Bride-to-be Lila uninvites her best friend because she refuses to splurge $2,300, excluding flights, on a five-night luxury Tulum bachelorette trip: ‘I haven’t talked to her since. It’s been three months’

This story feels like a postcard from the modern friendship economy. A 27-year-old woman says yes to being maid of honor and ends up dropped from the wedding guest list after admitting she cannot afford a luxury bachelorette trip in Tulum. The trip was five nights long with a private chef, a villa, and themed outfits. It cost over two thousand dollars per person before flights. When she tried to compromise by attending part of the trip, her best friend replaced patience with a polite cut-off. 

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
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  • My best friend uninvited me from her wedding after I told her I couldn’t afford her “bachelorette trip.”

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  • It is the newest twist in how friendship and money collide. Weddings used to be about support and love. Now they feel like performance art with matching sashes. People treat loyalty like a luxury good and call it commitment. The bride did what so many people do now, dressed exclusion up as practicality. It is easier to say someone cannot “commit fully” than to admit that friendship has become transactional.  

  • I (27F) have been best friends with "Lila" since high school. She's getting married this December and asked me to be her maid of honor last year.
    via PassageStraight7656
  • I was thrilled. The bachelorette trip she planned was in Tulum, five nights, luxury villa, private chef, matching outfits, etc.
    via PassageStraight7656
  • The cost per person came to around $2,300 not including flights. I make decent money but I'm paying off student loans, so I told her I could come for part of the trip or celebrate locally instead.
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  • She said she "understood." Then, a week later, she texted saying she was "rethinking the bridal party dynamic" and thought it'd be "less awkward" if I attended as a guest instead.
    via PassageStraight7656
  • I was speechless. I didn't even respond for hours. She later called crying saying it wasn't "personal," just that "she needs bridesmaids who can commit fully." I haven't talked to her since.
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  • It's been three months. I'm honestly grieving the friendship more than the wedding invite.
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  • The message is clear. Keep up or get cut. The whole thing says more about how adulthood has turned celebrations into competitions than it does about either woman. The maid of honor lost a friend, but she might have gained peace and a few thousand dollars. Modern affection has become an unpaid job where failure to fund the dream counts as betrayal. It turns out some friendships are not lasting connections at all, only subscriptions that quietly expire when you stop paying.

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  • Marikki85 Don't go to the wedding. If optics matters to her more than a friend she isn't a friend at all. Fk the bride. I hate weddings.
    via PassageStraight7656
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  • Ok_Distribution_2603 You were the maid of honor and you had zero input into the bachelorette party planning?
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  • MCA2142 She saved you from a shitty friendship AND saved you $2+ grand. Very rarely do shitty people leave you without costing you money.
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  • Extension_School8801 This wasn't about commitment, it was about control and optics. Some brides treat weddings like personal PR campaigns, and you became "off brand" the second you couldn't match her spending. You dodged a lifelong role as her emotional assistant.
    via PassageStraight7656
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  • WobblySlug She's not your friend, let alone your best. What she's just told you is that she cares more about the aesthetic of a single day out more than your friendship. Honestly I'd leave her on read for a while. See if she figures out her priorities.
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  • echochilde When did TwoHotTakes become 90% bot?
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  • paigeturnerchic I'm so sorry. That's not a true friend. My bestie asked me to be a bridesmaid and I cried telling her saying no because financial I couldn't afford everything and was finishing my masters degree so couldn't take time off for all the trips. I said I would help with the decorations and bring food while the girls got ready etc. she thanked me as felt bad I was so worried about saying. No. That was 20 years ago and she's still my bestie. Real friends understand. So sorry you are havi
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  • Muted-Adeptness-6316 I'm sorry, but who has a five night bachelorette party in another country? That's insane. I hate to say this but my guess is that the quote you got for the cost of the trip was higher than what the other bridesmaids got and she was wanting you to largely foot the bill. Either way, bullet dodged. Spend that $2300 on your loans, and have a great five nights not having to deal with the inevitable drama that will arise on this bachelorette trip that no one can afford.
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  • Hitthereset I wish these people would realize that in like 10 years the "vibes" will not matter at all. We spent about $5k on our wedding in 2010 and it was small but nice. Even then I wish I could go back and just do a simple ceremony with our pastor and family and then cater a big backyard bbq for 1/3 that price. Would've accomplished the same thing.
    via PassageStraight7656
  • mountain_life86 Shes not a best friend or even a friend. Politely decline the wedding invite. "Ive been rethinking our friendship dynamic and I think its best if I don't attend your wedding at all. I thought we were best friends but clearly not if you only like me if I can afford an expensive hen do" My hen do cost a total of £120pp for hotel, activity and meal. Some people are just up their own bums
    via PassageStraight7656
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