'I loaned him $200 last month for groceries, no repayment': Dinner mooch expects his college friends to foot the bill after ordering an absurd amount of expensive food, 23-year-old frugal friend refuses

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 15, 2025 10:00 AM EST

Nobody likes a moocher, but when your friends are the "taking" type, you have to learn to put your foot down before you end up as bankrupt as they are. A college group of friends was accustomed to going out for dinner every other month to catch up, but this time, things were different because one of them was struggling financially. In the past, the friends came together to help this friend, but apparently, he had grown accustomed to a certain level of moochery in life, and it turned him into an entitled friend… And frankly, a nightmare dinner partner. 

When people struggle financially in life, it seems that they have two options on how to handle it. Some people will humbly start to save their monthly dubloons, attempting to be more frugal and save up on their own accord. Others will turn into all-consuming monsters, Godzilla-stomping their friends and family for an extra squeeze of cash at every opportunity. Be like the first option, not the second, or you may end up like the cashless (and soon to be friendless) mooch in this next story, who tried to take advantage of his buddies' generosity. 

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  • AITA for refusing to split the bill evenly on a group dinner when my friend ordered like it was his last meal?
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  • I'm (23F) part of a close friend group that's been together since college five of us guys and girls who try to catch up for dinners a couple times a month.
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  • College friends eating dinner together
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We're all in decent financial spots, but one friend, "Jake" (26M), has been going through a rough patch lately. He's been laid off from his job for about six months now,
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  • and while we've all chipped in for little things here and there (like covering his tab once or twice when he was short),
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  • we've never made a big deal out of it. I get it life sucks sometimes, and we're friends.
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  • Last weekend, we met up at this mid-range steakhouse we've gone to before. It's not cheap, but nothing crazy entrees around $30-40, drinks
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  • extra. Everyone else (me included) kept it reasonable: I got a ribeye with a side salad and one beer. Total for me was about $45 before tip. The
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  • other three guys did similar maybe one or two cocktails, no big splurges. Jake, though? He went all out. Started with the
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  • calamari appetizer for the table (which he insisted on, and we all shared), then a fancy loaded baked potato as his starter, the
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  • biggest porterhouse they had (like $55), two glasses of wine, a side of creamed spinach, and he even added a dessert flight
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  • Friends having dinner at a restaurant.
    via Allan Gonzales

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • (three mini desserts for $18). He was super upbeat about it, cracking jokes like "Live a little, right? Who knows when I'll eat like this again!" We all laughed it off in the
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  • Empty plate of food.
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  • moment because, hey, if it made him feel better, cool. His bill probably hit $90+ easy. When the check came, it
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  • was one of those auto- split apps where it divides everything evenly five ways. That put each of us at around $65, which would've been fine if everyone ordered similarly.
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  • But with Jake's stuff factored in, it was pushing it for me I'd already budgeted for a normal night out, and $65 meant dipping into savings I was trying to build for a house down payment.
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  • I quietly pulled up the itemized bill on my phone and suggested we just pay for what we ordered individually, maybe Venmo Jake the difference later if
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  • he needed help. Jake got really quiet, then said something like, "Dude, come on, it's a group thing. Don't make it weird."
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  • The other guys looked uncomfortable and just paid up without saying much, not wanting to rock the boat. I ended up covering my exact amount
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  • and Venmo'd the restaurant the tip, but I didn't throw in for Jake's extras. Now Jake's not talking to me and texted the group chat calling me "stingy"
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  • and saying I "ruined the vibe" by making it about money when he was just trying to enjoy himself. The other friends are kinda siding with him passively,
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  • like "It wasn't that big a deal, man." But I feel like if we're all adults, we should pay for what we choose, especially when someone's clearly ordering beyond what they
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  • can swing. I've helped him out before without question loaned him $200 last month for groceries, no repayment asked but this felt different, like he was banking on us subsidizing his feast.
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  • AITA for not wanting to I cover half of someone else's lobster-level order when I stuck to a burger budget?
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  • Large_Effective_... NTA, after decades of encountering stuff like this I always ask for separate checks now. I only split the bill with a few close friends.
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  • I'm on a budget. The irony is my former friends that did this always made more money than I and it was ridiculous. I would no longer go out or be friends with someone like Jake and
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  • I would keep my eyes on the people that agree with him. I would spend less time with them
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  • MantuaMan ⚫ Maybe Jake ruined the "vibe" NTA.
    via MantuaMan

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friendship friends paying restaurant pay back split the bill money college
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