Mom steals iPad from her 8-year-old daughter and gives it to her stepdaughter, dad calls the police and reports her for theft: 'Her view is sisters should help sisters out'

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  • Little girl on a chair using a tablet
  • My daughter's iPad

    I recently bought my 8 year old daughter an iPad. Her mother and I are divorced and I use the iPad to keep in touch with my daughter via FaceTime.
  • A couple days ago I was not able to reach her, I made contact with her through her mother's phone and told her there was something wrong with her FaceTime and she needed to ask her Mom to help her resolve the problem.
  • My daughter than advised me that her half sister (ex wife's daughter from a previous relationship) had damaged her iPad and needed to access information so her mother had given her my daughter's iPad to use.
  • I was livid, my ex had not contributed toward my daughter's iPad (she is a C level exec) and in my mind had no right to take something I paid for, for the benefit of my daughter and give it to anyone else to use.
  • Added to this my daughter was visibly upset by being put in this situation. I immediately told my ex this situation was not acceptable and that the iPad should be returned.
  • She assured me it would be returned that evening. Two days later I asked my daughter if the iPad had been returned and she advised that it had not.
  • I again contacted my ex, explained to her that she had no authority to give the iPad to anyone.
  • She basically told me she would do as she likes. The following day I approached the Police for assistance.
  • Police chief standing near body of water
  • They said it was a situation with a lot of grey areas but they would be willing to accompany me to retrieve the iPad.
  • They advised that it would be beneficial to all parties if there was a written agreement in place between me and my ex to acknowledge that the iPad was my property intend for my daughters exclusive use.
  • I had my lawyer draw up a simple acknowledgement and asked my ex to sign it, she flipped out and called me "mad" and said I was a "small man with a grudge." Her view is sister's should help sisters out and I agree with that.
  • However I do feel that at the very least she could have asked me before just taking the iPad.
  • Anyway, am I the problem here? Edit: For some context here - There was a lot of back and forth where the ex refused to return the iPad.
  • was desperate for some advice, so I went and had a chat with the Police.
  • I did not dive into the history of my ex, let's just say she is not the most upstanding member of society.
  • Our last major fight as a married couple was over her taking money from her Mother who has Alzheimer's, that is the level of morals | am dealing with.
  • Woman in yellow and green floral shirt holding white ceramic mug
  • LdiJ46 No, I do not think that you are. You bought the IPad so that you could facetime with your daughter and it was not available for your purposes, because mom gave it to her other child to use. Mom was dead wrong on that. It is one thing to use the IPad for a few minutes to access something. It is entirely another thing to have it for days.
  • writing_mm_romance I'm having a hard time believing this story - why wouldn't a c-level executive be able to simply buy her other child a laptop or ipad of their own? It just seems a bit preposterous.
  • OP ZonkyNut The other daughter had an iPad, it went for a swim in the pool. Not sure how that is my problem to solve.
  • KeeLove08 Based on the information you provided alone I'm going NTA. I agree that siblings should be encouraged to share but your daughter should be given her iPad back once her sister is done with it.
  • Antique_Elk7826 You need to go before a judge and have this legalized in the custody order. ETA: And you totally did not need to add your edit. That truly makes you look like an AH.
  • SonOfSchrute NTA. Your ex wife is a bitter crazy person. You should communicate only through a monitored app and start pushing for increased custody. This step sister situation is going to get waaaaay worse.
  • Agitated-Buddy2913 Go to icloud and mark the iPad as lost. In the future make sure your daughter does not share the passcode with anybody. Tell your ex that you know the passcode and if you ever think any nefarious activity is going on you will check the iPad.
  • BobblySockDragon NTA - The IPad is Your property, purchased for the exclusive purpose of your daughter being able to contact you. The taking of the iPad isn't just theft, it's preventing communication, which is recognised as parental alienation. The situation clearly demonstrates that the Ex is prioritising one child over the other and estranging their relationship, as well as not adequately providing for both children - As a C level exec she should be financially capable of promptly getting her
  • Due_Awareness_7557 Y'all need to chill out. The whole point of going to the police is because ex wife stole the iPad for the step daughter. She didn't give it back when she was done. She let her keep it. She was probably was being stupid petty and didn't want them FaceTime. I mean, she has no problem stealing money from the elderly. That probably why she's an exec. Has no problem screwing people for her own goals. Back to the police. This is literally what they are here for. They went, got it al
  • OP ZonkyNut Thanks for the feedback everyone. I did not make the post to bash my ex, she is who she is and nothing will change that. We do not fight and only speak to each other regarding my daughter. The point behind the post was to self reflect, to understand if my feelings of discomfort with the situation were justified and if not then I need to identify the shortcoming and work on it. In the end my one and only goal will always be to act in the best interest of my daughter. To a degree this

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