54-year-old mom scolds her 19-year-old daughter's roommate for being uncomfortable with her sleeping over in their dorm room: 'I don’t know her mom well enough to want to sleep in the same room with her'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 20, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

She literally has a hotel room that her daughter could spend the night in.

Overnight guests can be a contentious debate amongst roommates. When you have your own bedroom in a rented house or apartment, it's a lot easier to have a parent, siblings, friend, or romantic partner stay overnight without causing much commotion to the rest of the household. A guest sleeping on the couch and making a little bit of a mess of the living room for one weekend is not the end of the world, but it can get out of hand quickly if they overstay their welcome or take things that aren't theirs. 

Having an overnight guest in a college dorm room is a whole other can of worms. I'd be comfortable with a total rando sleeping in my roommate's bedroom, but having them sleep in the bed right next to me in a dorm is potentially dangerous. It's already annoying enough having to share your bedroom with a complete stranger, but having to put up with their boyfriend or girlfriend sleeping over every single night without fail is not what you signed up for when you asked for a random roommate.

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  • wwwww 15
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This story is rather unusual, because the college student  in question isn't even asking her roommate to let her boyfriend sleep over. She wants her mother to sleep in the dorm room with them the weekend she visits, which is highly unusual. It's not even that she can't afford a hotel room: the mother has a hotel room, and would rather sleep in the college dormitory in her daughter's Twin XL bed with her.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my roommate she can’t bring her mom around anymore?

    my (19f) roommate wants to let her mother (54f) sleep over in our shared room. for context, we are both sophomores in college. we've never had any issues before except for minor miscommunications and i'm honestly baffled.
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • she woke me up this morning and told me that her mother was going to come around in half an hour and help her clean up and take her out. i have no issue with her mother as at this point ive known her for three years, but ive never spoken to her for more
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • than a few seconds when she comes to visit and it's always just common pleasantries and then we part ways. in total we have probably spent less than a half hour in the same room.
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • Cheezburger Image 10566187520
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • anyways, once they got back from their outing I was in our room doing homework and she asked me if it was okay if her mom slept in her bed with her tonight. i was extremely confused, she has NEVER asked this before and while i like her mother i don't want to sleep in the same room with her. so i asked her if she was
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • asking if i would leave for the night so that she could have a girls night with her mom to which she refused and said she just wanted to know if her mom could stay over here tonight. i pressed again and asked if she meant her mom would sleep here and she would sleep somewhere else or they would sleep in the bed together, and she said they would "most likely" just sleep together.
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • Cheezburger Image 10566188032
    via Matt Forfar

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • i told her this made me extremely uncomfortable and i don't know her mom well enough to want to sleep in the same room with her to which she replied "well, we didn't know each other before we roomed together and we still sleep in the same room" but am i wrong in thinking that's a completely separate and unavoidable thing?? her mom absolutely does not have to sleep with us.
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • now both her and her mother refuse to speak to me and are being extremely stand offish with me. her mother even texted mine and said that i was being extremely rude and that she should have a talk with me about being more polite and courteous with guests. i am just so confused and weirded out? is this normal?
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • moonhrafn NTA - it is ABSOLUTELY BANANAS to ask to have someone sleep in a shared room - let alone with such little notice. no way. Not normal at all. Damn.
    via u/moonhrafn
  • Twenty Two EightyEight Eh. My roommate and I used to have guys stay over in college. We didn't care. But a parent does feel more weird.
    via u/TwentyTwoEightyEight
  • Grouchy-Storm-6758 I would talk to the RA. Let them know of your roommate's request and your discomfort with this. If that doesn't go anywhere, go talk to the housing office. Good luck
    via u/Grouchy-Storm-6758
  • goldentone About what? It sounds like they asked and she said no, so they didn't do it.
    via u/goldentone
  • RuinCat And now they're texting her mother to scold her like she's a kindergartner that did something naughty in class. That's crossing a line.
    via u/RuinCat
  • androshalforc1 its really weird that the roommates mother, has OP's mothers number.
    via u/androshalforc1
  • GoBanana42 I don't think it's that weird. Many times parents do that for safety/emergency purposes. But texting over THIS is weird.
    via u/GoBanana42
  • Beginning Bit6645 It is not normal for a woman that age to travel and not have a hotel room booked for an overnight stay.
    via u/BeginningBit6645
  • Impossible_Move_2944 OP she actually does have a hotel room, she just really wants to stay here for some reason. our dorm is really tiny so it couldn't fit her even if i was cool with it.
    via u/Impossible_Move_2944
  • Beginning Bit6645 Why doesn't your roommate stay with her at the hotel? Staying in your room is weird. Source: mom with teens.
    via u/BeginningBit6645
  • Prestigious_Pop7634 Something else I thought of is that This is actually a huge red flag OP. ► the fact that the mother wants to sleep in this timy dorm, in her daughters bed, instead of the bigger hotel is alarming and im worried your room mate could be dealing with a narcissistic mother or a mother that suffers from some kind of Personality disorder that has caused her to develop an unhealthy attachment to her child. The only reason they wouldnt stay at the hotel is either the daughter has an
    via u/Prestigious_Pop7634
  • I suspect the room mate has been normalized To this condition for the most part and may not recognize it or the inappropriate nature of her request. And that her mother has some level of control over her. Especially if room mate is fine and respectful of you when her mom wasnt there but is exhibiting toxic behaviors now that she is. She may be in a situation where she has been conditioned her entire life to accept these unhealthy behaviors and attachments. She may not do them on her own but feel
    via u/Prestigious_Pop7634
  • Either way the getting mad, the silent treatment, the askig permission to come off as respectful of your feelings but then turning around and texting your mommy (when you are a grown freaking adult) to tattle on you and say you are rude when you expressed discomfort, are all really toxic, narcissistic behaviors. Its thinking about what mom wants and anyone setting a simple and normal boundary is considered rude because its not what she wants.
    via u/Prestigious_Pop7634
  • So ya; I wouldnt be remotely surprised if room mate's mom has a personality disorder. Some people just cant look at the world from anyone elses perspective but their own. They cant comprehend why someone wouldnt want what they do or why someone would have different ideas or feelings then them. They can only look at situations from their viewpoint. While they may ask permission, its not a genuine question out of respect, Its purely a performance, which is why they turned on you so quickly with su
    via u/Prestigious_Pop7634
  • Keep your guard up, and pay attention to your room mates behaviors. She may be a toxic person like her mom, but is good at hiding it or she may be a young adult that was raised by a person with a serious mental health problem that is controlling and forced an unhealthy attachment into her. She may need grace and understanding if thats the case. But who knows which kind of person she is.
    via u/Prestigious_Pop7634

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dorm room bad roommate hotel roommate mother bad roommates dorm dorms dormitory hotels daughter roommates mom sleeping college college student
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