‘Am I missing something?’: Coworker refuses to communicate with employee unless it's in person or over the phone, even though it's integral to their jobs to keep a paper trail of records

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 11, 2025 6:00 AM EDT

Do any of you have that one coworker who simply never seems to understand anything you're asking them to do? You can spell and sound it out for them, and they'll still blatantly write off your requests and ideas. For what reason? Is this a skill issue? Do they lack certain kinds of intellect? Usually not; They prefer to do things their own way, even if it's at the expense of their colleagues. That colleague would be you!

Though it's easy to think of ourselves as the perfect teammate, most of us possess a certain amount of self-awareness that allows us to exist without causing trouble in an office setting. Say, someone is asking me to complete a task I am fully capable of doing and is in my job description. Perfect, I'll get right on that, no problem. Why is it so hard for other coworkers to do the same?

The employee in this next story can't wrap their head around the fact that their colleague refuses to leave written records of their communications, and insists they speak on the phone and in person instead. Even after the employee asks them to start answering their emails, they continue to evade their messages. What do you think is going on here? Scroll below to read the commenters' takes.

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  • two work colleagues chatting in person about an important project they are working on
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "My co-worker refuses to answer emails and questions I have. We work on budgets, and paper trails and email records are essential. She is only willing to meet or talk on the phone. Is this normal?"

    I have been at my job for almost 10 years now. I work in a large organization.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • My jobs entails budgeting, among numerous other duties unrelated to budgeting - essentially six different jobs in one.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I work with someone (new to this role) from our central administration to submit budgets. She sends me the spreadsheets with confusing formats and vague categories, which I am forced to use.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • When I ask her clarifying questions about the spreadsheets or flag issues about where certain expenses are being charged, which only she can change on the back end, she refuses to answer via email.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • She instead calls me on the phone for 1-2 hours or schedules 1-2 hour meetings instead.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • After those long meetings, the same issues and mistakes remain - she uses the wrong accounts to charge expenses to, and even messes up where to transfer the new funding I have worked hard to obtain.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I have tried to communicate that it is important for both of us to maintain email records of these communications because we are dealing with money.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • Not everything can be discussed verbally. I work with other departments on budgets, and we only correspond via email, and very effectively.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I've been working with them on budgets for a decade via emails, no meetings and no phone calls, with no issues.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • a female colleague talking on the phone at her work desk as she types on her laptop
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • But this new employee refuses to answer emails. Is this normal? If she refuses to answer emails, shouldn't I be able to refuse to answer calls and attend 2- hour meetings where she wastes my time?
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I do not report to her. She does not report to me either. We are simply forced to work together.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I am at a higher level than her. I have tried to kindly explain why responding to emails is important, and she just keeps calling me on the phone instead, again, not answering any of my questions or addressing the problems and mistakes I'm bringing up.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • Am I missing something? Edit: Some people responding to this are telling me to "just record the meetings or send summaries after each one." I am not willing to continue agreeing to 2- hour meetings with her.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I work in a two- party consent state where I cannot record unless she agrees to it.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • If I send meeting summaries, she will say she didn't get the emails, which she has already claimed even though her boss seems to be receiving everything without issue.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I am working until midnight almost every night this week, as well as the last three weekends in a row, and 14-hour work days during the week, I can't handle dealing with this until next week.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I am truly at a breaking point, which is exactly why her constant phone calls and demands for 2-hour meetings (during which she takes no notes and asks the same questions at the start and at the end) without warnings are absolutely unacceptable.
    via ClockwiseS*****e
  • I'd rather get fired for refusing to answer her phone calls than agree to these meetings.
    via ClockwiseS*****e

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