58-year-old woman sends $1.5M to scammers, gets angry when 20-year-old son prevents her from taking money out of her 401K to send the scammers $30K more

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 5, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Some people can't be saved from their own stupidity.

Do you recall the article from a couple of years ago about a woman who put her life savings in a shoebox and gave it to scammers? She claims that she never thought she would fall for something like that, but scammers can manipulate otherwise intelligent people into doing incredibly foolish things. 

I have yet to be in a situation where I've felt compelled to give all my money away to random people, but if someone is threatening you or telling you that you'll get back double the money you put in, you might feel inclined to believe them. How many people are convinced that they're going to make back the money they put into sports betting, despite there being no evidence that that's the case? There are scams all around us at all times, and we must be mindful that even if we were above average in school, we're not too smart to be taken advantage of in this way. It's hard to see someone resist help when they're actively getting scammed, especially older, vulnerable family members. 

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  • The young man in this story is trying to help his mom, but she is a non-starter. She has sent over a million dollars to scammers and is convinced that she will get her money back and then some. Now, she wants to borrow from her 401K, even though she's not 59.5 years old yet. 

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    Portrait of senior happy stylish woman with grey hair making online shopping using laptop with credit card indoors
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Am I the bad guy for not allowing my Mom to withdraw from her 401k after she's been scammed for over $1,000,000?

    Mom (58F) Me (20M) Background: My mother has sent over $1,500,000 through crypto over the past 6 months through an online task scam. She has claimed every step of the way that "This is the last step, I swear!". Then something pops up
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    where she had no choice but to put more money in to retrieve all her money & more. She refuses to believe it's a scam and still has 100% confidence that it is real.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
  • 04
    She needs to send them $30,000 within 2 weeks and have no way of obtaining this money besides withdrawing from her 401k. She has already morgaged her cars, borrowed against her life insurance, and taken out loans against her house. From what I know, the only assets she has left is her retirement (401k) & her
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
  • 05
    house (small fraction of the total value). She won't be able to sell her house within 2 weeks so she wants to withdraw from her 401k. Since she is not 59 1/2, she cannot withdraw from her 401k.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
  • 06
    She wants to do a hardship 401k withdraw under Tuition (States she is using the funds to pay for my college Tuition) and then sent that to the scammers. I believe she would need to pay tax on it in addition to a 10% penalty for
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    withdrawing it before she's 59 1/2. She need a document from the school which can only be obtained by the student, to apply for her 401k hardship withdraw. I'm refusing to help her get this document.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    Businessman stamping with approved stamp on document contract
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    Her perspective: We are family and we should support each other in hard times. - It's her money and she just needs my help accessing it. She's not asking for my money - It's the "last step" and if she doesn't get her money after this, she'll quit.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    -It's only $30,000 compared to the $1,500,000 she has already put in. She has put in this last bit to get it all back - She would rather lose $30,000 and have the peace of mind knowing they fully scammed her than thinking that she ruined peoples lives and lose her money
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    (She belives that they "lent" her money to get pay since she could not cover the entire amount & that its effecting their lives) - I'm "ruining" her life becase I am stopping her from accessing her own money.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    Young man with glasses and long brown hair
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    My perspective: I just want her to quit sending money and realize it's a scam. If giving her the document would allow her to lose her $30,000 and accept it's a scam, I am fine with that. She has lied every step of the way, always saying its the last step and that she will quit but never does. Her promise to quit doesn't have any meaning and if I enable her to get this money, I'm
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
  • 14
    only ruining her life further when she finally accepts its a scam. I don't want to be involved in the scam, even if it's just enabling her to access her money. I don't think there will ever be an end until her money runs dry and If I don't help her here, this may be where her money runs dry.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
  • 15
    pottersquash NTA. Please take a step back and realize scam or no scam what she wants to do is commit financial fraud and f Ito the no don't do that. She is GUESSING there won't be any ramifications but who knows but it would be clear fraud.
    via u/pottersquash
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    deefop NTA, have you not contacted her bank or any adult protective services yet? You realize your mom has basically given away her retirement and is going to struggle just to survive for the next 20+ years, right?
    via u/deefop
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    CertainWish358 ...and guess who's going to be funding a big part of those 20+ years
    via u/CertainWish358
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    lamIrene Three words for you: Sunk Cost Fallacy. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please be assured you are NTA. She is the victim of a crime but doesn't recognize it which makes this 1,000 times worse for everyone.
    via u/lamIrene
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    Do not give her any money. Do not give her access to any of your accounts...ever. Don't sign anything she asks you to or help her in any way in this regard. Crypto, romance, pig-butchering scams...they're all evil and will literally tell her anything to get her money. Which means she will tell you anything to get your money.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 20
    My mom has been entangled in a romance scam for years and it's heartbreaking. I'm fortunate in that my dad recognizes it for what it is and hasn't left her over it. He keeps the keys to the finances and we have a system set up between the two of us to protect her from the scammers and herself as much as we can. Call Senior Services and tell them what's happening. They may have some resources to help. Also contact the FBI. $1.5m is not a small loss...it makes it worth the FBI's attention.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 21
    Jess_cue And for the love of all things good LOCK DOWN YOUR CREDIT. Someone who is already willing to commit fraud can be desperate enough to defraud you- because they'll "pay it all back when they get the money".
    via u/Jess_cue
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    Puzzled One3927 OP "Them" is the scammers. They give her a deadline to send money by or she will lose it all. I have tried contacting adult protective services but they unfortunately weren't able to help. The represenative was really polite and tried her best but told me that my mother wasn't old enough (Atleast 65) and didn't have any dis lity.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927
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    Sufficient-Simple-41 I mean this should be for the police if they are BLACKMAILING that they will possess all her money if x y z.
    via u/Sufficient-Simple-41
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    PuzzledOne3927 OP She has already sent them the money through crypto. They tell her that there system only gives days to withdraw based on some rules. When she goes to withdraw, something always pops up and the only way to fix it is for her to deposit more money inside. I have never thought of trying to report it as blackmailing - I've always tried fraud. I will definitely look into that and see if any intervention can occur.
    via u/PuzzledOne3927

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family drama scammer spending money mother scammers 401k scams no money scamming scam family retirement mom money son college student parents
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