Stay-at-home dad refuses to homeschool his 6-year-old daughter because she's failing 1st grade math, despite his wife's insistence: 'I want her to have a “normal” childhood'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 9, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Homeschooling is one of those things that you can't do halfway. If one parent really wants to do it and the other does not, it will be challenging to make it happen. Homeschooling requires both parents to be working full-time, with one parent supporting the family financially and the other planning and facilitating their children's education. If either parent isn't fully committed to the homeschooling mission, the home will become an agitated environment. 

Of course, it's normal for one homeschooling parent to be more invested in homeschooling on a day-to-day basis. The parent who teaches has to be the one who is most committed to it, and if they're uncommitted to homeschooling, they're in for a world of trouble. If a breadwinner forces a stay-at-home parent to homeschool against their will, they will likely be resentful of their partner and may neglect their child's education. Parents can always try homeschooling for a season to see how their family likes it, but they shouldn't even try it if the parent-teacher doesn't want that job in the first place. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement

  • The dad in this story does not want to homeschool his daughter. His wife is nervous that her teacher will hold her back because she's struggling in math, and this teacher has been known to hold students back before. However, he doesn't think that's a good enough reason to homeschool, mainly because the responsibility of teaching will fall on him. He already has a 2-year-old to care for, and he doesn't think he's qualified to be a teacher, given his disposition.

  • A young girl sitting at a table drawing with crayons
    via Tim Mossholder

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Venting. Please help.

    If this is against the rules, please don't delete and just hear me out. I don't know where else to go. I'll just be upfront and honest that I'm not the biggest fan of the idea of homeschooling.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • My oldest is in first grade and is failing math. My wife is afraid that she's going to get held back since other kids have been by this teacher.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • Young teacher in eyeglasses holding clipboard and walking along the classroom controlling the work of school children
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My biggest thing is my oldest not being social. I understand that there are such things as co-ops, but I want her to have a "normal" childhood. I've been researching and it seems like homeschooling isn't as cheap as it seems to be. I also wasn't the best student in school. I see them amount of research that you have to do to be able to teach any curriculum. I
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • stay at home with our two year old, I have to clean and cook, with little to no help. I work nights and don't get home until midnight or two in the morning and when I get home I spend at least an hour or so cleaning up whatever mess was left after I left for work. I'll also admit I don't feel like I'd I have the patience for teaching since I can get stressed out pretty easily.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • Most things I'll attempt, even if I don't 100% agree with whatever the situation is, but my heart and gut just says this isn't the right decision to take my kid out of school where she's already established friends.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • A group of small nursery school children playing outdoors on playground
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We got into a huge fight where I put my foot down and said that we are not homeschool and it return I was told that "we weren't the man I thought I married," and have been getting pretty much the cold shoulder for the past few days with any type of conversation. Basically I feel like this ruined my marriage, but that's not what this is about.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • Am I in the wrong? Are their families that have my same kind of schedule and make it work? If so, how?
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • KiwiAppropriate8003 I believe homeschooling should be a two "yes" decision if both parents are involved in the child's life. There are definitely ways to make homeschooling work, but you have to want to do it. It's a big commitment.
    via u/KiwiAppropriate8003
  • projectdeathshead OP I just don't think I can in my situation. I feel like my plate is already overflowing with everything I have to do.
    via u/projectdeathshead
  • KiwiAppropriate8003 If you can't, then you can't. Forcing anyone into homeschooling sounds like a recipe for disaster. I hope you and your wife can work through this together and find the best solution for your family.
    via u/KiwiAppropriate8003
  • CrazyGooseLady You probably should look into getting your child evaluated for an IEP so she can get the help she needs This is a whole family on board thing, and you need sleep and it sounds like you are being expected to work and do the homeschooling. Most curriculum is scripted, but good curriculum is not cheap.
    via u/CrazyGooseLady
  • AlphaQueen3 I'm an enormous fan of homeschooling, especially for younger students, and I've certainly known families who do it with very challenging schedules. But it's a huge lifestyle change and you sound like you have a very full plate already and your wife trying to threaten you into this is really, deeply not ok. Also, repeating 1st grade isn't the end of the world if it's what your kid needs. Another year of maturity sometimes helps a lot!
    via u/AlphaQueen3
  • noeggsjustmilk Is homeschool possible in this situation? Sure. Is it what's best for your family? Is being held back the worst outcome? Is hiring a math tutor possible? It's only October and there's an entire school year to complete if you're in a traditional US school district, so there can be time to pursue other options to help math skills. Can the child be evaluated for a learning disorder? Get an IEP? Does the school offer any free services for that?
    via u/noeggsjustmilk
  • My child has a rich social life with friends but it took a lot of work. Homeschooling also isn't free but it can be done economically. Homeschooling parents need a willingness to learn, research and be patient and both parents need to be on board. It sounds like your wife wants to homeschool but you'd be doing the bulk if not all of it, which isn't fair if you're not on board. We're only getting 1 side but it sounds like your spouse considers homeschooling a solution to your child's math struggl
    via u/noeggsjustmilk
  • Homeschooling will not suddenly make you a different person who won't get stressed easily or impatient (not an attack on you, its very good you're aware of your limits and your spouse should be respectful of that). Homeschooling will not make your child grade level on math unless the work is put in and there may still be a need for learning disorder specialist intervention, which gets expensive outside the school system.
    via u/noeggsjustmilk
  • artisanmaker When you homeschool with a father who is against it, it is a nightmare. I have seen some people go through that. I have seen some people get divorced. The homeschooling was the first and the ongoing conflict. Then the stay at home mother was unable to support herself and had to quit homeschooling and somehow try and find a job after leaving her career to raise kids. Tragic.
    via u/artisanmaker
  • Intelligent-Ask-3264 Homeschooling is not cheap by any means. On curriculum and printing for ONE student, we spent $450 for this year alone. However, my kids are fairly advanced, and it's because of homeschooling. We dont have to keep them on one track or in one section. My oldest is getting into cars, so we got her an auto shop curriculum. She replaced the alternator in my partners car a few weeks back with no help, just adult supervision. My 2nd grader reads at 9th grade level and does 4th gra
    via u/Intelligent-Ask-3264
  • If you and your partner dont agree and work as a team to educate your kids, it's going to be even harder to do SO. If you want to keep your kids in school, i suggest finding some supplemental curriculum and / or a tutor. There's nothing wrong with kids needing extra time and attention to grasp concepts. There's nothing wrong with being held back, either. I would rather my kid be held back and get caught up than passed and compound the issues because that makes learning even more difficult as it
    via u/Intelligent-Ask-3264

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

mathematics school entitled parents stay at home dad elementary school stay at home parenting dad little kids homeschool education daughter mom math parents Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article