“We're all burnt out. You just have to push through it”’: Manager weaponizes exceptional employee's tears during an unwarranted poor performance review and tells them it's a "growth moment’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 16, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Corporate empathy, for the most part, is a myth.

As a member of the workforce, it's integral to remind yourself that although you and your colleagues are all human, showing the human side of yourself might put you in a bad position somewhere down the line. Our emotions and innate feelings shouldn't be used as pawns against us, but the world is cruel in that way, isn't it?

A good boss uses their best abilities to steer you in the right direction, while also giving you critiques and positive reinforcement when you've done something right.

How is anyone enthusiastic in the workforce right now? Layoffs, the world being on fire, and doing the work of multiple people for the pay of less than one person are all factors that make keeping a smile on our faces just as difficult. The employee in this next story knows that feeling firsthand and comes clean to their boss about it when they are questioned on their enthusiasm during a performance review.

Needless to say, the employees cry for help after feeling "burnt out" for a while go unheard, and they cry when they realize their boss truly isn't in their corner. Scroll below to read the discussion between commenters about the myth of corporate empathy.

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  • "Maybe corporate empathy really is just buzzword they throw around until it's inconvenient."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "My manager made me cry during my performance review and then told me it’s a growth moment"

    So I just had my mid year review and I don't even know how to process it.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • I've been at this job for two years. Never missed a deadline, constantly pick up extra work when
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • people quit (and they quit a lot). I'm tired, but I still care or at least, I did.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • My manager starts the meeting all smiles. Then goes, "You're doing great, but I just wish you showed a little more enthusiasm."
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • Like what I've been running on caffeine and sheer survival instinct for months, and now my vibe is the problem.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • I said, "I'm sorry, I've been really burnt out with all the extra workload." He laughs, actually
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • laughs, and says, "We're all burnt out. You just have to push through it. Think of it as a growth moment."
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • That's when I lost it. I didn't sob or anything, but I teared up, which made it worse, because
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • then he leaned forward and said, "Hey, no need to get emotional. This is just feedback."
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • I literally wanted to disappear. Like, how are you supposed to take feedback when it's about being too tired from carrying half the team's. work.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • I left that meeting feeling smaller than I've felt in years. And the worst part I caught myself apologizing to him for crying.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • I don't know. Maybe I'm too sensitive. Or maybe corporate empathy really is just a buzzword they throw around until it's inconvenient.
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • Anyone else ever have a feedback session that felt more like emotional whiplash?
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • a hand pointing to five stars on a blue background
    via Isidore Decamon For Unsplash+
  • CalligrapherFit6774 He sounds like an ole. It's possible you had more of a reaction than some other people would have in that situation, it sounds like the problem is the environment and manager, not you being sensitive.
    via CalligrapherFit6774
  • Cognitive empathy involves understanding others' perspectives cognitively, and affective empathy involves your emotions being influenced by the emotions of those around you. It doesn't require any specific course of action. If anything, telling you off for not performing happiness correctly shows affective empathy, since you performing happiness would help them feel happy.
    via CalligrapherFit6774
  • BandicootUpbeat3227 I hadn't thought about it in terms of cognitive vs. affective empathy. Do you think managers who expect performed happiness actually realize they're doing that, or is it just completely subconscious?
    via BandicootUpbeat3227
  • InvestigatorOnly3504 You experienced a parasympathetic response from your frɩ ration/anger at your manger's inept/d ish response. You're perfectly normal, nothing to be ashamed of at all. But it highlights that you need to prioritize some self care, because that clown wouldn't know empathy if it bit him on the ass.
    via InvestigatorOnly3504
  • Focus on making your non-working hours into a life you can wake up excited about. Even if it starts as just meditation, and small indulgences.
    via InvestigatorOnly3504
  • ShortMode Time to leave. He sounds like my last manager. Find a place that values you for going the extra mile instead of dangling a carrot. You don't need to fake enthusiasm when management is doing a trash job and can't keep their staff happy.
    via ShortMode
  • seanmillsartist Sounds like you should be revenge by acting falsely enthusiast and half assing as much as possible.
    via seanmillsartist
  • purplelilac701 Aww you deserve so much better OP. I have been where you are. The difference is that my manager listened to me saying how overwhelmed I felt and they let me get it out with them, rather than tell you essentially to s k it up buttercup. I hope you end up at a place where you're truly valued.
    via purplelilac701

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