16-year-old discovers her dad isn't her biological father, mom harasses her to confess which family member told her the truth: 'He told me now that I knew I could start calling him Drake instead of dad'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 4, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

This poor girl has been through the ringer.

Some family secrets are incredibly banal. It doesn't affect your life that much to know that your mom had a fling with a cowboy in South Dakota during the summer of 81, or that your dad was engaged to a woman in Wisconsin that never came to fruition. It's true that sometimes, your parents' life is not your business, and you shouldn't be snooping around to find out things that you don't need to know about their past. 

On the other hand, family secrets that concern the child shouldn't be kept from them, especially regarding their parentage. It's not right to hide that a child was adopted from them, even if it's a difficult conversation to have. In ideal situations, it should never even be a conversation: the child should grow up knowing they're adopted as a fact of life, no more shocking than finding out they have 10 fingers and 10 toes. But if you haven't told your child who their biological parents are, the 2nd best time to tell them the truth is today. 

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  • The mom in this story still hasn't told her daughter the truth about her biological father. The teenage girl had to find out through other family members that the man who raised her isn't really her dad, and her mom was outraged that she sought that information out. 

  • Grayscale photo of a girl in a denim jacket
    via Ethan De Long

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I wrong for refusing to tell my mom who told me her husband isn't my dad?

    I (16f) always wondered why my 'dad' treated me different to my siblings (15f, 12m and 11m). Even though me and my sister are just over a year apart in age he would love on her and was super supportive of her and her interests. He was her cheerleader when she needed one and he made sure to be there for all her plays. He's the same with my
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • brothers. But he's never been to any of my recitals. He never showed an interest in the stuff I liked. Whenever I went to him for cheering up he brushed me off. And he spoiled my siblings by buying them toys, candy or whatever but he never got that stuff for me.
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • An assortment of plastic toys
    via Nareeta Martin

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • When mom wasn't home I was either pushed to sleep at a friend's house or a family member's house or he'd do a movie night or game night with my siblings and told me to stay in my room.
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • I cried to my mom so many times about it and she told me he treated me that way because we were the most alike and we butted heads. But I never fought him or disagreed with him. I never got the time with him to do any of that.
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • So when a relative told me a couple of months ago that he's not my dad. My mom was seeing him and my bio dad. Dad knew about my bio dad and said he wasn't going to keep sharing her so mom chose him and then
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • when she found out about me he said she could keep me regardless but if I wasn't his he wanted a kid of his own. They DNA tested me and I'm not his so my sister was born so close to me because of the promise.
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • Man in white top holding baby girl
    via Gift Habeshaw

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • After hearing the truth and seeing proof I confronted my parents. He told me now that I knew I could start calling him Drake instead of dad. My mom was not as yay she knows though. She has asked me every day, sometimes multiple times a day, who told me. She was pestered by several
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • family members to be honest and she had no idea which of them said something and I refused to tell. Even if it was disrespectful to do it behind her back I'm glad I found out now. It also opened up the truth that I have no college savings like my siblings and Drake doesn't want me to stay a day after my 18th birthday. He said I was never his, he never loved me and he wants at least one year of just HIS family.
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • All my mom cares about is finding out who. She tried to ground me and she told me I needed to say because nobody should tell a kid stuff like this without a parent knowing and being there. She said hiding who they are also makes them because they are encouraging a minor to keep stuff from a parent intentionally to avoid consequences for the person. AITA?
    via u/Kayleeignni
  • Dachshundmom5 You have a terrible mother. What a sh parent. "Im being emotionally neglected and abused my entire childhood" mom proceeds to gaslight daughter and lie for years. Finally, someone is honest, and she does not give a sh about the emotional damage done, just who finally was honest. Shes also okay with you having nothing like your siblings and being kicked out. Terrible parent. You will never be the AH to her. She has entirely failed as a parent. She deserves the worst.
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • echo Driftwood_73 Yeah exactly. Her mother is more mad about being exposed than actually hurting her kid for years. Prioritizing damage control over her daughter's well-being says everything.
    via u/echo Driftwood_73
  • HeyPrettyLadyMaam She also hid a bio father. A dad. Someone who might not know about op, might never have known, and might have idk ACTUALLY WANTED HIS DAUGHTER! Ops mom took a father from her. I hope she goes full NC asap. And I hope she finds her bio dad and HIS family. And above all, I hope her bio dad WANTS her. How can a mom stay with a man who tells her her/their child (cause he's the only dad she knows, and mom forced the idea) isn't sh, won't ever be sh, now give me a child woman??? Op,
    via u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam
  • f your "parents". I'm sorry they're who life gave you. But I'm so glad that one family member cared enough to end your suffering. Cause your mom and Dirt bag Drake would have strung you on for another 2 years. And I bet dirt bags gift would have been a card that said "happy 18th birthday, I'm NOT you dad! Get out so I can love MY kids! Leave your key your not welcome back here!" p 00 00 8 00 00 #7.! #!! #7.! #7.! # 1! #7.! #7.! #7! #!!」 #%! #%! I hate you mom and Drake.
    via u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam
  • keephopealive4you NTA. Don't ever tell. And do you have grandparents you can go live with? I would try to move out now if I were you. Your mother is horrible for allowing her husband to treat you that way, especially while lying to you that he is your dad. I am so sorry they both s k. You do not deserve that!
    via u/keephopealive4you
  • BookishIntrovert99 NTA. Get a job now and start saving for college. And do research on college scholarships and loans. Your mother is a selfish a h le. She let her husband emotionally ab e you for years just so he wouldn't leave her. She's a bad person and so is Drake. If and when you get married or graduate from college, don't invite them. They don't deserve to be a part of your future.
    via u/BookishIntrovert99

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family drama entitled parents mother crazy things parents say entitled parent bad parenting bad parents parenting dad family mom Parenting Fail parents Father Parenting FAILS
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