29-year-old employee refuses to train 31-year-old coworker "Becky" after she discovers Becky tried to get her written up: 'I don't owe her mentorship after she tried to sabotage me!'

Author image for Ben Weiss
Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Oct 17, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Becky does not sound like a team player.

When you're relatively new to a workplace environment, it's always a good idea to respect the people who have been working there longer than you have, regardless of age or experience. You're literally stepping into a preexisting office dynamic.Don't you want to be embraced by your fellow coworkers?

Apparently, Becky did not care. In fact, she went out of her way to try to sabotage the author of this anecdote not long after she began working at the company. The author, an office administrator at a construction company, provided context explaining that this was a small but mighty team that always had each other's back… that is, until Becky came into the picture.

After Becky was caught trying to throw her coworker under the bus, so to speak, she was quietly and barely reprimanded. Now, the author feels like Becky cannot be trusted, rightfully so. When Becky got her manager to approve her request to shadow the author for a few days at work, the author refused to agree to this. Honestly, we don't blame her.

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  • Two female coworkers working at a desk surrounded by office plants.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Who would want Becky to be looking over your shoulder for several days anyway? Especially knowing that she's the kind of person who immediately assumes you're at fault when you're just doing something your own way. No one wants to collaborate with people who assume the worst of your personal process. That kind of mentality is how you make enemies, Becky!

  • "[Am I wrong] for refusing to let my coworker 'shadow' me after she tried to get me written up?"

    I (29F) work as an office administrator for a construction company. We're a small team, so everyone knows each other
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  • pretty well. One of my coworkers, "Becky" (31F), started a few months ago and has been trying to get promoted fast.
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  • Last month, she sent an email to my boss saying I'd been "unprofessional" because I supposedly took a long lunch. My
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  • boss checked the logs and saw that I had actually been covering for her while she ran errands. She got a quiet warning for lying.
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  • Ever since, she's been acting overly nice, complimenting my work, bringing me coffee, etc. This week, she asked if I could let
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  • her "shadow" me for a few days to "learn how I manage scheduling." My boss approved it if I was comfortable with it.
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  • I said no. I told my boss that given what happened before, I didn't feel comfortable sharing my workflow with someone who had tried to get me written up.
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  • Becky overheard and said I was being "spiteful" and "blocking her professional growth." Now a few coworkers think I'm "making things personal" at work.
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  • But I just don't trust her and I don't owe her mentorship after she tried to sabotage me. AITA for refusing to let her shadow me?
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  • Two female coworkers working at a desk surrounded by office plants.
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • TheWacoFogey ·57m ago NTA. "Now a few coworkers think I'm "making things personal" at work." No, Becky tried to torpedo you professionally before, and
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  • she may be trying to "shadow" you to get dirt for another try. To quote Michael Corleone: "This isn't personal, Sonny. It's business." And you want
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  • Becky as far away from your business as possible. Make sure your boss understands that going forward, not just for this one moment.
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  • Turbulent_Smile... . 57m ago Wow, writes you up and then immediately tries to butter you up. At least apologize sincerely and regain the trust factor. You got it on the dot with that last line: You don't owe her mentorship.
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  • Cuddles89 · 52m ago • So, YOU'RE spiteful for not giving her access to something she could use to further sabotage you, something she ALREADY GOT CAUGHT trying to do.
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  • Yet somehow SHE'S perfectly fine for LYING to your boss to get you in trouble when you were literally covering for her? I'd
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  • make sure everyone in the office knows exactly why you're not comfortable helping her and when she accuses you of "blocking
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  • her personal growth" let her know the only one blocking her is herself by lying and trying to take advantage of coworkers.
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terrible coworkers workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace job work coworkers company toxic-work-environment
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