus if her BF is not on the lease? I'd bring that up, too. Maybe say you're not comfortable living with people who are not l
    via ohemgee0309
  • OP Plastic-Spirit6410 Unfortunately, we're renting privately and not through a leasing office.
    via Plastic-Spirit6410

  • There’s no need for sentiment or justifications where basic consideration is absent. Apartment living doesn’t owe anyone lifetime immunity from adult responsibility, and the real courtesy is giving early warning while quietly making arrangements that favor actual grown-ups over impulse shoppers with bedroom passports.

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

boyfriend friendship bad friend living with friends best friends friends public school 20-year-old private school girlfriend friend mean girls Party housemate renting roommates apartment
Scroll Down For The Next Article