‘She just left suddenly, with no goodbye, and took the cat’: Grandma asks 23-year-old grandson to co-parent the kitten he saved, only to run away with the cat when her health declines

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    Hi Reddit, this is my first post here so I apologize if my grammar is not perfect. I have been debating on posting this for a while, but I really need some outside perspective on a family situation.
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    I (23M) rescued a kitten back in October 2023. My dad and I heard a loud high pitched cry coming from our backyard. When I went out to check, I found a tiny 2 week old kitten
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    curled up, shaking, and completely covered in fleas. I brought her inside, bathed her, and my girlfriend and I cared for her with bottled milk, a heating pad, toys, a proper bed, and lots of love.
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    young man outdoors with a grey kitten on his back, looks back at it and smiles
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    My grandmother really wanted the kitten, but I was not ready to give her up. Instead, we wrote up a contract together where we agreed to co-parent the cat, splitting bills for food, vet visits, and essentials.
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    The agreement stated that if either of us fell ill or moved without notice, the contract would be broken. This worked fine for two years.
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    In the past six months though, things started to change. My grandmother's health declined. She has fallen asleep multiple times while cooking and once nearly set the house on fire. She left for Canada to visit family for a month,
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    then came back only to end up hospitalized and was even told she has dementia. Later she got a second opinion saying she did not, but my brother who works in dementia care insists she is showing all the signs.
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    Around this time, my parents who own the property told us they planned to sell the house due to the safety concerns in the city we live in. They
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    reassured my grandmother she could stay as long as she needed, or even move in with them until she got back on her feet. But instead of talking with us, I
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    came home from work one day to find she had completely moved out without saying a word, taking all her things including the cat.
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    I later learned she moved in with my aunt, for personal reasons my family and I have gone no contact with. The house was not even sold yet and it could have been months before she actually had to leave.
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    She just left suddenly, with no goodbye, and took the cat we had agreed to co- parent.
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    lonely grandma looking out of a window from inside a darkened apartment
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    Now I am torn. I rescued this cat as a baby, nursed her to health, and have been her co-owner for years. But my grandmother. clearly loves her too, even if her health is questionable. Would I be the as ole if I took the cat back?
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    Winter_Department_87 ⚫ It sounds like she can barely take care of herself. I would have a conversation with her, and then take the cat. ه 35 Reply
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    Tiffannne2019 ⚫ Maybe have a conversation with her first? It sounds like yall had a agreement and she moved which broke that agreement. Remind her of that and voice your concern for the animals wellbeing considering her health 20 20 ◇ Reply ...
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    bubblepearz ⚫ not even about who's right, It's more about what environment is safer. if grandma's falling asleep cooking, i'd worry about a pet being there. 16 16 > Reply
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    IndependentOld6501 ⚫ NT BUT you need to have an actual conversation with her first. Sounds like you both love the cat and want what is best for kitty. In this instance it sounds like that would be you.
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    Honestly I never would of co parented kitty to begin with she could have gotten one herself rather than taking time with yours and now regardless of what happens someones is going to be broken hearted missing their fur baby unless you can somehow live together.
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    She should never have just left and taken the cat though thats an❤l move. Hope you get your beautiful kitty back. ✩ 11 B Reply
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    Upstairs_Drawing_751 OP ⚫ I didn't have the choice to own and raise the cat. My father didn't want me to keep her because our family already had two cats, and he didn't want another one in the house. I disagreed, but he went
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    over my head and told my grandmother she could have the cat without even discussing it with me. I only found out when my grandmother thanked me for giving her the cat, even though the cat was still in my care. I was
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    confused and had to explain to her that I never agreed to give the cat up. It was actually my mother who suggested we co-parent the cat as a compromise which my grandmother was more than willing to do. وه ◇ Reply
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    young man and kitten indoors, man gently pets the cat and the cat gently paws at his nose
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    IndependentOld6501 I'm sorry that s_ks sounds like your dad kind of sks here too. If someone especially someone who i am supposed to trust and who is supposed to care about me literally gave away my pet I would probably never forgive them 8 ◇ Reply
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    EnonnieMoss1. NT Three reasons: 1: You have contract terms that she has failed to maintain.
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    2: A cat needs consistency. They pick their "person" in the first 30 days. Every time you changed custody, she had to keep changing her "person". This is unsettling for cats, and the only good thing is that it was only 2 people, so at least she was familiar.
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    3: And the best reason, it's for the cats safety. It will also take one additional responsibility off her plate.
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    Let her visit, you go to her or she comes to you. Don't give overnight visits, you can site a lack of litter, extra food, etc. But your cats life is worth it. You love them both. Do what you think is right for both of them.
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    If you need to phrase it as, Grandma let me help you. I want to make your life easier and give you less worry. Let me do that for you and (kitty's name). And I'll bring kitty to visit, etc
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    I know it's hard. Bring a cat mom myself, I know how you feel. Good luck. Enonnie Moss B ↑ 3 ◇ Reply

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