29 and 33-year-old sisters pressure their 26-year-old sister to give up custody of her 4-year-old because he prefers his dad: 'If that's how they feel, they should never have kids'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 20, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

How could they say such a thing about their toddler nephew?

Some people are truly clueless about the gravity of parenthood. They think that having a kid is as easy as having a goldfish in a bowl: as long as you feed them and clean them, you have done your job as a parent. But there are so many challenges to being a parent that you won't expect until you get there, and you won't know how to overcome them until you come to them. 

Most mothers don't plan to become single mothers, and when they find themself in that situation, it can lead to a whole host of problems. If the father leaves for milk one night and never comes back, there are so many financial and emotional messes the mother will need to clean up. If they divorce and the father is in his kids' lives very sporadically, that inconsistency can have numerous negative emotional consequences. Single parents in precarious situations like this can't give up, because their kids depend on them to keep going and be there for them during tough times. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • A portrait of blond school boy standing in nature looking at camera
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The sisters in this story certainly think their sister should just throw in the towel and let her 4-year-old stay with his dad full-time, despite the fact that his dad has shown no interest in taking care of his kids full-time.

  • Am I wrong for telling my sisters to never have kids because they wanted me to give up custody of my 4 year old for acting out and wanting his dad?

    The father of my two kids (currently 4 and 6) left me two years ago. He just left in the middle of the night two years ago and moved in with his parents. He said being a full time dad was holding him back and he wanted more time to be a guy. I (26f)
    via u/Corryswy
  • filed for custody and after pushing from his parents as well as realizing the cost of child support he started trying for 50- 50. But in the time between filing and court he saw the kids once and ignored offers from me to see them, which I was told by my attorney to offer in order to show the court I was reasonable and he was choosing not to see them.
    via u/Corryswy
  • I was given primary custody and he was given 6 overnights a month visitation. He was ordered to pay child support which he has flaked out on so many times. His parents even supported him through quitting his job so he wasn't making any of his own money.
    via u/Corryswy
  • My 6 year old does not have a good relationship with his dad and hates going to his house. He has a therapist, that has been documented and expressed to the courts but they don't remove my ex's visitation. Even with proof of parental alienation in the home. It just wasn't enough for
    via u/Corryswy
  • the court to decide he shouldn't have visitation. The alienation mostly comes from his parents and more so ex's mom than ex's dad. So my 6 year old is struggling but he wishes he was mostly with me.
    via u/Corryswy
  • My 4 year old is different. He just wants his dad and he has a habit of acting out whenever he gets back from his dad's house. He'll scream that he wants his dad and not me, that I'm mean and I'm not his dad and he tells me to go away. His acting out has gotten worse and I'm seeking professional help for him and for
    via u/Corryswy
  • me. Because I need to know how to cope better. It's rough. His therapist has documented the effect his dad's house has on him and the alienation has on him but yeah, not enough for a judge to say no more to visitation.
    via u/Corryswy
  • Business law concept lawyer business lawyers are consulting lawyers
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My sisters (29 and 33) stopped by recently and got to experience what it's like after the kids get back from my ex. They were silent until I got both kids into bed and then they told me I should just give my 4 year old to his dad and leave it because there's no way they would want to deal with that.
    via u/Corryswy
  • They said if he doesn't want the parent who shows up and is there day after day then he can be with the parent who doesn't want him. They said my oldest shows it's possible not to be fooled by liars. I was so outraged because he's 4 years old. He's going through a lot. Not to mention I love him and
    via u/Corryswy
  • couldn't imagine giving up on him. But they were like yeah give up. I told them if that's how they feel they should never have kids because you don't give up on your kids and especially not at 4. 1 told them it was disgusting and they should be supporting me and not encouraging me to turn into a deadbeat and leave a 4 year old without a stable and loving parent.
    via u/Corryswy
  • They got mad at me and said I had no right to judge them on their ability to be good parents and walking away is not the big crime I was treating it as. I told them to leave if they were going to say and defend that stuff to me and in mine and the kids' home. They left and they have
    via u/Corryswy
  • sent several texts saying I was a b-word and that I should keep my comments to myself. I responded they should take their own advice. AITAH?
    via u/Corryswy
  • Woman holding red phone
    via freestocks

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • atmasabr I responded they should take their own advice. NTA. This is almost gaslighting on their part. If you're going to poke the bear...
    via u/atmasabr
  • HorizonHunter 1982 walking away is not the big crime I was treating it as When you are a parent walking away is THE crime.
    via u/HorizonHunter1982
  • Corryswy OP Apparently not if you're my sisters. If the kids prefer their other parent over you then you can just walk away and be done and decide your kids aren't worth the effort. But I agree with you. As a mom I could never for one second imagine walking away from either of my kids.
    via u/Corryswy
  • Fit-Assistance6850 No, definitely NTA but what family judge would want to put a child through that much abuse that the 4 year old is getting. I worked in Children's Services years ago and what children have to go through with these visitations is horrendous. You have most probably already tried all of these suggestions but here goes; Have you filmed your son the minute he walks through the door and when he's playing up? It may help.
    via u/Fit-Assistance6850
  • What about supervised visitations as the grandparents are also physiologically abusing their grandchildren. Hopefully as everyone would get used to them being watched they may slip up and show their true colours. Also, what parent would allow their own adult child to cause not only abuse by not owning up to their responsibilities as a parent but also enabling them to cause abuse financially?
    via u/Fit-Assistance6850
  • My sister had to hold down multiple jobs as her children were growing up when she got divorced and that was with him paying child support but there were no extra payments for school trips, uniforms or when the children were doing special activities etc. The worst though is that the oldest has totally different memories of just how poorly their dad was in being a dad and in helping financially etc and thinks the sun shines out of his a--. Whereby her mum who bent over backwards and did whatever n
    via u/Fit-Assistance6850
  • extent her own daughter which is my sisters only grandchild is being fed all of these false memories. It's heartbreaking. I known it's been going on for years and years with other families but you would think in this day and age the family courts would wise up to what is actually best for the child.
    via u/Fit-Assistance6850
  • Your sisters need to grow up and not be entitled brats otherwise god help it if they have children. You have to love your child no matter what but you also have to show them what is wrong when they are causing harm to others as your ex is doing to you and his children. I feel for any lone parents trying to cope.
    via u/Fit-Assistance6850
  • Silvermorney They are so damn hypocritical it almost hurts! They need to keep their own salon comments to THEMselves and they had no right to judge YOU on YOUR ability to be a good parent! Stand your ground and cut them off for good honestly. He is FOUR and dealing with an abusive (mentally and emotionally) father who is trying to alienate him from you and at four years old of course he is struggling to deal with that and emotionally regulate he is literally just learning to do that anyway even
    via u/Silvermorney

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama toddler toddlers sisters siblings reddit story exes dad little kids family sibling sister reddit thread ex husband Reddit mom son custody
Scroll Down For The Next Article