Woman learns her mother-in-law is rearranging her kitchen while she's 5,000 miles away on vacation for her anniversary: 'She’s just casually Marie Kondo-ing my workspace,sa she’ll spend a week in'

We all like to think that we like surprises. Let me say that again: We all like to think that we like surprises. Think is the operative word here. The reality is that most surprises aren't nearly as fun as the word "surprise" would lead you to believe. 

This goes to show that you really should not do certain things as surprises, no matter how well-intended they are. You should definitely never get pets as a surprise. Anything with a life of it's own certainly deserves better than being given to someone who isn't ready to accept that responsibility. I'm not even really sure that surprise birthdays are that good an idea. You're telling me that you're going to spring a large social gathering on me for my birthday—and that's supposed to be a good thing?

It stands to reason that, in this day and age, you should even think twice before proposing marriage to someone without talking about it beforehand. That is a big decision to spring on someone in the moment, usually in a very public place. Marriage should be something that is at least discussed beforehand; it's a huge commitment, and there are a lot of factors that go into such a decision. Maybe it would be ok if the exact timing of the actual proposal is a surprise but that's about as far as it should go.

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    An older woman stands in the kitchen staring at the dishwasher
    via Marc Pell

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • Really, we can narrow this down to "A surprise should never be or do anything that substantially changes or adds unnecessary responsibility to someone's life." I think that's a pretty good rule of thumb.

    Although it might not be as disastrous a surprise as, say, a pet, without a doubt, if you're house-sitting for someone, rearranging their space, except for temporarily while you're staying there, is completely unacceptable and an outright insane thing to do. 

    The level of this atrocity is multiplied by several levels when you're a mother-in-law staying in your son's and his wife's house to watch their children while they're away on vacation for their anniversary, and suddenly decide it's a good idea to rearrange your daughter-in-law's kitchen. 

    It's already easy to feel judged by your in-laws, and feel like they're constantly evaluating all the ways that you live your life differently from how they raised their own family. And the last thing any of us wants is to come home to our home rearranged by them—especially our kitchen.

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    "5,000 miles away and just got word: my MIL is ‘fixing’ my kitchen. "

    I'm 5,000 miles away from home celebrating a milestone anniversary, while my MIL stays with my elementary school aged kid for a week. I got a call on the sly from the kid today, like a mini spy reporting from behind the front lines, to tell me that MIL is completely rearranging my kitchen.
    via Merivel1
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    The kitchen I've used daily for 20 years; the kitchen I can find anything in blindfolded. The kitchen in the house. she was specifically, explicitly, kindly- but-firmly asked not to rearrange. And yet, here we are. She's just casually Marie Kondo-ing my workspace she'll spend a week in.
    via Merivel1
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    And me? I get to come home from a romantic trip and play the world's worst game of "Where's the Whisk?" for the foreseeable future. Happy Anniversary to me.
    via Merivel1
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  • 05
    Datree7 MIL did this on my honeymoon. And nothing is placed where it would logically should be. So, for the first time when I got back I looked at all the drawers and thought well I would put silverware here but Ik the least logical place would be to put it in the furthest drawer away next to the stove. And wouldn't you know it that's where she put it. I just did that work around until I had time to fix it.
    via Merivel1
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    An older woman wears an apron and rearranges a kitchen
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    OP Merivel1 It's possible we have the same MIL. She says she has a "gift" for finding the most logical place to put things, then can't find them. Nor can anyone else, because the locations are decidedly not logical.
    via Merivel1
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  • 08
    MurkyMitzy My then-new MIL reorganized and redecorated my kitchen while we were on our honeymoon. Chickens and roosters. She redecorated my kitchen with chickens and roosters. I've never expressed an interest in chickens. Or any farm animal.
    via Merivel1
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    OP Merivel1 OMG did you undo it all when you got home? Did she ask what happened to all the barnyard fowl? Where do these MILs come from?!
    via Merivel1
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    Nervous-Power-9800 Ring her at all hours of the day and ask her where she put <item>. Make it as petty as you can, food blender at 4am, whisk at midnight, spatula middle of the day, roasting tray 1am.
    via Merivel1
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    OP Merivel1 Oh, I like you.
    via Merivel1
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    BestCatEva I've had these issues with my parents when they watched the kids for us. They even said they'd 'fix' my kids for me. I gave them a calm lecture....and never had them watch my kids overnight again. Controlling people just can't stop themselves. It's a form of OCD... and a bunch of other conditions too. They won't change. Sadly, you'll prob have to stop allowing them to be in a position to do this crap.
    via Merivel1
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    OP Merivel1 Yep, this was the first and last time.
    via Merivel1
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    DeadInternetInAction That's so crazy. When my mom helped us move into our new house recently she practically wouldn't put anything away in the kitchen without asking where we wanted it so she didn't assume where anything was to go.
    via Merivel1
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    OP Merivel1 Aww sounds like you have a good mom. Helpful and considerate.
    via Merivel1
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    Nutella_Zamboni Before you stop home, rearrange her kitchen.
    via Merivel1
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  • 17
    OP Merivel1 She lives a few states away, but next time we visit I absolutely have plans.
    via Merivel1
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    Majestic-Lie2690 I would make husband call and tell her to put everything back right now
    via Merivel1
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    CorruptDictator Plot somehow getting into her home and re-arranging her kitchen as revenge.
    via Merivel1
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  • 20
    Hemiak I'd call h and right then. "Whatcha doing right now?" Then push for an answer. If she lies, call her out. If she says it straight out, "I'm pretty sure we told you directly not to do that. I expect everything back in the exact same place by the time we get home." Don't just sit back and be mad. Call her shit out.
    via Merivel1
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    pork_chop17 My grandmother (mother's mother) was watching us when we were in middle school for a week while my parents were on a work trip. My dad was a plant god. Literally there were maybe 100 plants across the house all getting specific sun and water schedules. Grandmother decided he would rather have them all in one location in the house as a wall of plants. So she moved them all in front of a window that got full sun all day. Dad had a fit when they got home.
    via Merivel1

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