Wife pushes husband to retire as planned and cut off financially dependent adult kids who refuse to grow up, compromising parents’ retirement plans: ‘I want to be able to travel and enjoy life with my husband before we’re too old to do so’

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  • AITAH for wanting my husband to retire even though our adult children still rely on us financially?

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  • My husband and I are in our 60s and have been planning to retire soon. However, my husband now wants to delay retirement because our two adult children still depend on us.
  • Our son (28) doesn't work right now. He says it's very difficult to find a job in his field, and he doesn't want to take anything outside of it.
  • Because of that, we currently pay his rent, food, and all of his bills. Our daughter (25) lives with us and works part time.
  • She says it's been hard to find a full- time position in what she studied, so we cover most of her expenses too.
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  • My husband says they both still need a lot of help that we wouldn't be able to provide if he retires.
  • One of his main concerns is that their cars are getting old and that we'll need to buy them new ones soon.
  • (We bought their current cars and paid for their education.) I feel that at this point, our kids need to learn to fend for themselves.
  • If they need new cars, they can make payments like everyone else. I want to be able to travel and enjoy life with my husband before we're too old to do so.
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  • So - AITA for wanting my husband to retire even though our adult children still rely on us?
  • Edit: Thanks so much to everyone for your feedback. I've read through your comments and take them to heart.
  • Hearing so many perspectives helped open up a meaningful conversation between my husband and me. He's been listening, reflecting, and seems to be seeing the light which gives me hope we're moving toward a healthier balance both for our kids and for our retirement dreams.
  • grayblue_grrl Sounds like your kids will work your husband into the grave. You might want to discuss that with him. Time for the kids to move out.
  • lihzee NTA. Absolutely wild that you two are funding your 28 year old's life. You guys need to cut that out. Your son needs to get over not being able to find a job in his field and find a damn job, period.
  • 295Phoenix ESH because you've been enabling them for far too long. "I don't want to work outside of my field?!" What sort of entitled bullshit is that? Work is a necessity, not a hobby. You get what's available AND THEN you keep an eye out for more more opportunities.
  • Dennisdmenace5 I'm an older dad. I put my daughter through college no student loans. I bought her a new car her senior year and told her I'm sorry but I've sacrificed for 23 years and I'm going to retire. This new car is what I needed when I was young. After this I'm done
  • NTA Cursd818 Your husband is not helping them. Quite frankly, by coddling them in this way, he is ruining them. Sit him down and tell him this. At 28yo, your son refusing to take any job he can is despicable. Tell your husband that you refuse to let your children remain as spoiled brats. The free ride ends. now. You have given them more than enough and need to prioritise yourselves now. Then, sit your children down and explain that they will not be receiving further aid from you. You will not be
  • Ok-Actuator7302 Sorry that this may not be what you want to hear but your kids sound like freeloaders. Stop funding them and start planning and enjoying your retirement.
  • PainterFew2080 You need to have a Coming to Jesus meeting with your children. They need to be independent adults and financially on their own. You are not doing them any favors by enabling their lifestyles.
  • Competitive_Fee_5829 YTA for taking care of fully grown adults. You are coddling them and when you and your husband die they will have NO idea how to function in the world and might end up homeless. do you want that?
  • Brief Horror My parents said once you move out it's on you. You need to cut the cord

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