'I have no idea when he'll finally want to take responsibility for his cat': Highschooler agrees to take care of a friend's kitten, but he ghosts him and says it might take 2-3 years

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Oct 30, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Hello, fellow feline pawrents - you know, you who parent cats, you who adopted a fluffy family member, you who are purroud to call your cat your "kitty kid". Because that's just how it is if you're a cat pawrent, it means you have a cat in your family that you take care of, that you protect, that you adore, that you provide for. That's kind of the starting condition of being, you know, a cat parent. You need to parent a cat.

Apparently, this is a fact not understood by some people. Don't believe us? Yeah, we wouldn't believe us either if we didn't read this next story. There's a person in the world who had the desire (the very benevolent one, we have to admit) to adopt a cat - so he chose a cat to adopt, and immediately gave her to a friend because he couldn't keep the kitten for many life troubles. He promised to provide for her, food, sand, toys - like a true cat pawrent should - but instead, he vanished into thin air. Ghosted the friend who agreed to keep his kitten safe in the meantime. When he does communicate, he says it might take him years until he can pick "his" cat up.

Can you believe it? We didn't either, in the beginning. This is ridiculous. You can't "adopt" a cat, but then expect someone else to take care of them, vet bills and all. Especially if the caretaker friend is still in high school. Did we mention this is a kid who takes up a responsibility like that, as a man? Yeah, the situation is complicated. But at least the cat is in good hands.

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  • 01
    Taking care of a cat for a friend but he's not doing anything for the cat Sensitive/Seeking Support
    via Biodroxyll
  • 02
    To start this off we're all highschoolers/minors and this is just a vent. My friend we'll call R gave me his cat Calypso because of some homing issues; we agreed
    via Biodroxyll
  • 03
    teenage boy kindly reaches to a cat, cat smells the boy's fingers
    via Laura M

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 04
    that I'd take care of his cat as long as he buys stuff for her. I never owned a cat so i was relying on him for supplies. A week after I got her he started ghosting everyone including me—
    via Biodroxyll
  • 05
    < 9:58 OCT 3 AT 8:38 PM 82 Hey you got any cat toys u could lend me? I think Calypso's getting bored I could probably buy some tomorrow since she kinda ripped all of them OHA Thanks bro well calypso and my dog fought over toys Edited yeah np Can u also get a kitty litter box too She's sting all over the plants I have one I just have to get litter and that's all The food I could get Everything I could get tomorrow Message...
    via Biodroxyll
  • 06
    く 9:58 82 Np brotato chip Ight thanks bro 666 I'll write you a list on what to get for her CUZ I GOT NOTHING Okay just make sure it's not so d expensive I'm not that rich bro ONG BRO and I could pay for calypso vet thing next week or the week after Ight bet Message... +
    via Biodroxyll
  • 07
    turns out he was dealing with some family issues & legal issues. However he didn't tell me that and I had to get that info from a mutual friend and then I had to haul ass to get her stuff.
    via Biodroxyll
  • 08
    older teenager in a dark frame, his head covered in a hoodie, half his face is in the shadows, looking unpleasant
    via TommL

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • To be honest, it's very hard to take care of another life, like a new kitten, when you're having trouble taking care of yourself… This person might not be a suitable cat caregiver.

  • 09
    I'm upset that he's not doing anything for the cat, not visiting her, buying her stuff like promised, etc.
    via Biodroxyll

  • We would also be upset! We'd take care of the cat without question, of course, but this is about the breach of trust between friends - or at least someone who's supposed to be a friend. That hurts.

  • 10
    and also not being straightforward abt it bc all he told me was that he might have to postpone her stuff. I tried texting him on insta but he left me on delivered, despite him posting stories. I'll have to
    via Biodroxyll
  • 11
    teenager texting on the phone, raising an eyebrow to what he sees on screen
    via Karola G from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 12
    < 9:59 ill 82 The silllyyy Oh yeah I could give you a blanket she uses? Idk if I still have it tho She also has a weird obsession with boxes and suit cases Yeah I put a box outside for her idk if she went in tho Notes Cat -litter box/litter & scoop -kibble -treats -toys -bed -scratching post Message...
    via Biodroxyll
  • 13
    9:59 اس 82 If you want I can give u some money to but if u can pay for it all buy that then Just give me some money for treats and toys the rest I can cover I have a bed for her I think? Perfect Ight You replied Just give me some money for treats and toys the rest I can cover I'll slide u like $20 that good? SAT 12:29 PM RIGBYYYY I might have to postpone the thing for calypsos stuff Message... +
    via Biodroxyll
  • 14
    O < 9:59- I got out of practice SAT 2:24PM 82 That's fine she can wait a bit I think SUN 7:28 PM She knows how to use a litter box right? Message... MON 12:11AM You replied to their story Story unavailable Dungeon crawlers MON 4:21PM WHEN ARE YOU GONNA GET CALYPSO'S S' TUE 9:07 PM +
    via Biodroxyll
  • 15
    give back Calypso though as I'm only taking care of her until my friend moves out, which would be in at least 2 years, maybe 3. In
    via Biodroxyll
  • 16
    that timespan I fear I'd get too attached and I'm also worried about if Calypso can adjust back to her new owner, esp since she probably would've been bonded with me by then. I
    via Biodroxyll
  • 17
    young teenager cuddling with a cat on the couch, heartwarming moment
    via NoSystem images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 18
    have no idea how long R's problems will last or when he'll finally want to take responsibility for his cat,
    via Biodroxyll
  • 19
    could be a few more weeks or a year. Our mutual friends say that he's just like that and he'll ghost people randomly when shit hits the fan, and I wouldn't
    via Biodroxyll
  • 20
    mind that but I HAVE HIS CAT . If I don't give him back the cat I'll feel really guilty and will probably get shit from my mutual friend(s). I also was going
    via Biodroxyll
  • 21
    to adopt this stray cat but I found out it's a male and Calypso hasn't been spayed so I'm not risking it (I don't think she's ever gone to the vet but I could be wrong),
    via Biodroxyll
  • 22
    and I don't want to be the one who takes her to the vet bc ITS NOT MY CAT; plus vet bills are expensive.
    via Biodroxyll
  • 23
    I just don't know what to do anymore and would just like some advice on how to continue forward and if I should/should not keep the cat.
    via Biodroxyll
  • 24
    young teenager boy hugging a fluffy cat while standing up
    via Ziga Palhutar

