‘She can't stay here’: Grandmother refuses to listen to parents' house rules while she visits grandkids, leading mom to demand she won't stay the night again

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 30, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Who doesn't love it when their grandparents come to visit? They always come bearing gifts, convince your parents to let you skip curfew, and bring a fun energy that you can't ignore. Grandparents are the best.

At least, that is the attitude towards grandparents from the kids' point of view, the other one, from the parents' point of view, is less friendly towaus grandparents. The parents don't care about the fun gift; they care that the grandparents brought candy and chocolate along. They care that bedtime becomes a suggestion, and that their kids refuse to listen to any of the rules they were perfectly fine with before their grandparents popped in for a visit.

That is exactly the case of the mother in the story below. Every time her mother-in-law visits, she refuses to adhere to any of the parenting rules they spent so long teaching the children. In fact, she ignores the rules so often that the daughter-in-law refuses to let her stay in her home anymore.

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  • Is that too far, or is the mom justified in her actions? Keep scrolling to read the full story and let us know what you think in the comments below.

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10559141120
    via evgenyatamanenko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to let my MIL stay at our house after she tried to override my parenting rules?

    Last month my MIL came to stay with us for a few days. I just had my second baby, and I was exhausted, so at first I was grateful.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 03
    But instead of helping, she constantly dismissed my parenting choices. I'm pretty firm about routines, bedtime, no sweets before meals, and no screen time before naps.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 04
    She constantly ignored my rules. She'd sneak candy and chocolates to my child before dinner, put on cartoons too much when I specifically said no, and even kept him up past bedtime.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 05
    I confronted her and asked her to respect the rules we set as parents, but she dismissed me and said I was being too controlling.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 06
    I was done. I told my husband that if she couldn't respect how we choose to raise our kids, she couldn't stay here.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 07
    When she asked to come back for another week, I told her no. I said she can visit during the day, but I won't have her living under our roof if she won't follow the rules we set for our children.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 08
    My husband thinks I overreacted, and my MIL is acting like I'm keeping her from seeing her grandchild.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 09
    I said she's always welcome to visit, just not live in our house if she can't follow our rules.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10559142400
    via Rido

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    Rode-Royal-5043 NTA. Set the boundaries now. It's simple when you are in someone else's home you respect the rules even if you don't agree with them it's not her house to change them and disregard them. I bet she wouldn't like it if you walked into her home and decided to what you wanted against her wishes.
    via R*de-Royal-5043
  • 12
    OP Vanlanham Rophin65 Right? I would never walk into her house and ignore her rules, so I expect the same in mine.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 13
    hereforthejokes20 You have a husband problem as well as an MIL problem. You need to ask how he'd feel if you completely overrode his parenting if it wasn't for the fact that it'd confuse your child I'd actually do it a time or two! He needs to have your back on this. As for MIL, she needs to learn that help is only help when its needed. You don't need her type of help.
    via hereforthejokes20
  • 14
    OP Vanlanham Rophin65 I couldn't agree more. Instead he makes things harder.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 15
    Life_Buy_5059 Well done. Actions have consequences
    via Life_Buy_5059
  • 16
    OP Vanlanham Rophin65 I couldn't agree more
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 17
    NaughtyByWiFi33 nah u were right to draw that line... ppl forget respect goes both ways n being grandma doesn't mean free pass to parent ur kids
    via NaughtyByWiFi33
  • 18
    OP Vanlanham Rophin65 She spoils the kids, and I don't think that's the right approach.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 19
    hengehanger Nta and if your husband wants her to stay, put him and his mum in charge of the kids.
    via hengehanger
  • 20
    OP Vanlanham Rophin65 Yes, that's fair enough.
    via VanlanhamRophin65
  • 21
    Couette-Couette Specially when rules are pretty standard like no sweets before meals...
    via Couette-Couette
  • 22
    VelvetRaptured tbh letting her stay again would just teach her she can walk all over u dont bend ur rules for "family"
    via VelvetRaptured
  • 23
    Novel_Ad1943 NTA and THAT is how it's done and so refreshing to read. Husband and MIL can each feel however they feel - not your problem. MIL isn't the mom and has one job love on her grandkids without making life harder for new mom! It doesn't require sabotaging sleep or appetite. Not to mention, if your son refused healthy food or fought bedtime, she'd judge all over that in a hot minute! Husband is clearly happy with the parenting choices you've both made outside of this visit. So he either s
    via Novel_Ad1943
  • 24
    Dark-Temptress09 this is one of those things where u either set the line now or ur stuck fighting it for yrs straight up
    via Dark-Temptress09
  • 25
    CuteYou676 NTA, but you're dealing with a husband problem too if he thinks you overreacted. Let me guess... You're home, you deal with a wired up and exhausted toddler but he never sees it so it's not a big deal to him. Tell him that he needs to back you up, and help you keep the rules in place, despite the fact that it's his mommy torching them. Ask him how he'd feel if it was anybody else in the world doing this...
    via CuteYou676

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