‘You’re just the help with a fancy knife set, don’t act like you’re above me’: Entitled charity gala guest causes a scene after catering chef refuses to make her a special off-menu pasta dish

You'd think charity events would bring out the good in people, namely, rich people, and specifically the good in rich people wallets. But as it turns out, some charity events bring out a unique class of guest who believes giving back means breaking out the pearls, bristling at the set menu, and treating event staff like a personal concierge service. The real action is never at the silent auction but in the way entitled attendees treat every staff boundary as optional and every denied request as a violation of their status. When the longing for truffle pasta trumps all other causes, it is less about hunger and more about the expectation that rules only apply to everyone else.

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    Entitled guest threatened my career over pasta at a charity event

    Cheezburger Image 10558138112
    via Drazen Zigic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • Event catering is designed around order and predictability. There is no room for winging it because one person can’t bear the thought of pasta that is not custom-made on demand. In these circles, status is currency, and wielding it means expecting others to rearrange their jobs, priorities, and best-laid contracts out of fear for their own reputations. For many at the top of the guest list, a gala is less a chance to show generosity and more an excuse to turn charity into theater, where drama over dinner is as dependable as the overpriced rental flowers.

  • 02
    I'm a 32F chef. I work in a restaurant but also get hired for big events - weddings, galas, fundraisers.
    via JitterTaco
  • 03
    These jobs aren't like restaurant service. Everything is decided weeks before: the menu, portions, prep. We don't just freestyle dishes for whoever asks, because it throws off service and breaks contract.
    via JitterTaco
  • 04
    Anyway, I was running plating at a charity gala last two weeks ago when this woman, maybe mid-40s, dripping in designer clothes, waves me over and demands truffle pasta.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 05
    It wasn't on the menu. I told her politely the menu was set and I couldn't make her something different.
    via JitterTaco
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10558141184
    via Pedro Ignacio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    She didn't hesitate to get angry immediately. Told me a real chef makes what the guest wants, then added; you're just the help with a fancy knife set, don't act like you're above me.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 08
    That one hurt more than I expected. I've been in kitchens over a decade. I've worked insane hours, burned myself, lost sleep, dealt with constant stress.
    via JitterTaco
  • 09
    And she boiled all of that down to just the help. But I bit my tongue and kept working.
    via JitterTaco
  • 10
    She didn't stop though. She kept coming back to me during service, complaining louder each time.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 11
    At one point she cornered me, telling me I'd ruined the vibe and that she'd make sure I never worked another gala again.
    via JitterTaco
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10558140672
    via Drazen Zigic

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    People actually overheard because she was raising her voice. I felt so small, like I wanted to disappear.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 14
    It got heated enough that my sous chef had to step in. Thankfully, the event coordinator had my back.
    via JitterTaco
  • 15
    They told her straight up I was doing my job as contracted and she was out of line.
    via JitterTaco
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    Still, word got back to me later that she's been talking trash about me to people in that same social circle calling me uncooperative and difficult.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 17
    In our business reputation is everything, so even though I know I did nothing wrong, it's terrifying that one entitled person can do real damage.
    via JitterTaco
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    And know what's wild..? This was a charity gala. She was there to support a cause but lost her mind over not getting custom pasta.
    via JitterTaco

  • Hospitality pros know that the loudest guest is often the one least interested in the actual cause. They learn quickly that defending the standards of service gets called out as uncooperative, and one tantrum behind the buffet can ripple through circles for months. For every moment spent prepping and perfecting, there is always the risk of being judged by people who see charity as a temporary pause in their regular programming of entitlement. In the end, a chef’s toughest job at a fundraiser is serving grace to people determined to test its limits.

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    Revolutionary Diet686 Don't let it bother you. She more than likely acts like this all of the time. People who know her won't pay any attention to her complaints about you.
    via RevolutionaryDiet686
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  • 20
    OP Jitter Taco Yeah, you're probably right. It just really shook me in the moment because I've worked so hard to build my reputation and it felt like she was trying to tear it down in seconds. I'm trying to remind myself that people who actually know me and know this industry won't take her seriously.
    via JitterTaco
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    killdagrrrl I work for a charity. That kind of people appears from time to time. And they do bad mouth. The thing is, the rest of us are not blind, we know that when that kind of people say something bad, it's probably their own fault
    via killdagrrrl
  • 22
    OP Jitter Taco Thank you for saying that. Honestly, it helps a lot to hear it from someone who also works in the charity world. In the moment it felt like her words could crush me, but you're right! People usually see through that kind of behavior. It's comforting to know others notice when the problem is really them.
    via JitterTaco
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  • 23
    LustInme88 it's just pasta, ain't a Michelin star resto or somethin'. Imma tell ya, some people got way too big for their britches.
    via LustInme88
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    OP JitterTaco Right?? That's what blows my mind. It was pasta. Not life or death, not even a Michelin tasting menu. Just a set gala dinner. I'll never understand how people can act like the world revolves around their cravings.
    via JitterTaco
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    QuirkyPeeps Exactly. Anyone who thinks they can order à la carte at a gala has already told the room they've never been to a real event in their life.
    via QuirkyPeeps
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  • 26
    GleeFroth Honestly, if she pulls that stunt everywhere she goes, her opinion's worth less than the garnish she throws a tantrum over
    via GleeFroth
  • 27
    gay_prawn Yep, anyone who knows her probably isn't surprised. She really acted like a charity gala was her own personal restaurant menu.
    via gay_prawn
  • 28
    BubblyCrank Exactly. When a known drama queen starts trash-talking, it usually says more about them than whoever they're talking about. Everyone else just nods politely and ignores it.
    via BubblyCrank
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  • 29
    NYC-WhWmn-ov50 People who behave like that should be publicly shamed by those around them. There is no excuse to treat people like sh just because you think you're somebody. No amount of money makes you anyone that matters if you dont have the brains and skills to back it up. Even then its no excuse to be an a h le.
    via NYC-WhWmn-ov50
  • 30
    Coder Joe1 I would've capitulated by offering, "If you donate $10,000 to this charity, I'll run out and fetch the ingredients to make it for you."
    via Coder Joe1

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