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 25
    EIGHTYHD⚫ 1d ago Nah keep the cat dude. if he tries legally you can stipulate that he pay for ALL of the care for the last year and maybe even a cat sitting fee.
    via EIGHTYHD
  • 26
    evidence will show that you tried to reach out and that he wasn't fulfilling his side of the agreement. argue abandonment blah blah
    via EIGHTYHD
  • 27
    blah. he sounds like he might not even be reachable in three years anyway. take her to the vet and get those papers under your name. ها 9 > Reply
    via EIGHTYHD
  • 28
    Rykmigrundt90 • 21h ago This is the only right response. 8 ↑ 2 ♡ Reply Pixichixi 20h ago Keep a record of all possible purchases too. Like a box of receipts or pics and screenshots of receipts. And screenshot all text communications to save a record. πιο ο Reply
    via Rykmigrundt90 | Pixichixi
  • 29
    • BigBabcha 1d ago Taking care of anything is a responsibility, including a cat. It sounds like your friend has a lot going on, and not much capacity to take on that responsibility right now
    via BigBabcha
  • 30
    (a high schooler with legal issues is pretty heavy). Maybe, if the cat likes you, and you like the cat, it might be worth figuring out some way to keep it, even if it requires making
    via BigBabcha
  • 31
    some decisions about the next steps in your life so that becomes possible. You might just keep the kitty from going back into a volatile situation, your friend might be
    via BigBabcha
  • 32
    grateful someone they can trust has stepped in to fill the void, and you might gain a companion for life. ☆ 5 Reply > ...
    via BigBabcha
  • 33
    piezomagnetism ⚫ 1d ago Is there a way you can have then sign the cat over to you in writing? That you adopt the cat from them? If a cat has been with me for a year, that's definitely my baby at that point and I definitely won't want to give her away. Of course you get attached to it, so maybe take care of it now and adopt him so you don't have to worry about them in the future. 823 ۵2 Reply
    via piezomagnetism
  • 34
    Biodroxyll OP • 1d ago I don't think he'd let me have his cat permanently and he doesn't like talking about the cat so I'm giving him some space but if I could I'd totally adopt Calypso ↑ 1 > Reply
    via Biodroxyll
  • 35
    piezomagnetism • 1d ago Maybe you could give him an ultimatum. Pick up the cat now, or it's yours. Sounds harsh, but it's also in the best interest of a cat to not switch owners too often, or be away from their original owner for too long because really, the cat will be attached to you too. Cats can experience heartbreak too, even if she's going back to the original owner. ↑ 3 ♡ > Reply ...
    via piezomagnetism
  • 36
    Biodroxyll OP • 10h ago He can't pick her up because of some apartment/landlord stuff And also according to a mutual friend he's "banned" from leaving his apartment—but idk if this is the case anymore cuz yesterday R and our friends went to the beach together for the entire day.
    via Biodroxyll
  • 37
    And yeah Calypso might have separation anxiety because she always wants to cuddle with me, she follows me everywhere, and then I put her in her room at night (which is half of my living room) she meows and tries to get out and won't stop until I open the door and she can be with me. 1 Reply ...
    via Biodroxyll
  • 38
    Pixichixi 21h ago I'm mentally giving some grace here because your friend is also young and obviously has a lot going on in life. Anyone who knows they cannot care for a pet might make themselves feel better by saying they can get that pet back when life is better.
    via Pixichixi
  • 39
    But 2 or 3 years isn't good for anyone. I had that experience myself in my early 20s when my bf at the time could no longer keep our new kitten. We thought it was temporary and we could board him at the vet until life got a little easier and we could get
    via Pixichixi
  • 40
    him back. After 3 months, the vet told us that it was not fair to the cat anymore. We both cried but luckily one of the vet techs fell in love with kitty and his going to someone able to care for him was absolutely the right decision.
    via Pixichixi
  • 41
    The fact that Calypso is not spayed and may not ever have been to a vet plus the fact that your friend isn't visiting or providing supplies with no way of knowing if you can provide supplies tells me that even if your friend emotionally believes they can care for Calypso in the
    via Pixichixi
  • 42
    future, they weren't able to care for her even before giving her to you. If you were all adults, I would say your friend is being very selfish. As younger people, it's still selfish but more from a lack of maturity and experience instead of a character flaw.
    via Pixichixi
  • 43
    In 2 or 3 years your friend may be able to care for a pet but in that case, they should start from the beginning. I was in a far better position just a couple of years after giving up my kitten
    via Pixichixi
  • 44
    but never considered tracking down the vet tech who created a home for him to take him back because that was now his home and I was just a person who cared for him for a couple of months. 2 Reply ۵2
    via Pixichixi

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