Sister-in-law 'accidentally' leaks 26-year-old bride's pregnancy, bride un-invites her to the wedding: 'I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it'

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  • A pregnant woman holds baby shoes, her husband holds her hands.
  • Am I in the wrong for uninviting my sister- in-law from my wedding after she leaked my pregnancy?

    I (26F) am 10 weeks pregnant. My partner (28M) and I told our immediate families early but made it VERY clear we weren't telling anyone else until after the first trimester.
  • Last night, my fiancé's sister (29F) posted a story on instagram. It was a "get ready with me" for a family dinner we had LAST weekend. She then causally indirectly talks about becoming an auntie..She tagged me and my fiancé.
  • I saw it when I got a notification that I was tagged. I had over 50 messages from distant friends and coworkers before I could even process it. We hadn't even told our friends yet.
  • I was totally mad, called her screaming. She tried to say it was "an accident" and that she "forgot" and she was just teasing. I told her she was uninvited from our wedding. She cried, my future in-laws are furious, saying I'm overreacting and "ruining the family" over a "silly social media post." They say I should just be happy people are excited. My fiancé is on my side
  • A pregnant woman wears a white dress and holds a bouquet.
  • Commenters agreed that this was a bad decision on the sister-in-law's end.

    Niccon43 6h ago NTA not only did she go against your wishes, she also took away your joy of making that announcement yourselves.
  • red-purple- 6h ago . It wasn't an accident. She made a social media post. That was on purpose. There really isn't any coming back from that in regards to your relationship with her. She's basically ruined that forever. You cannot trust her just remember that.
  • As far as uninviting her from your wedding, I get it. I may have gone the root of removing her from the wedding party and making her just a plain old guest. Also, lesson learned. Don't tell anyone about any future pregnancies or anything that you don't want people to know, until you actually want them to know.
  • Dragonchief2182 · 6h ago So was it an accident or was she teasing, cause I'm pretty sure those would contradict each other here. I'm not so convinced this was exalted an accident. And if that's the case, I wouldn't want someone like that around in general, not just at my wedding.
  • JustAslCanBeSoCruel 6h ago NTa, and your in-laws reaction says it all. You made it clear you wanted NO ONE to know other than those you personally told. After your SiL told everyone, your in-laws said you should just be happy people are excited.
  • I would seriously rethink how involved I want them in my child's life after this. Apparently, your boundaries and wants mean nothing to them.
  • FollowThisNutter · 6h ago NTA. At all. However, IF you want to calm the family ruckus down, you could offer her a chance to earn her invite back. All she would have to do is delete the post and make another apologizing for sharing news she knew she shouldn't, just to get likes and comments. The new post has to go up immediately and stay up through the wedding. If she does that, she can attend.
  • scratchypancake · 5h ago NTA. You can't get what should have been a joyful moment back. There will be many more, but she had no right to take this from you and your fiancé. It clearly wasn't an accident, she chose to post and tag you.
  • I would only rethink about re inviting her to your wedding if she gives you a true, full apology and this is not one of a pattern of similar issues. Congratulations on the pregnancy and upcoming marriage I hope it goes smoothly for you, and things. with the in-laws calm down soon.
  • MmaRamotsweOS 6h ago • NTA Your wedding, your guest list. Your fiance is in your side and that is all you need
  • lovesorangesoda636 5h ago NTA You don't accidentally film. yourself getting ready and then accidentally talk about becoming an auntie. You also don't then accidentally tag people in your instagram story.
  • She knew you wanted it kept private, she just didn't care. If she had actually forgotten, she would be apologising to you.
  • Gloomy-Kaleidosco... . 6h ago While I think you are NTA for being upset, univiting her based on this one issue seems over reactive. You are marrying into this family, it is worth potential lifelong resentment? However, if future SIL has a habit of this sort of attention seeking behavior at the expense of others, then it is a different story.
  • ThorsHammerMew... NTA . 6h ago But you could've also just not told anyone yet until you were ready to let the world know.
  • V-King3000 • 5h ago NTA your sister in law needs to learn consequence. You don't just make a video and make an announcement. She's an idiot and needs to learn how not to be.
  • CaptainFartHole • 6h ago . ESH. She shouldn't have said anything, but telling a bunch of people big news and then expecting them to keep it a secret is a really dumb move. And uninviting her from the wedding is a pretty ridiculous reaction unless this is something she frequently does. To quote Benjamin Franklin, "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are de d."
  • DubiousPeoplePlea... • 5h ago She wants online attention then fine. Make a "silly little media post". Don't mention her name, just make it obvious that it's her, and tag her. Just a normal social media post where you casually mention that there is someone in your life you've had to distance yourself from, until she's got her little problem under control.
  • "It's so sad seeing someone you love do this to themselves. We've tried to help, but she refuses. And in the end we have had to take a step back to protect ourselves until she gets better."
  • Never say anything she can call you out on. If anyone asks you for specifics "it's not your place to say." Never mention names or identifying markers. If she calls you out, don't deny. Play the concerned SIL part. If she gets nasty, play the victim." It's so hard when she gets this way. I just wish she would get some help."
  • Genuine Engineer72 5h ago • That's super annoying, and you're not TA. She's not someone you can trust moving forward, keep her at arms length. But for the sake of your families relationships, consider a test. Phone her to apologise, reinstate her invitation, and back these
  • both up on writing or as texts. See how she responds, if she then genuinely apologises them she has a future as an auntie. If she doesn't, never forget her actions and appropriateness as an aunty. Do you want someone so selfish caring for your kid, prob6 not.
  • janiestiredshoes ⚫5h ago ESH. She's an AH for leaking the pregnancy - it's a really thing to do and I don't blame you for being livid. I also wouldn't blame you if you distanced yourself and set appropriate boundaries around what you decide to tell her in the future.
  • But, uninviting her to your wedding is not boundary setting, and is a disproportionate response to what she did. Setting boundaries is about preventing a similar situation in the future and about responses to specific behaviours that enable you to protect yourself. Here you can absolutely tell her that you won't be sharing this kind of thing in the future.
  • The advantage of specific boundary setting like this is that it doesn't really matter what their intent is - it's about you and what you need. It doesn't matter if she "forgot" or if she intended to do it, your response is the same - "Fine, you forgot, you've shown that you're prone to forgetting, I won't be sharing this type of news with you in the future."
  • SamBartlett1776 5h ago NTA However, for the sake of family relations, I would reinvite SIL to the wedding. I would change the consequence to a very delayed meeting of the baby. No phone call from the hospital, and the last one of the family to come visit.

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